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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be uneasy about postman 'letting himself in'

50 replies

Georgeofthejungle · 08/02/2017 22:48

I just saw another thread about a post man and it made me think about my own post man predicament..

I live in a very rural house in a farming community type area. The post man has been doing this same route for years and years and is very friendly and nice. Every time we have some post that doesn't fit through the letterbox he opens the door slightly and just pops it on to the floor.

Our backdoor (where he pops stuff in) is directly in front of the bathroom and the other day I was walking to the bathroom and he was sticking his head in as he put stuff down, telling me he had a big box for me to sign for..

I can't make up my mind if I am ok with this or not. Am I just being a bit of a princess here or is it a bit weird?

OP posts:
bramblina · 08/02/2017 22:49

I have no problem with it. I live rurally too. It is a personal choice though and if you are uncomfortable then you are within your rights to do something about it. Or just always have your door locked.

PastysPrincess · 08/02/2017 22:52

Why is your doornot locked?

BertrandRussell · 08/02/2017 22:54

I am very pleased that our postman does this. But if you don't like it, lock the door. Sorted.

Original poster
Georgeofthejungle · 08/02/2017 22:54

I don't always lock my door patsys.

I can't make up my mind it it's really handy (so I don't have to go to the door / get it out of the shed) or if i just don't like it.. 🤔

OP posts:
Floggingmolly · 08/02/2017 22:59

I can't imagine living somewhere I didn't feel compelled to lock the door...

Iamastonished · 08/02/2017 23:01

As others have pointed out, just lock the door, like most of us do.

Even though you clearly live in an area with a low crime rate, if you were burgled because your door wasn't locked the insurance company may not pay out.

PastysPrincess · 08/02/2017 23:03

Lock your door then...simples!

Why on earth would you not lock your doors?

Winegumaddict · 08/02/2017 23:03

Mine does this and I love him for it. He's so good now he can be in abd out before my dogs bark. I'd hate to have to go to the post office each time. But I'm very rural and grew up in a rural area too so maybe it seems more normal than if you move some where like that.

Spam88 · 08/02/2017 23:04

If you don't like it, lock your door Confused

HirplesWithHaggis · 08/02/2017 23:06

I also live rurally and don't usually lock the doors when there's someone (awake) in the house - frequently just me. I'm so used to this, I'd find it odd to have the door locked all the time! Grin Anyway, my postie does this, it's fine by me.

TondelayaDellaVentamiglia · 08/02/2017 23:06

I can't imagine living somewhere I DID feel compelled to lock the door.

I think you are over reacting a bit tbh op, it doesn't seem like he was flinging the door wide to have a nosey to catch you in the nip and set the parcel in the centre of the kitchen table....just a crack in the door, arm through and parcel on the floor

Our lot mostly leave a card, but depending which postie they will sometimes pop the door open and leave it in the porch. Mind you I am a lazy besom and rarely dressed even when they do knock mid morning lunchtime

DJBaggySmalls · 08/02/2017 23:08

This is normal in rural areas. I wouldnt do it now I live in a city. If you dont like it dont worry, they wont be offended if you use a chain.

bummymummy77 · 08/02/2017 23:11

We never lock our door, even when we go away. People do walk in and borrow stuff which is annoying but then we borrow other people's stuff too. Grin

OrchidaceousRose · 08/02/2017 23:12

It's just one of those things where you can't have it both ways

fabulousfun · 08/02/2017 23:14

My postman does this....I'm fine with it. I never lock my door....not sure I even know where the key is Blush I live rurally but still in SE. I've nothing of value to steal and have family in neighbouring farm buildings who are aware of comings and goings of everyone. Must sound strange to those who even lock the doors when you're inside the house....but that sounds odd to me. 😀

ghostspirit · 08/02/2017 23:19

I don't lock my door. Part from if I get a bath/shower

DramaAlpaca · 08/02/2017 23:19

We live rurally and don't feel the need to keep our doors locked during the day.

If the post is too big for the letterbox the postwoman does the same as the OP's, she just opens the back door a little bit and pops the post on the worktop inside.

I'm fine with it usually, but if I happened to be in the loo which is next to the back door I'd probably be a bit uncomfortable!

If we're out and the door is locked she puts the post through the cat flap.

chatnanny · 08/02/2017 23:20

Our postman does the same. If it's locked he assumes I'm out and pops stuff in garage. Yes I think it's normal in rural areas.

MammaTJ · 08/02/2017 23:21

I am just grateful I don't have to trek to the post office to collect.

I am glad the postie relieves me of that hassle.

He knows that though and knows to drop all parcels to my back porch, which works well for me.

Unihorn · 08/02/2017 23:28

If you're uncomfortable bit don't want to have a chat about it, you could possibly lock the door a few times with a note asking him to leave it in the shed. Hopefully he will eventually just get the idea.

I never lock my door if I'm in the house. I don't even live in a particularly rural area, but it's definitely not the city. I know most of my neighbours.

ILikeyourHairyHands · 08/02/2017 23:32

We always left our doors open even when out when we lived rurally, the postie would pop any parcels on the kitchen table (just inside the kitchen door), and very thankful I was too!

Ginkypig · 08/02/2017 23:33

Quite normal rurally but that's not really the point.

You need to decide if your not happy about it and if not then do somthing to rectify it. Either way it's ok however you feel as it your house.even if that does end up being more work for you both.

stoopido · 08/02/2017 23:34

I have had this several times with people leaving junk mail! They kept opening my door and dropping it in the hallway! I have a new door now so this can't happen as it used to scare the life out of me. My issue with my postwoman is the fact she likes to put her hands up to my windows and peer in to see if I am in so she can HAND me the letters!? (her words). I had to ask her to stop doing it when I saw her peering in through the glass in the front door as I was walking from the bathroom almost semi naked! Please stop looking in and feel free to just post the letters through the letterbox!

ReasonsToBeModeratelyHappy · 08/02/2017 23:47

It's really not his fault your back door is right by the bathroom! - lock the door if you don't want people opening it. It would annoy me a lot, and make me jump if someone opened my front door, but its very easily fixed. Our postman rings the bell and leaves the parcel on the doormat (I often go and pick it up and wave and say thanks).

I guess if its a safe area to leave your doors unlocked, it would likely also be safe for your parcels to be left on the step.

Iamastonished · 09/02/2017 07:13

"We never lock our door, even when we go away."

And in the unlikely event you get burgled it would invalidate your insurance policy.

I live rurally and the most common burglary round here is to steal car keys to steal a car. Saying that you have friendly and trustworthy neighbours is naive. Most burglars drive, so it is going to be someone who isn't local.