When people compare labours?

[Simonely11]

How do you feel when people comment on how your labor was? For example mine was very quick first time round, 4 hours in total. I've had a few people say to me that I had a 'breeze' of a birth and I'm so lucky to not have gonethrough hell like them, (20 hour labors etc). If I remember correctly it was hell! It was excruciating and I couldn't have any pain relief. My sisters friend also said recently that I cheated birth and didn't experience what it was really like because I'm a 'cheater' I was biting my lip thinking yeah ok then! Definitely not an easy process, although I know it beats a 2-3 day labor hands down.

My sister was like you OP and I heard the noises she made. Bloody terrifying. My Mum and I looked at each other and scuttled off downt he corridor to escape!

We went to look at the local garden centre instead! I had a long labour, full of drugs and anxiety. It's all bloody awful however you look at it.

People talking of "the magic" and all that...it's not magic it's terrible!

I never laboured at all as had two planned c-sections. I try to leave when people start talking about labour. I hate their stories and how they make me feel, as though I've cheated my way into motherhood and missed this rite of passage.

I had a very short labour and it was excruciating. There was no time to breathe and I screamed through it.

On paper it was a perfect labour though.

My friend had a 30 hour one with epidural and she said it was lovely.

Next time give me the longer one

captain me too but we didn't cheat, we had babies!

And anyway, both times I got infections, does that up my suffering score?

Dd1 took about 10 hours from waters breaking. It was incredibly painful for the whole 10 hours, to the point where I've blocked out a lot of it.

Dd2 took 1 hour from my waters going, (4-10cm in an hour) and I had great fun. Joking with the midwives, enjoying the gas and air and getting excited to meet my baby. She flew out in one contraction with no pushing at all.

So, long doesn't necessarily mean easy, and a short labour isn't always excruciating.

I don't have quick labours, but I do have fast second stages, and get the shakes afterwards. With DS2 my active labour is marked as roughly 45mins. Within that time I went from asking for g&a as I felt the pain was getting strong at roughly 6cms to delivering him. He pretty much shot out the push after my waters went. I can hand on my heart say that labour was easy. My first was back to back, and not easy. I do think second time, because I got a break in the contractions, and pain built slowly over 8hrs from the first twinge I was in control. I didn't need to go in within 2 hours like I did with my first. All made for a more enjoyable experience.

I would not want a quick labour. Being able to compose and prepare was far less stressful. That said I probably should have gone to hospital sooner. My mw predicted that as soon as my waters went Id have the baby. She was very concerned that with my history, and the fact I was used to a more intense, constant pain, I wouldn't realise how far I was and could end up giving birth in the car park.

I don't see the point in being competitive. You don't really have any control over your contractions or how you manage with your pain. I happen to cope well with contractions, but not other types of pain.