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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask what to do when kids too sick for nursery/school

63 replies

awaywiththelairys · 05/02/2017 18:39

DH and I work FT. DS has been at nursery FT sincce I returned to work when he was 8 months. This weekend he's been vomiting and is feverish AGAIN and doesn't seem he will be well enough for nursery tomorrow. It will be the 4th time in 4 months, and again I am the one who has to take time off to look after him (DH 'can't possibly'). I'm not looking forward to the conversation I'll have to have with my boss tomorrow as I'm sure the impression is that I'm taking the mick.

How does anyone have young kids and manage to keep their job???

OP posts:

unfortunateevents · 05/02/2017 21:24

So he wouldn't/couldn't do it in his previous stressful job, and now he still won't do it in his new job while he is settling in?! What will next year's excuse be? It doesn't matter how established you are in your job, your employers are not going to be impressed when they realise that you seem to be the only parent who is taking time off for your sick child.

bunnylove99 · 05/02/2017 21:39

You should be taking it in turns. Unless you have some completely dispensible job, which would seem unlikely, especially as you are at it FT . Most employers expect time off for sick kids to be shared 50-50 between parents. I would imagine the only thing that might change this is if one of you gets flexitime or far more generous annual leave, in which case you have more days spare to use.

PoundingTheStreets · 05/02/2017 21:50

I sympathise. When my DC were about 2 and started nursery I seemed to be constantly taking time off for sickness. Fortunately I had a lovely boss and was able to work from home. I don't know what I'd do now I'm in a different job but DC are older so it rarely happens, plus I'm no longer a single parent and DP takes it in turns.

Your DH sounds like he's making excuses tbh.

Minesril · 05/02/2017 21:53

4 times in 4 months, is that all?

Your dh is a dick. Mine earns double what i do. We still take it in turns.

Original poster

awaywiththelairys · 05/02/2017 22:07

Reassuring to know I'm not being unreasonable!

Have discussed it and agreed that I take tomorrow and he says he will do Tuesday - assuming no more vomiting hopefully DS will be back at nursery by Wednesday, if not we'll have to discuss again...

Maybe as pp suggested we should look for a childminder instead. Unfortunately no family near us, and our friends all work FT so unable to help during the week (but have been amazing at weekends). Thanks for the ideas and support MNers

Naive as it sounds I wasn't expecting DS to be ill quite so often

OP posts:

Chamonix1 · 05/02/2017 22:12

You're not alone OP.
I've been at home since Wednesday with a sick child, who's only just stopped being sick last night so can't go back until Tuesday!
DP won't take time off because he earns more.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 05/02/2017 22:14

I have never taken time off for mine (eldest 10). I work 2 days in a low paid job with zero flexibility. H is much more senior and can rearrange things or take late leave without issues so he does that when my parents can't help. I am of course the first there if it's one of my days off.

Original poster

awaywiththelairys · 05/02/2017 22:16

minesril
'only' 4 times yes, but has been a whole week each time and with everything shuttig down at work over Christmas and a few weeks of cross-cover at another site, it feels like I've barely been at work! This time at least DS had the decency to start throwing up on Friday night rather than Sunday/Monday morning, so am hopeful...

OP posts:

Angrybird123 · 05/02/2017 22:19

A childminder is better than a nursery in this regard but still have the 48 hour rule and have to.consider their other mindees. Is a nanny an option? There are pros and cons to every childcare setting but at least a nanny comes to you and only deals with your child so sickness (of the child) isn't problem.

missymayhemsmum · 05/02/2017 23:00

as a working lone parent I always agreed up front with my manager that if I did extra hours I banked the leave for when the kids are sick.
Have also been known to wrap up a feverish child and drive to the grandparents though.

Rinceoir · 05/02/2017 23:10

We take turns, work from home where possible. Sometimes one of us will go into work really early and leave allowing other person go in late and leave late. It's very hard.

unfortunateevents · 05/02/2017 23:55

Eek, four weeks absence in four months is almost 25%! It really doesn't matter how flexible your employer is, they are going to lose patience soon. Presumably you must also be getting behind at work. Does your H realise what the implications of this level of absence are for you? Four full weeks of illness for your DS is also a lot. They do tend to pick up everything going in nursery when they start but often it is a 2 or 3 day thing. Having a week off every time is a lot, is he normally a poorly baby?

3boys3dogshelp · 06/02/2017 00:15

Please put your foot down OP. For a couple of years I did all took all the time off for our (at the time) 2 children thanks to my DH's boss being really odd about it - he took one half day after I had taken a WEEK so I could go in for a meeting which had been rearranged twice already and she called him in for a meeting about his commitment to the business!! It was a mistake and I ended up leaving that job, mostly due to the bad feeling that my absences caused with the team.

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