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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not go to my expensive gym?

133 replies

gaspingwaythroughlife · 05/02/2017 09:45

I got a bit carried away in January and joined an expensive gym.

I am at least 5 stone overweight.

I am useless. Rubbish, hopeless. I do around three minutes and am gasping for breath, in huge amounts of pain and hating it.

I now retrospectively realise that I should have shifted a couple of stone BEFORE joining but anyone got any suggestions in the interim?

OP posts:
theclick · 05/02/2017 13:24

Pay the price for cancelling the membership (which will be cheaper in the long run) and join The Gym, which should be no more than £20 per month.

teaandakitkat · 05/02/2017 13:32

I know, it sounds awful written down. I'm not going to do it again. But it's always in the course of a conversation, not just me marching up to someone out of the blue and saying "hey, did you know I used to be fat like you?". It's quite a small gym so all the regulars do chat, and I remember how hard it was at the beginning to walk in and be 'the fat new person' and feel like a fish out of water. I'd hate other people to feel that way too and be put off exercising.
I'm going to shut up now and hide in the corner.

MatildaTheCat · 05/02/2017 13:35

A few thoughts:

When we first got gym membership 20+ years ago we were pretty broke so it was a big extravagance. So I did a deal with myself that I had to go at least 10 times a month. I placed a cross on my kitchen wall calendar every time I went. I still do this, it's a clear record and sense of achievement that I have done some exercise.

Aquarobics is nothing like swimming. Our gym runs classes very single day and some days two classes because it is so extremely popular, mainly with larger women. They have a ball and it's very sociable and fun.some people wear tshirts etc over their swimsuits but mostly not because it's not judgey at all.

Our gym also runs weight loss courses, they combine diet and exercise and provide motivation. You'd get proper advice on both and also meet up with members who feel just like you.

The gym instructors do, indeed LOVE to be asked for advice and would probably not wish for any new member to use equipment and devise their own plan because it's actually dangerous. You need their instruction for safety as well as effectiveness.

Try everything on offer within reason. You will only keep going if you find something you love. It may turn out to be kick boxing or spinning or Pilates. Until you try you cannot know.

Lastly, if there is a spa area, reward your efforts with a jacuzzi,msteam or whatever you enjoy to relax. Then a skinny latte in the cafe.

Enjoy. Remember, marathon not sprint. Smile

CaurnieBred · 05/02/2017 13:37

I was around 4 stone overweight when I joined the gym. My stuff came from Aldi/Lidl/Tesco and I still wear stuff from there. The only things I paid good money for were my bras! Went for 9 months but I only started losing weight when I also signed up to weightwatchers.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 05/02/2017 13:37

Oh dear... I do feel for you. I'm back at the gym after nearly 20 years and with dodgy everything. Please do ask if they can figure out a program to help you. A good gym should be able to. God luck and all the best ( I really do mean that ).

CaurnieBred · 05/02/2017 13:40

Pressed return too soon. I don't have time to look at anyone else (at spin class I am too focused on keeping breathing!) and at pump I am too busy checking to make sure my form is correct. I have to do classes: have no motivation to go otherwise.

FromIbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 05/02/2017 13:49

Please stick with it! You'll regret it if you don't.

Honestly, all gyms (expensive private ones with £££s memberships or cheaper pay per session council run ones) have people of all shapes, sizes and abilities. Nobody gives two hoots about the other gym goers because they're all different. There's one guy at my gym who only has one leg - I didn't even notice the first few times I saw him there.

Over the time I've been going I have seen the slow but steady transformation of people who, in the beginning, could have been you. There's one guy who must be in his 60s who was massively overweight who is often there - he does a slow but steady ride on the exercise bikes, a walk on the treadmill and some weights machines and it's clearly doing him some good as he is steadily losing the weight and his stamina is improving.

Original poster
gaspingwaythroughlife · 05/02/2017 14:20

tea please tell me you haven't ever actually said this? Shock

I was being nice earlier but honestly, I would be FURIOUS if someone said that to me! Even a very close friend.

jennie have you lost the weight now? That's amazing!

OP posts:
blueredyellow · 05/02/2017 14:24

Can you freeze your gym membership?

If so do that, spend the money you save on those months on a PT and then return to the gym with confidence when your freeze period is over!

BitOutOfPractice · 05/02/2017 14:33

I only really chat to one or two people at my gym though I'll smile and do that head nod eyebrow acknowledgement thing to others too.

I did march up and speak to some women last week because they did the most beautifully synchronised routine on the gym floor right in front of the treadmill i was using and I went to say how impressed I was - I had enjoyed watching their amazing co-ordination Grin

Other than that, as others have said, I am in a world of my own at the gym thinking about precisely nothing. In fact that's what I like best about the gym. Thinking and saying nothing

Rachel0Greep · 05/02/2017 14:59

Same here Bit I'm in my own world, and as I said earlier, especially with the PT, I'm busy learning - and loving it!

Rachel0Greep · 05/02/2017 15:02

tea you could just nod and be friendly. That's all I would have wanted when I started out.

JaceLancs · 05/02/2017 15:05

I have been going to the gym since I was 8 stone overweight
Lost quite a bit but still dieting and exercising
Start off gently with walking on treadmill not running, cycling at your pace and using other machines for a few minutes at a time
I developed a routine that suited me and built up the levels and times slowly

teaandakitkat · 05/02/2017 15:12

tea please tell me you haven't ever actually said this? shock

I was being nice earlier but honestly, I would be FURIOUS if someone said that to me! Even a very close friend.

Ach I've explained it all wrong and made myself sound awful. Or maybe I am awful but nobody has ever told me.

Ours is quite a small gym so it's easy to spot the people who are new. Some people are new and super fit and confident so I just say hi and leave them to it, some people are obviously new and nervous and feeling out of place. I thought it was nice to make a point of going over and saying hello, given that I've been that person. Almost always the person has commented on how they feel uncomfortable because of their size or unfitness or the fact that they're not wearing a tshirt proclaiming they've run an ultra marathon and I've replied along the lines of "don't worry about it, I was just the same when I started, I was 4 stone overweight and really unfit". I don't wander around looking for overweight people and march up and say hello, I see you're fat. I used to be fat too but look at me now! That would clearly be awful.

Original poster
gaspingwaythroughlife · 05/02/2017 15:14

It is nicer now you've said that tea but honestly just a generic 'don't worry' would be better.

If you said that to me I would be thinking I looked huge and I'd actually never go back feel very self conscious

OP posts:
Astoria7974 · 05/02/2017 15:15

The best 5pm runner at my gym is a lady who is morbidly obese (she has pcos like me and we got talking - she is at least 10st overweight). Fitness isn't about size it's about health.

Lesley1980 · 05/02/2017 15:19

I stArted exercising at the end of June when I was 17 stone 1. It was hard, embarrassing & I felt like a failure because I set my expectations too high & never met them. I hadn't exercised for 4 years & gained multiple stones but still expected to go on the treadmill & be able to run. I'm now 3 stone lighter & still have more to lose. I initially squatted with no weights & now I can squat 62kg. I can dead lift 38kg when before I couldn't even swing a 6kg kettle bell. I started a boot camp & I was the fittest, fastest & strongest despite being probably 4 stone heavier & 10 years older than the other girls.

Keep going. You need to build up your fitness & it does get easier. Walk as much as you can because it really does help. Keep pushing yourself. Get a trainer or an induction & you will be shown how to exercise & you'll probably be surprised just how much you can achieve. Just imagine what you can achieve if you just keep going

Original poster
gaspingwaythroughlife · 05/02/2017 15:29

I do want to lose weight though. If someone said to me you can improve your fitness but you will never lose weight I wouldn't bother to be honest

OP posts:
BIWI · 05/02/2017 15:48

What's your plan for your eating gaspingwaythroughlife? As several of us have pointed out, exercise is only a small part of weight loss. It's diet that's most important.

Don't get me wrong - exercise is really good for you, both physically and mentally, but it's much harder to lose weight through exercise alone!

Original poster
gaspingwaythroughlife · 05/02/2017 15:53

I know I have signed up to a diet. Finding I'm craving my fave foods a bit otherwise am ok!

OP posts:
Catlady1976 · 05/02/2017 15:54

Op please don't give up. I pay for gym membership but I have been going less frequently recently. I feel more fat than fit.
Fortunately I have made a decision to return to regular exercise.
Good luck with it and don't give up.

jennielou75 · 05/02/2017 16:20

I had bariatric surgery which helped me lose 10 stone. I have since put two stone back on after double foot surgery so I am back to the gym and pounding that treadmill. I found that generally people were too focused on there own training to care about anyone else. A couple of times when I pushed myself and left feeling extremely tomato, like death and knowing I would ache the next day I did have people say good work out to me which actually was quite nice as I felt like shit at that point!
I never thought I would like the gym but once you get used to the men sitting at the weights and grunting , the young women who can do planks for hours and the mirrors everywhere it's actually not that bad. Sometimes I go just for the people watching! Never make comments tho!

jennielou75 · 05/02/2017 16:24

Oh and sometimes I go just to move my body for an hour and it's raining outside! Yes it may not be peak exercise but walking at speed on a treadmill while watching the rugby is still better than sitting at home watching it. Oh and persevere with the cross trainer. I hated it and could only do a couple of minutes at first but now I do half an hour on the treadmill then half an hour on that. Just remember you are only competing with yourself no one else.

Original poster
gaspingwaythroughlife · 05/02/2017 16:26

That was exactly my logic this morning, jennie! Brilliant weight loss and wincing for you at the foot surgery - sounds painful!

OP posts:
frankie001 · 05/02/2017 16:30

OP keep at it!! I was unming and ahhing this morning about whether I should go today. You inspired me to go. I am also over weight and find it hard. I have to say, no one even looked at me!!