Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Exact 10% tip

169 replies

piginboots · 04/02/2017 20:41

Dp and I went out for dinner this evening. Food and service both good, nothing outstanding but no complaints either. Meal came to £33.20 and we agreed that I'd pay (by card), he would tip (in cash). He tipped £3.32 exactly. Imo this is rude and he should have rounded up. He (obviously) disagrees. Who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Roomster101 · 07/02/2017 13:25

Although I do usually tip I can see the arguments for not tipping, and I think that those who give 15% or more are just blindly following American tradition without giving it too much thought. In the 80s I always tipped unless service was terrible but I think things have changed in the UK since the NMW as earnings are effectively quite a bit higher considering it is a low skilled job and adequate outside of London.

Trainspotting1984 · 07/02/2017 13:26

Tipping is clearly becoming more common place/ the norm and it will be interesting to see how people anti tipping continue to justify it when it is, and whether they'll be happy to continually embarrass themselves in front of the people they're out with

As to why reasoning for tipping- what's the reasoning for saying please and thank you? It's a social construct. By not adhering to it you're displaying what society knows as bad manners. And you may find in 10 years it's accepted to be bad manners not to tip

treaclesoda · 07/02/2017 13:29

It's not really universally accepted as good manners though, is it? Considering that people who have worked as waiting staff keep saying that about half of people don't tip at all. If it were universally agreed to be good manners then almost everyone would do it, same as almost everyone says please and thank you and few people don't.

Trainspotting1984 · 07/02/2017 13:32

I was suggesting it will be in future

treaclesoda · 07/02/2017 13:32

Sorry, I misunderstood.

Roomster101 · 07/02/2017 13:34

Tipping is clearly becoming more common place/ the norm and it will be interesting to see how people anti tipping continue to justify it when it is, and whether they'll be happy to continually embarrass themselves in front of the people they're out with

I don't know how old you are but my experience is that people are less likely to tip now than in the 90s before the introduction of the NMW. Wages for restaurant jobs in the UK now compare favourably with other low skilled jobs and so people don't feel the need to supplement as they used to.

guest2013 · 07/02/2017 13:58

Saying please and thank you doesn't cost me anything. Giving 10% extra on top of a meal to someone who is paid perfectly fairly to do that job does.

guest2013 · 07/02/2017 14:13

Only on mumsnet is OK to call someone a wanker because they did tip but not the correct way. Ridiculous.

Trainspotting1984 · 07/02/2017 15:17

I'm 40 roadster. I am not sure, with all due respect, that your experience is really relevant? Who knows whether people tip more or less than they did before NMW?

However, considering all things go the way of the USA eventually, I am pretty confident that tipping will just become more and more prevalent.

KERALA1 · 07/02/2017 17:13

Ime people have always tipped. My parents did in the 80s, we did at university in the 90s and have done ever since. Dh always checks the staff get tips themselves if we paying on card if not we tip in cash - 10 % ish. Genuinely not come across non tipping

Roomster101 · 07/02/2017 17:25

I'm 40 roadster. I am not sure, with all due respect, that your experience is really relevant? Who knows whether people tip more or less than they did before NMW?

If you think that nobody knows whether people tip more or less now than they used to why did you state that "Tipping is clearly becoming more common place/ the norm" Are you basing that on personal experience? If so, why is yours more relevant than mine?

Trainspotting1984 · 07/02/2017 18:56

I'm not basing it on personal
Experience. I'm basing it on the knowledge that everything American catches on here eventually.

Roomster101 · 07/02/2017 20:09

Trainspotting1984 People have tipped in the UK for a few hundred years. The Americans took the tradition from us, not the other way around. Even if it was an American tradition originally, it's not something like prom nights or thanksgiving which people (mainly children/teenagers) watch in films/television and then decide to copy.

lurkeyishere · 07/02/2017 20:33

We where out the other night for a meal the food and service was really really good so good we wanted to tip the young lad 12 pound when he brought the card machiene he mentioned all tips paid by card went straight to the company not the staff we took it off I felt awful I only had 8 pound in my purse it was just barely the 10% He really did deserve more he worked his socks off we never had to wait to ask for another drink he was on the ball and came and asked just before they where empty.

Trainspotting1984 · 07/02/2017 20:37

Didn't say it was Roomster

Roomster101 · 07/02/2017 20:57

Trainspotting1984 If you don't think it is an American tradition, then why state that tipping will be more commonplace in the UK in the future because "everything that is American catches on here". It isn't American tradition. They may tip in higher quantities but that is because waiting staff receive very low salaries or no wage at all. That can't happen anymore in the UK due to NMW. Anyway, as I said even if it was an American tradition it isn't really something children/teenagers see in films and think it would be a good idea to copy like prom night.

karmassidekick · 07/02/2017 21:03

Waiting on is obviously seen as low skill but to do it well actually does take some skill. Obviously I wouldn't compare it to being a rocket scientist but it's more skilled than other service roles like a cashier.

shovetheholly · 08/02/2017 11:34

I agree with roomster - I've always seen it as a British tradition. The only places I wouldn't expect to tip are self-service restaurants e.g. McDonalds.

I don't see waiting as at all unskilled. Quite the reverse - at the highest level, it demands very high levels of social skill. The ability to cope with a lot of pressure and appear calm, the ability to read what's going on at a table and ensure people enjoy themselves, the ability to be attentive but not to hover, the ability to have eyes in the back of your head - these are things that most people can't do without some training. (Just look at the difference between highly drilled staff at a high-end restaurant and the difficulty you can sometimes have in catching someone's eye where there is less experience).

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 08/02/2017 12:36

Of course it's unskilled. Pull anyone off the street and within an hour the vast majority could wait tables. They couldn't necassarily do it well but they could do it. Saying it's unskilled does not devalue it. It just means that it requires very little training to do the basics of it. Same with cleaning, retail, caring, warehouse work. I have done all these jobs and required nothing more than some basic training to do them. I was only really good at caring (hence i went on to be a nurse) but I was still able to do the rest of the jobs.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page