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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Exact 10% tip

169 replies

piginboots · 04/02/2017 20:41

Dp and I went out for dinner this evening. Food and service both good, nothing outstanding but no complaints either. Meal came to £33.20 and we agreed that I'd pay (by card), he would tip (in cash). He tipped £3.32 exactly. Imo this is rude and he should have rounded up. He (obviously) disagrees. Who is being unreasonable?

OP posts:

KERALA1 · 07/02/2017 08:52

Genuine question to non tippers do the people you eat with not tip too or is it awkward?

shovetheholly · 07/02/2017 09:01

Kerala - I have to admit, I get judgey about people who don't tip. I will make up their tip if they walk out without leaving one, but I will definitely be thinking they are a wee bit lacking in generosity of purse and spirit. I think if you can afford to go out to dinner, you can afford to ensure that those who are serving you are getting a decent wage.

KERALA1 · 07/02/2017 09:06

I just cannot imagine the scenario - bill comes everyone puts in their amount factoring in tip and one couple says "we don't tip". In every social group I have been in ever from student to worker to mum friends etc this would be a cringeworthy moment. Cannot visualise it!

myfavouritecolourispurple · 07/02/2017 09:10

I think if you can afford to go out to dinner, you can afford to ensure that those who are serving you are getting a decent wage

If I run a restaurant that is full every night I can afford to pay my staff a decent wage. And share any tips and not pocket them myself.

I'm not keen on tipping via credit card because you are reliant on the management doing the right thing. But if you tip by cash there may be a kitty they have to put it all in and it may well get shared out less than fairly anyway.

I would prefer it if we did away with having to tip and the minimum wage was set at a decent level. That way, the staff get their fair share, and the management can't nick the tips. There was a consultation about this last year, but I imagine the government is a bit pre-occupied these days.

Sometimes you can't tip because the waiting staff will put in the amount of the meal and all you do is put in your PIN - then you kind of have to leave cash and if you don't have - you can't do it. I'm happy to tip waiting staff but I find it annoying to have to say tip someone who takes your case to your hotel room - I tend to say I can manage myself.

SherlockPotter · 07/02/2017 09:12

I very rarely tip unless the service has been exceptional, but at least round the tip up to £5!

treaclesoda · 07/02/2017 09:19

KERALA I have never been in a situation eating out in a group where I have any idea if anyone else has tipped or not, or how much they have tipped. What happens when I eat out in a group is always that the bill comes, and someone will look at it. And it will be 'well, that works out at £30 a head, but X didn't have any wine.' Then X says 'oh don't worry about it, I had a dessert and no one else did' . And there is much to-ing and fro-ing. And then eventually everyone comes to an agreement as to how much it is. So everyone throws their money in, some people get change, and then we count it and there is far too much. So some more people get change. And then we have about the right amount and people start throwing a few pound coins back into the pot for a tip, but not with any real calculating of percentages. And at some point whoever is gathering up the money will say 'oh, we have plenty now' . And that is that. No idea who has put in a tip and who hasn't.

mmgirish · 07/02/2017 09:33

I think he left a tip. Doesn't matter how much it was.

GooodMythicalMorning · 07/02/2017 10:23

If everyone else is I might leave something but we don't generally carry a lot of cash anyway.

user892 · 07/02/2017 10:27

A lot of restaurants don't even give the tips to the staff anyway - it's used for the running of the restaurant.

ArcheryAnnie · 07/02/2017 10:30

I'm sure the servers would much rather you came out and supported the business (and their job security) than felt embarrassed for not tipping hmm

The way I work it is - if I've got a tenner to spend in a cafe, then I include the tip in my calculations when I am deciding what to order.

You think that I (and pretty much all my friends and family) should stay at home if we can't afford to tip?

See above. It's not difficult.

I've done waitressing work. I didn't mind not getting tipped and didn't take it personally. I understand that some can't or won't tip - it's their prerogative.

I've done waitressing work, too. Tips kept me afloat, just. Yes, people can tip or not as they see fit, and I will think them a tightwad or not, as I see fit. It's my prerogative.

amusedbush · 07/02/2017 10:31

If I don't have change, I don't tip. If I do, I'll round up so £33.20 would be £35.

I don't really care if people think that's stingy - wait staff get a proper wage here! When I'm in the US, I tip at least 15%. The service is almost always outstanding there too as staff need tips to supplement their crap wage.

ArcheryAnnie · 07/02/2017 10:33

A lot of restaurants don't even give the tips to the staff anyway - it's used for the running of the restaurant.

user892 which is why I have supported the campaigns to get restaurants to be upfront with their customers about who gets the tips, and why I have supported my union in pushing for the same.

karmassidekick · 07/02/2017 10:37

10% or more is seen as generous in my stingy town where lots of people don't tip at all. As a waitress that wouldn't bother me in the slightest.
Annoying and tight is leaving 20p or a pound on a 50 or 60 pounds bill, I would rather have nothing in those circumstances, less than 2% is just rude.
To people saying oh the management or the restaurant take the tips, ask the wait staff and if they don't get the money don't tip.

FormerlyFrikadela01 · 07/02/2017 10:38

The whole tipping because they only get minimum wage pisses me off not only because try aren't the only ones on minimum wage but because my bil is a chef and has had a tip share in every single restaurant he's ever worked in and he certainly isn't only getting minimum wage.

user892 · 07/02/2017 10:39

Annie - employers are no longer allowed to use tips to supplement up to NMW. We don't (as a society) tip other NMW workers.

It's unnecessary and outdated in my opinion, especially for those who are on NMW themselves. It's a bit lord of the manor giving pennies to the peasants

It's perfectly acceptable these days to not tip. I'm not sure what planet a lot of you are on? As it's certainly not mine!

ArcheryAnnie · 07/02/2017 10:44

Well, you carry on being a tightwad if you want to, user892, and I'll carry on tipping. Each to their own.

user892 · 07/02/2017 10:49

Each to their own

Well, indeed. But I think it's ridiculous that you think a NMW earner should tip another NMW earner, just because they're a waitress.

And if that makes me a 'tightwad' who shouldn't go to restaurants if I can't afford the tip... I'm very glad to not be your friend. Your opinions are very hurtful.

ArcheryAnnie · 07/02/2017 10:53

And it was hurtful, user892, for you to call me "lord of the manor" when I am also a low wage earner. But I agree it probably is for the best that we will never know each other well enough to be sitting at the same cafe table when the bill comes.

user892 · 07/02/2017 10:57

Yes. I will be making my gruel at home with the rest of the plebs in any case.

BathshebaDarkstone · 07/02/2017 10:59

contortionist that appeals to my sense of fun, but why did you start doing that?

DaisyQueen · 07/02/2017 11:07

I usually pay by card and there is usually a 10% optional extra. I pay that gladly if the service has been good but I won't if it hasn't. I also tip taxi drivers when they help get the shopping to the door and such.

guest2013 · 07/02/2017 11:56

Why is it not acceptable to tip?
I can't see a valid argument for it other than its polite?!
As pp have said can a tipper please explain clearly why a NMW earner should have to tip another NMe earner? It makes absolutely no sense? Why are you doing it?

guest2013 · 07/02/2017 12:00

Sorry that should say not to tip in my first sentence.

user892 · 07/02/2017 12:09

I can't see a valid argument for it

Neither can I - other than it's tradition / customary / polite / horrible people judge you and call you names if you don't.

KERALA1 · 07/02/2017 13:00

Definitely with you archery. The "lord of the manor " "pleb and gruel" comments give the writer away as having a rather large chip on shoulder and inverse snobbery thing going on.

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