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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

...to want to keep my car?

73 replies

Splashingincuddles · 04/02/2017 14:14

I am on maternity leave and expecting our DD any day. We already have a DS who is 2.5. As a teacher I get pretty good maternity pay but this is going to decrease significantly as the weeks go on and we are also doing a lot of work on our house, which is costly. We live in a village in a fairly rural location (it is not walking distance to the nearest town/supermarket but we are on a bus route).

My DH has suggested that we run only one car while I'm not needing to commute to work - admittedly my car is old and does cost a lot to run and maintain - his is paid for using a company car allowance.

Are there any other mums who have done maternity leave with no car? I can walk/bus DS to preschool and I am not at all averse to going on a bus or train for a day out. I am also happy to do grocery shopping online. I just feel like I'm going to feel a little 'trapped' and will have to organise car sharing with military precision. I'm also envisaging a total nightmare when trying to manoeuvre and manhandle a pram/newborn and toddler onto a bus or train.

I'm wondering if I'm being totally unreasonable - is a car really necessary or is it a luxury when finances are tight? How have other car-less mums managed with small children?

OP posts:

BIWI · 04/02/2017 20:56

Assuming your car still functions - you keep it.

I don't think your DH has any idea of what it's going to be like for you on maternity leave, with two children to deal with.

RedBugMug · 04/02/2017 21:11

before deciding I would do sums:

costs of keeping the car (insurance, petrol, repairs)
cost of public transport
cost of occassional taxi
cost of car sharing scheme

Fig678 · 05/02/2017 22:41

Definitely not...we shared a car and I specifically bought another one for maternity leave! No way I'd do it without a car

EmeraldScorn · 05/02/2017 22:59

I think if you give up your car you will regret it massively. If I was you I would refuse to agree and instead look at other ways to cut back!

EmeraldIsland · 05/02/2017 23:18

I had ds1 before i'd passed my test. I found maternity leave bloody miserable tbh...yes there was the bus but it was such a faff with a pram I tended to not bother. Complete lack of freedom and led to me feeling trapped and bored.

I'd passed my test before ds2 and the difference in the small things - being able to nip out to get a pint of milk without planning a 30 minute walk - was amazing.

No way would I do without a car!

Huldra · 06/02/2017 07:42

I live in a large town and could manage without a car but still I loved having one on maternity leave.

How much would you realistically save a month from getting rid of the car? Is it needing lots of immediate work, or large road tax bill coming up, or is it just heavy on petrol? If the later then buses may not work out much cheaper. Selling may give a quick cash injection but you will need to get a a new car before your maternity leave ends, won't you need the cash from the sale for a deposit?

Mouikey · 06/02/2017 07:49

I'm on mat leave and we run only one car. We live in a village in a rural area but there is a train station and an irregular bus service...

DONT GET RID OF THE SECOND CAR!!!!!

We find it difficult (but manage) with the one car, but I wish we had two. My hubby uses the train to get to work so I can get out and about with baby (groups, Drs, occasional hospital appointment, friends houses, lunch dates etc). But this means he gets in really late, leaves early and walks over 2.5 hours every day.

We have used the train but it's hard as we cant physically get to one of the platforms if we are using the pushchair! This means a long train journey north to go south!

We do get by and my hubby doesn't mind but it is a massive pita... although I love saying we are a one car household because it is not normal around these here parts!!!

wettunwindee · 06/02/2017 07:56

I didn't and wouldn't want to. The thing is you have to cut your cloth to suit. If you can't afford to run two then you can't and need to think about if the cost is worth it. They are a luxury and so having one will likely come at the expense of something else: perhaps a holiday. If you think it's a fair compromise then there's your answer.

I have no idea why people are asking what your DH will be giving up as this seems to be completely missing the point. Probably willfully as is the norm on AIBU.

Mysterycat23 · 06/02/2017 08:10

If you own your car outright surely the only costs are insurance, road tax and fuel. Any maintenance cost should be minimal if it's old and you are just doing the work required at mot. If it's not worth much now just run it into the ground. Especially if you will only use it for short runs to supermarket and nursery etc. It should last quite a while?

Check bus and train fares and the amount of time taken including waiting around at the bus stop or train station. Often public transport is much more expensive than you might think and just a couple of trips a week adds up. Also the inconvenience of waiting around outside in the cold for a bus which may be 20 mins or even an hour late is no fun at all.

If you own the car outright I would keep it absolutely.

picklemepopcorn · 06/02/2017 08:13

How much would it actually save? The car isn't depreciating, so it is tax and insurance for a year. The cost of taxis and buses is higher than the cost of petrol for the same journey.

You will need to get to doctors appointments, possibly in a hurry. How frequent is the bus, how convenient is the doctors?

My area, the bus is less often than once an hour, the doctors surgery is not on the same route. I wouldn't be without a car.

Original poster

Splashingincuddles · 07/02/2017 15:45

Thank you all for your responses, opinions and experiences. You have given us a lot to think about. I have spent the last few days focusing on how I'm using my car and I know it would be extremely difficult to get about. The doctors' surgery is in the next village and the bus runs half-hourly, which isn't ideal. Going to hospital would require two buses and a train. You all make some good points about what we'd actually save - a return bus fare into the town is over £5.

My car isn't worth much but selling it would provide some cash for the renovations. It uses a lot of petrol, MOT is due in June and road tax is in a high band (£200+). It is depreciating quickly and has a lot of miles on it now (which proves how much I do use my car I suppose!)

DH thinks that me not having a car would encourage GPs to visit us as opposed to us going there, which is what generally happens now. However, our parents do a day's childcare each for us and I like to make this as easy for them as possible - it's free childcare!

Once this baby comes I think it will become obvious how necessary a car is where we live, and DH and I will find a good compromise. I can't bear the thought of negotiating who is using the car when, and how long I'll be out, and where/when we'll hand over, and so on..... I know a lot of people don't have the choice but for me, this would be a nightmare!

OP posts:

BikeRunSki · 07/02/2017 15:50

I'm rural and have 2 DC. I totally agree with:

No way would i be without a car on mat leave. It's hard enough getting out the house with a baby and toddler without then having to factor in fitting into a set timetable for travel. I know some people have to but I love the freedom being able to drive gives me and would give up a lot before I got rid of my car.

jcne · 07/02/2017 15:56

uhhhhh you are only running one car if his is company funded ☝🏼

no. way. josé. is what i would be telling DH. or i would want to know what he was sacrificing for the good of the family finances 😀

littledinaco · 07/02/2017 15:58

Could you say to DH that you'll trial it for a month. So, on his work days when he doesn't need the car, you have the car. He'll need to take time off/finish early for any doctors appointments, etc.

It sounds good from his point of view but he's not the one without the car. If it impacted him, he might reconsider.

You only get one maternity leave, if it was me I'd want to enjoy it fully, not be stressed waiting in the cold/rain, etc for buses.

ExplodedCloud · 07/02/2017 15:59

I think if you're a car owning woman who's used to an income and a career, maternity leave is enough of a change without adding in losing your car. Getting a sick dc to the GP, nipping out to retrieve a forgotten toy, all sorts of jobs that can take up hours on public transport.
I'd at least wait until you've actually had the baby and then try it for a week or two in the rain and cold before you do anything rash.

Frouby · 07/02/2017 16:01

I did 6 months without a car and with a newborn and 9 yo dd.

Dp borrowed it for work and blew it up. To be fair we knew it had an issue but it was fine for me to tootle around in.

Anyway. It was awful. The weather was shite at the time. Ds hated the pram and would scream so I used the sling an awful lot. Buses to town were every 30 minutes and we weren't rural but I still hated not having the car to just nip places. Plus it meant all the chores were crammed into the weekend which dp hated but seeing as I had no car I refused to try and get shit done like pick up parcels or do the food shopping on buses and in taxis.

As soon as we had the money my car was replaced.

Graphista · 07/02/2017 16:09

"Could you say to DH that you'll trial it for a month. So, on his work days when he doesn't need the car, you have the car. He'll need to take time off/finish early for any doctors appointments, etc. "

I was about to suggest this.

I've managed fine without a car for several years but only one dc. Ultimately it's up to you. Given you're in a rural location with a toddler and soon a newborn you need to know what your local public transport is like (including costs) it will also give you a realistic idea of how it'll work, how often you end up paying out for taxis which is expensive.

NickyEds · 07/02/2017 16:21

So how much a month does your car actually cost you? Do you really need that money?

I think it's hard to give up a car when you've always had one. I don't drive (neither does dp) and to me the costs involved seem extortionate! We have an 18 month old anda 3 year old and live in a semi rural village (6 minutes drive, 10 minutes bus ride, 30 minutes walk from our nearest town). I'm thinking of starting driving lessons now as pretty soon the double buggy will be out grown but up to now it's been fine. I find that we tend to have longer days out than my friends who drive, so we set off out for the day as nipping home is harder but I don't think it's been very hard at all and we obviously walk far more than most of our mates.

BreezyThursday · 07/02/2017 16:38

I had to give up driving when pregnant and now rely on walking or public transport when OH not around (he takes car to work). I am aware of things which I could do at the drop of a hat IF I could drive there, but all-in-all have got used to it (admittedly I don't really like driving and think we have as a society got too used to private cars). Most frustrating is that now DC is too big for first car seat I can't easily get a lift with a friend who's going to the same place - so instead sometimes can't go.

If it's entirely financial, why not just try and cut down on journeys - you say you use a lot of petrol - as a test? Do online shopping, go to town on bus and save car for emergencies. Buses and trains can be entertainment in themselves for kids who don't normally take them; save the car for emergencies and hospital.

StrongerThanIThought76 · 07/02/2017 16:40

Don't do it.
By all means leave it on the drive if you can - you can bus around to school/shops etc. But when baby is asleep or mid-feed or fills their nappy just when you're getting ready to leave to catch the bus (and they will fill their nappy, and it'll be a real corker), you will find that you NEED to jump in the car.

Your old banger might cost a bit to run, but you own it outright. When you work out the cost of bus fares (two return tickets for the nursery run alone) it might well work out more than fuel and running costs.

Don't get stuck at home without transport, it's awful

BIWI · 07/02/2017 17:18

Unless they're absolutely essential - e.g. you have no roof - I'd put a halt to to the renovations until you're back at work. Then you can use that money either to run your car or to buy a new one.

Have you investigated interest-free loans? Lots of car companies offer these.

jay55 · 07/02/2017 19:13

If anything goes wrong you will not be wanting to get 2 under 5s to doctors or hospital on the bus.

FeliciaJollygoodfellow · 07/02/2017 19:18

I had no car and had three year old twins plus newborn. BUT I live very centrally in town, and have everything either a 15 minute bus ride or ten minute walk away so it was no hardship.

If I lived rurally then no fucking way.

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