to think that MN has been ruined by the Fail

[JigglyTuff]

It's become hun-tastic *

"Well, that's what men are like! I don't know why you can't just get right back to cooking and cleaning immediately after giving birth - it's what I did!"

"I would never leave my child alone, even for two minutes, until they were at least 16. Better safe than sorry!"

"She's a bitch" "Slapper"

"I don't care if he does have SN. Hit him back! That'll teach him!"

• not actual quotes

I used to come her for intelligent and witty conversation. It was fun, it was invigorating. It made me think and it made me smile.

But right now, my local town facebook page, where most posters find it hard to string more than three words together, seems fairly erudite in comparison.

What's happened?! :(

Prompto that's a good idea about the control to prevent namechanging within a thread. I struggle to think of any well-intentioned reason that anyone would need to use more than one name on a single thread.

I do however appreciate the anonymity that comes with being able to change names sometimes.

I think there's a bit of "looking back through rose tinted spectacles" that goes on. MN has always had its nasty elements. Indeed shortly after I first joined about 7 years ago I decided to take a very long break from it because it didn't feel like the right place to be when I was having a difficult time. I continue to dip in and out and have breaks from it sometimes. It can get a bit much.

Yes worra I've been down the Ship Inn and all those numbers are too much for my little brain to take in.
Bleddy stupid idea !

I've been on here ages under different guises, and don't think it has.
When I saw the headline and clicked on your post I thought you were going to say that it's been ruined by the DM as people don't feel free to post things as much due to the fact they're always lifted for the paper and was going to agree with you.
To say it's been ruined from an influx of "hun" posters though?! Nope, not seen that.
Are you conflating the idea of poor grammar/spelling with different views to your own (eg) such as "I would never leave my child alone until the age of 16!" as that would be totally unreasonable if so.
Two totally different things. Yes, I like to come here as I'm a spelling and grammar pedant and hun type text spk hurts my eyes and brain.
Holding different views, though? That's surely a good thing. The way I see it it opens people's eyes to other ways of thinking and the other viewpoint and that can only be a good thing.

Handmaidenry is the only thing that really pisses me off. Especially when a potentially vulnerable OP has had a whole page of that bollocks before anyone sensible has turned up by which point they don't always respond. I had that first time I ever posted (in AIBU ) the 'advice' -new arsehole i got torn-- was appalling, I didn't know any better at the time and actually acted on what they said!

Yes to the increase in handmaidenry, and the 'that's just what men are like' stuff.
Some threads do take an increasingly bizarre turn; someone posts something innocuous about parking, then five pages on there's an almighty bunfight going on. It makes me wonder how did it get from A to B.
I do like the term 'bitchplop'.

Portia I can't remember my own phone number and I've had it for nearly 4 years

I've been here years and even I've been shocked by some comments lately. I'm putting it down to pregnancy though.

Dittoworra I've got a landline and a mobile and can't remember either

I don't think I said anything about poor SPAG did I glitter? If I implied it, it wasn't what I meant. Just that MN seems very dumbed down at the moment.

And I do agree with with you wonder that I'm looking back through rose-tinted spectacles to a degree. I've been here more than 10 years and there have certainly been some brilliant developments - FWR for one - but I'm probably a bit jaded by the same threads over and over again (eg what should I pack in my hospital bag? )

I'm retiring with my cocoa now - perhaps everything will seem better in the morning ;)

There must have been a thread about how Mumsnet is not the same anymore at least every quarter since I've been on here!

With regards to the ' handmaidenry'

That doesn't piss me off at all because the one thing I've (thankfully) read time and time again on MN, is posters saying this forum has changed their views/outlook with regards to their relationships.

Often, it's not until someone points out that a woman is getting a raw deal, that she actually stops to think about it and realises it's actually the case.

I'm willing to bet there are loads of long term Mumsnetters who at one point, would have been considered a 'hand maiden', until the power of Mumsnet made them see sense.

So rather than get pissed off, I think it's better to question their thought process and see if they too, will eventually change it.

What's handmaidenery please?

Kr1stina

"HandMaidenFuckingCentralNet"

'Twas I.

I keep nearly flouncing and then women with brains appear to stop me

I don't read the Fail or see the Wright Stuff, is it the handmaiden stuff they like?

Seriously though, I sometimes think if one person LTB because of being told what's what - I think we need a sticky thread that explains "he's angry because his machine is malfunctioning, please set yourself free and have a happy life" - then it was worth posting. I'm not sure.

OK, what's handmaidenry?

Bunny

I think name comes from Margaret Atwood's book The Handmaid's Tale. It means a woman who isn't enlightened about feminism. Thinks women are there to serve men, boost their egos, basically.

Well the use of the term handmaiden pisses me off. It's one of the less useful words used on here... an insult that you can chuck out... the people it's directed to will know they've been insulted but won't gain anything helpful from it. What a missed opportunity to show people a different viewpoint, instead they're alienated and likely to dismiss anything else that person says. Furthermore, it's lazy shorthand for dismissing other people's views instead of properly challenging them. I'm pretty sure that most of the people using the term are smart enough to engage in a more intelligent, comprehensible way instead of using archaic, little known language. Rant over

I kivked my exh out years ago so I am not a hand maiden I am me.

Thanks, Yoda :-)

What you describe is less to do with the Fail and more to do with the fact the site is just much bigger than it used to be.

The fail doesn't help because a lot of longer term posters have been put off posting because of it. But I think generally - a lot of the "old crowd" have moved on or have less time to post or less interest - perhaps DC grown up or just feel like they've discussed buggies on buses and breastfeeding in public and grapes in the supermarket a hundred times over and there's nothing new to add. A huge influx of newer posters who were never aware of the older "rules" (tongue in cheek though they were, there was always a posting style) and participate on more threads, which of course they have every right to do, the older posters aren't around as much and are less numerous in comparison means that the "voice" of the site changes.

You still get the mumsnet feel coming through occasionally. And yes these threads have been going on bloody years (Moldies, anyone??) but there is a different feel these days in general.

The only way to fix it is to stubbornly stick around and post more

You're not thick for not knowing what handmaidenry is meant to mean. In fact I would like to thank you for helping to demonstrate that it's a crap word to use in a chat forum when you could be helping someone to see things from another point of view. Chucking the term around does absolutely crap all to help with "enlightenment".

Handmaiden is short for handmaiden of the patriarchy. AKA a woman doing the patriarchy's work for them.

Wondermoomin, perfectly put.

What's the point in insulting 'unenlightened' women, rather than trying to enlighten them?

I get that some posters might be tired of it, but if that's the case just move on and ignore.

Insults are only going to make that woman defensive.

Wonder, I used it because of posters saying stuff about how men can't be expected to run a household, even just basic little tasks. I honestly said it thinking it was a fair comment on their point of view. Given the things that were being said - obvs can't start a TAAT- I think there was no hope of getting them to change those views. Where there's hope, I do try and put forward other ideas.

an insult that you can chuck out... the people it's directed to will know they've been insulted but won't gain anything helpful from it. What a missed opportunity to show people a different viewpoint, instead they're alienated and likely to dismiss anything else that person says. Furthermore, it's lazy shorthand for dismissing other people's views instead of properly challenging them.

Yes, completely agree with this.
As I said Holding different views, though? That's surely a good thing. The way I see it it opens people's eyes to other ways of thinking and the other viewpoint and that can only be a good thing.

X post
"Unenlightened" would probably also be seen as insult by someone who believes a man cannot do simple household tasks.