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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect DH to eat 4 mars bars, 2 cream eggs, glucose tablets some caramel dairy milk, and drink coke and lucosdae!

68 replies

LowFatMilkshake · 26/02/2007 20:56

Right am getting so annoyed by DH that I need a reality check from all of you please.

DH is underweight by about 2 stone. He has a physical job that sees him up at 4am, and getting home at 1pm latest. When he gets up he has a coffee and then a chocolate biscuit (penguin or similar) while at work. When he gets home he has a bowl of cereal, sometime some toast, hot cross bun or crumpets. He spends a couple of hours playing with DC's and doing odd jobs around the house. Then I send him for a 2 to 2.5 hour sleep. He gets up in time for tea and I always fill him with lots of carbs, spuds, pasta, couscous etc. the we do washing up get kids ready for bed and are settled down with a coffee by about 7.30-8pm.

I am currently on maternity leave, so in June he wont get an afternoon sleep anymore as he will have two DC's to look after etc while I work in the afternoons.

Anyway, this evening after tea time (tea was a pasta dish) he had hoovered and was coming up for story time when he went dizzy. He sat restng for about an hour and a half but felt no better. He thinks it is a sugar problem (he has a realy fast metabolism), so I went round to the shop and bought: 2 Mars Duos, 3 Cream eggs, Large Bottle of Coke, 2 packets of Lucosdae Glucose tablets, 2 bottles of lucosade sport and large bar of caramel Dairymilk. He ate one Mars Duo and said he felt better! Now after my pilgramige I think he should have eaten at least an egg as well and some glucose tablets. Anyway I bullied him and he managed to drink some lucosade as well.

I have made sure he has plenty for work tomorrow so he can take chocolate and glucose with him. But here I sit getting all worried and he claims to be feeling better after just one mars duo

He kows why I feel so worried. I have lost both parents and feel very insecured about the health of my loved ones. Not to mention in the past he has said he felt dizzy, had a nose bleed and then collapsed!!

Am I being unreasonable for wanting him to eat more?

No he wont go to the doctor as he is bl**dy stubborn, darling, prescios to me, ass of a DH !!

OP posts:
PrincessD · 26/02/2007 21:36

Has your dh ever had his blood sugar tested? One of the signs of probs can be tiredness, excess thirst and sometimes losing weight. Slow releasing (low gi) foods are best for balancing this - wholegrains, oats, sweetpotatoes/baby potatoes are better than mash etc.

Original poster
LowFatMilkshake · 26/02/2007 21:37

PCBA - he says he has no time to eat at work!

Sod it! I am going to make him a cheese sandwich for work tomorrow - I dont have anything else in at the mo and he wont take the thermos so it's all I can do, but it's a start.

He's always on about getting DD in to good eating habits - well it works both ways!

OP posts:
Aloha · 26/02/2007 21:39

Remember the banana!

Then phone him on his mobile at 7am and say, 'remember you have a sandwich and a banana'. Have a lunch ready for him if you are worried about his eating - not just for him, but for all of you to sit down together and eat at 1pm.

Original poster
LowFatMilkshake · 26/02/2007 21:39

Dont really want to put DH job as it will identify us. However he goes in to an office for about 3 hours to prepare for his work, and is then out and about on bike and foot until home time! Well if you can't guess fro that anyway!!!!

OP posts:
fireflyfairy2 · 26/02/2007 21:42

Can't you make him some toast instead of crisps? Or a bowl of fruit? Porridge?

So much sweet stuff & junk food won't help his health, it will just make him gain weight.

Aloha · 26/02/2007 21:43

I am staggered anyone thinks this man is eating a lot or has fast metabolism. He is eating a very low calorie (and even lower nutrition) diet.

fireflyfairy2 · 26/02/2007 21:44

Oh I don't think he is eating a lot, just not healthily.

bristols · 26/02/2007 21:47

Skinny people have fast metabolisms because they burn what they eat more quickly, then start to burn their fat reserves. People with a slow metabolism are the big ones because of the opposite.

Sorry cod.....

Bozza · 26/02/2007 21:48

DH same height and weight and age and eats fairly normally although not huge portions - same as me. ie he has a bowl of branflakes in a morning, takes two cheese sandwiches (baps) and an apple to work, sometimes raids machine at work, has a cooked dinner in the evening (spag bol, chop/pots/veg, risotto etc) sometimes followed by fruit, sometimes by pudding, and other times nothing. He drinks very little alcohol. He does not have dizzy spells etc, but eats reasonable meals spaced through the day (breakfast at 7.15, lunch at 12, dinner at 6).

Aloha · 26/02/2007 21:49

Not true. Endless tests have shown that in people of the same weight, metabolism varies very little indeed. But the bigger you are the faster your metabolism, just as you use more fuel to heat a big house, or more petrol to fuel a big car.
people's appetites and food preferences vary, as do their levels of activity, but metabolism, thyroid and other disorders aside, tend to be pretty similar.

zippitippitoes · 26/02/2007 21:50

don't let him eat that stuff he will be ill..

you want slow burning stuff low gi diet

he will get dreadful blood sugar highs and lows with sweets like that..signs being dizziness, sweats and confusion

bristols · 26/02/2007 21:50

He needs to get to the docs to be tested for diabetes. I know that getting a man to go to the docs is about as easy as getting blood from a stone.

Original poster
LowFatMilkshake · 26/02/2007 21:51

Just want to clarify - the horrendus list at the title is tonight only, and is a result of me panicking and wondering what to do.

I have made him cheese sandwiches for tomorrow and he has promised to take them as well as bananas once they arrive. I have also said I will make a good lunch from now on for all of us (at least while I am mat leave), and I will plan what to do for when I go back to work. I just had a little breakdown in the kitchen and I think he realised how much he has worried me, so has promised to make an effort to eat more sensible food. After insisting he looks forward to his bowl of frosties after work, but has agreed to add more to his daily intake.

OP posts:
bristols · 26/02/2007 21:51

Aloha - I stand corrected

Aloha · 26/02/2007 21:53

In type 1 diabetes, symptoms tend to develop rapidly, over a couple of weeks, and are more severe. In type 2 diabetes, symptoms develop slowly and are usually milder.

Common symptoms of both types of diabetes are:

increased thirst
passing water frequently, especially at night
tiredness and fatigue
loss of weight
genital itching or recurrent thrush

Doesn't sound LFM's dh has those symptoms to me.

Aloha · 26/02/2007 21:54

Sounds much more sensible LFM! He could even - gasp! - make his own sandwiches

Original poster
LowFatMilkshake · 26/02/2007 21:55

Correct Aloha - all he has is tiredness. he is quite healthy apart from these little episodes, he can shake of colds in just a day or so, and has never needed to go to the GP for anyting (other than this)

OP posts:
Original poster
LowFatMilkshake · 26/02/2007 21:57

One step at a time Aloha- he could faint this time from shock

OP posts:
themildmanneredjanitor · 26/02/2007 21:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bozza · 26/02/2007 22:04

I don't think he would really have to get up half hour early to have a bowl of cereal in a morning. It doesn't take even my 2yo that long. He just can't be bothered and I know how he feels because on the days I work I don't have anything (just juice) until I get to work when I buy two slices of brown toast.

WestCountryLass · 26/02/2007 22:06

Not sure what others have said but he seems to be eating a lot of refined carbohydrates and sugars and could/should perhaps replace these with wholegrains and more protein.

Get up - Coffee and cereal
Mid-morning - Banana, cereal bar
Lunch - Wholemeal toast/jacket pot, scrambled/boiled eggs/beans.
Tea - Wholemeal pasta/brown rice, cous cous etc with meat/fish or lentils/beans if veggy.

Plus if he is underweight, maybe a top of of build-up drink as well.

Out of interst, has he had his blood sugar levels tested?

Original poster
LowFatMilkshake · 26/02/2007 22:07

WCL - as mentioned lower down the sweets are just really a one-off tonight as I was in a panic!

OP posts:
WestCountryLass · 26/02/2007 22:27

It's not so much those sweets as no one could possibly eat them all in? one sitting could they? But having Penguins and crumpets/hot cross buns for the first 9 hours of his day is unbalanced.

If no time for cereal, maybe a healthy cereal bar? And snacks he can carry with
him? Hollanad and Barret have a good range

snowleopard · 26/02/2007 22:36

He could just be unhealthy because of his awful diet, but he could conceivably have diabetes, thyroid problem or be coeliac - so he does need to go to the doctor. Could you mention these things in a calm moment and say you would like him to go, for you, just the once and you will stop nagging? Or alternatively one strategy I sometimes use with DP is to say goodhumouredly "if you do not do x I am going to nag you on the hour, every hour until you do" and do it (for really annoying stuff like failing to sort out our childcare vouchers with his employer - after 6 months of waiting I did this and it worked in 1 day).

High-calorie but less unhealthy foods he could have are avocado, hummus and nuts.

misdee · 26/02/2007 22:38

just reading the OP if he eats all that he will have abig sugar boost then a dramatic drop/slump and will feel worse.