Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask, do I ask the parents for money?

84 replies

BrightonBelleCat · 03/02/2017 10:28

I've booked for dd and a couple of her mates to go to this convention thing for her birthday. I've paid for the tickets and will take them up there by train, which I will also pay for.

Do I ask the parents to provide lunches, or is it assumed I will pay for the lunches as well.

I need to budget for this well in advance (am skint) so would you/do I?

OP posts:
FeelingSmurfy · 03/02/2017 11:04

I always take food to conventions anyway, they have lots of places to get food but it's always rammed for a few hours around lunchtime, so it's better to get your own and find a quiet spot against a wall to sit down

You could put together a cheap lunch or ask the friends to bring their own.

greenfolder · 03/02/2017 11:05

i would send dc with money. I would say- we'll pop into maccies or subway so please send a fiver. at secondary age that would be far more appropriate than taking a packed lunch.

youngestisapsycho · 03/02/2017 11:06

Family and friends railcards are 20% off at the moment... or you can get one if you have Tesco vouchers.

NeedMoreSleepOrSugar · 03/02/2017 11:16

I wouldn't mind sending money/ a lunch but I would expect the parent to say so in advance if that was their plan for the day.

youngestisapsycho · 03/02/2017 11:19

I would just say to them that you've paid the tickets and train fares, could they please send their child with some money for lunch. It wouldn't bother me if asked.

BigSandyBalls2015 · 03/02/2017 11:20

Is it in London - if so just find something cheap, lots of offers around at the moment. Pick up a copy of the Metro at the station - vouchers for mcdonalds, subway, burger king

BigSandyBalls2015 · 03/02/2017 11:21

If she struggles socially I wouldn't take a packed lunch, not with secondary age kids.

MistyMeena · 03/02/2017 11:24

Also if you have a railcard there are deals on restaurants to be had. Look at the national railcard page for info.

welovepancakes · 03/02/2017 11:34

I think reasonable to ask them to provide a packed lunch, but if you're going to a cafe, you should pay

ArcheryAnnie · 03/02/2017 11:35

It's fine to ask for a packed lunch.

And DEFINITELY get a family and friends railcard. With one it's usually cheaper to travel with a child than travel alone!

SummitLove · 03/02/2017 11:39

Depending on number of mates - I'd do maccas or other fast-food joint, or, take a bunch of sandwiches for packed lunches.

I'm not too comfortable with social situations though so this would be more because I wasn't sure how to ask the parents IYKWIM.

WeddingsAreStressful · 03/02/2017 11:41

To be on the safe side, I'd say you should provide the lunch because you're the one inviting them. If it were a birthday party, you would be providing food anyway. Most parents would send their kids with lunch money but some won't.

JustSpeakSense · 03/02/2017 11:42

My DD went to a similar event for a friends birthday recently.

The mum took packed lunches for them (DD got a text the night before asking if she'd like ham, cheese or tuna sandwiches made for her, so they knew what to expect)

Birthday girl said 'my mums packing lunch for us you can you bring some spending money for sweets etc if you like'

SingingInTheRainstorm · 03/02/2017 11:45

I would say I've bought the tickets, pad fr travel, can you make sure your DC has enough money saved to get lunch and any extra for stuff she might want to buy.
You've fulfilled your obligation with the tickets and travel which I'm guessing wasn't cheap. It's not BU at all to expect some sort of contribution. You might want to look at places near the venue to eat, as food inside the venue will be basic and over priced. That way you can say, thought about going here for lunch, is this ok with everyone else? Or were you thinking about a packed lunch to eat to save money?

TheEternalForever · 03/02/2017 11:46

If you haven't said anything to them they'll probably assume you're buying lunch but I think it's fine to ask them to send a lunch if you let them know in plenty of time so they can prepare. I'm sure they won't make a fuss if you're paying for everything else. I like the suggestion upthread of saying "I was thinking of taking the girls/boys/children for a picnic, could you all send them along with some bits and bobs for everyone to share/so that everyone gets something they like/so that I know dietary restrictions are catered for/whatever other reason you can think of. Thanks!".

MirandaWest · 03/02/2017 11:48

When I took DD and two friends for a day out for her birthday, I paid for everything. I wouldn't hold a birthday party and expect other parents to pay for a meal then.

derxa · 03/02/2017 11:49

I would think it odd.

diddl · 03/02/2017 11:53

I think that most would assume lunch is provided.

Would it be too much to pack a lunch up for everyone?

If so though I'm sure parents won't mind as you are already doing so much.

Joanna0685 · 03/02/2017 11:58

I agree with cestlavielife, just make some sandwiches, maybe crisps and yogurts plus a drink. It does not sound a big party so wouldn't be very expensive I hope you all have a great day.

CripsSandwiches · 03/02/2017 12:00

I would just put together a cheap picnic for all the girls. Although if someone asked me to provide a packed lunch I wouldn't be offended.

MuddlingMackem · 03/02/2017 12:06

Hmm, if you were doing a day out to say a country house or something, then I'd expect you to provide lunch, either buying or picnic. However, a day out to a convention, or even a theme park, it's so much easier if everyone just brings their own packed lunch. It means if they're a bit peckish they can snack without having to ask the host for stuff. If you're all going to be queuing for different guests or talks or what not it will make life so much simpler if they each bring their own bag with their own lunch.

However, if my kids were invited to something like that I'd put them up a packed lunch without being prompted because packed lunches are our norm for those kinds of days out. :)

peukpokicuzo · 03/02/2017 12:06

I think if you have invited someone to a birthday celebration then you have to provide any food and drink required as part of that celebration. It's OK to have a party that doesn't overlap with a normal mealtime and just offer snacks but if they will be with you for a mealtime then I think it's up to the hosts to provide food. If it is a whole day out and they would be with you for lunch and tea then it's not unreasonable to ask for the parents to provide money or food for the second meal.

AllTheBabies · 03/02/2017 12:08

If I wasn't told any different id assume you'd be sorting lunch but I would absaloutly not mind making my dd a packed lunch if you asked/put it on the invitations.

zzzzz · 03/02/2017 12:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MTWTFSS · 03/02/2017 12:24

Packed lunch. Children can be so fussy.