Commutes

[Peaches77]

How long a commute do you think is feasible for a single mum.

Applying for a job 40 miles away so 80 miles driving a day x 5 days a week

Aibu for considering this

Nope not if you have support. I'm considering doing the same after mat leave but only because DH and DM are nearby in case DC's are ill.

Should add though that I'd be returning to my old job. It's absolutely knackering though all that driving and you can't ever be sure what time you will get home. As long as that doesn't matter then go for it.

How long would it take you to drive the 40 miles? Up to one hour is fine, 2h would be too long for me.

It should be just over an hour to drive the 40miles just 400 miles a week is a little daunting

Depends on age of kids, childcare arrangements, support from friends and family if bad traffic etc etc.

DC will be 3 childcare with grandparents after nursery

Yanbu

What are you used to?
Have you tried the drive in rush hour? My 10 mile commute is taking an he at the moment
Previously my 40 mile commute was v unpredictable
Being late in my job isn't a problem as I just stay late etc but in some jobs it would be

Also cost of fuel don't underestimate it!

Can grandparents fetch child from nursery if ill, attend futute school events etc?

It'd be too far for me, especially when called away by nursery or school, but if you have able grandparents who can help with appointments illnesses etc then fine.

I did this for 2 years ( Clapham to Farnborough). Took an hour each way- sometimes a bit longer in the evening. It was ok but a shag at the end of a tiring day. I quite liked having my own 'space' though vs. getting the train into the city.

It is doable. Am not a single parent but have that commute and two dc under four. It is a big time commitment and if I could find a job as enjoyable but closer I probably would. Would not do it for a job I didn't love. It can be quite draining and is pretty much two wasted hours each day. I do a motorway spell and its very unpredictable so you need childcare back up plans.

I also get to work from home occasionally which helps loads.

Would also consider the types of roads you travelling on. Ime this can make a big difference to how draining the experience is.

I have had a 1 hour commute in the past that consisted of 11 mins (sad I know that I remember this) on a super fast autobahn and the rest was spent crawling in a snake of traffic through a really badly congested town. I used to quite enjoy the town part of the journey- radio on and slurping from travel mug at every set of lights. I used to get work feeling fairly chilled.

More recently I did a 6 month once a week commute that was virtually all a two lane autobahn for 45 minutes and I found that far more draining and stressful.

If you get as far as interviews practice the journey during what would be your working hours. Good luck with the job hunting.

I think with the fact that your parents are picking your child up from nursery so it's fine

You won't be in trouble if the traffic is paid with late fees either

bad

I used to do a 25 mile commute that took about 40 minutes (mixture of city roads and motorway). I would try the commute at different times to see how the traffic varies. Can the grandparents pick up the children if they're poorly etc?

My commute is about 32 miles one way, costs £200 a month (along with normal car use), depending on the route I take it can take 45 minutes (back roads, no queueing traffic, probably impassible in the snow) to over an hour depending on the traffic. I've been doing it for 13 years so it's doable but I'm resentful haha.
Can't/won't move for family reasons.

depends
-if you have support (not all lone parents are the same)
-how long it takes (quick 1h drive on the motorway or does it take much longer? - have you tested the route during your commuting times? this may make a huge difference.)
-how much you earn. you will spend a lot on petrol. affordable?
-what kind of job? there are jobs I wouldn't commute for

I used to do this as a single mom but I worked shifts so 3/4 days I wouldn't be driving at rush hour as my mom would pick up. The day I had to get back to pick DS up from nursery was always stressful because sometimes it could take me over 2 hours to get home and I was late to pick him up on occasion. If you don't have to worry about nursery pick up I think it's perfectly doable.

Depends what the commute is - mine takes two hrs ish

I do a similar commute and it takes me 45mins door to door on free flowing roads. If I went in rush hour though, it'd be more like 1-1.5hrs of aggressive wankers.

Have you considered the possibility/logistics of working slightly adjusted hours to get you travelling outside the peak - 8-4, 10-6, that kind of thing? Or even more extreme if childcare can cope - 7-3? It makes a HUGE difference to your mental state if the commute is easy.

I commuted 36 miles each way for a long time, I hated it but got on and did it - traffic was horrible though

Now I'm about 15 likes and it's so much better

Miles not likes

This sounds ok in the summer but not on a dark winter's night when it might be icy or snowing - or just raining a lot.

I have recently changed jobs but used to do a 40 mile commute each way. It's very doable if the roads are decent. Trouble comes when you get held up or need to work late, a small thing can have a big knock on effect and it makes planning to do things at a certain time in the evening difficult because the further you drive the more potential there is to get held up. It never really bothered me though, got me into classic fm for which I am eternally thankful