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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Stressed, upset, pregnant.

63 replies

Justsayin2889 · 02/02/2017 19:20

I'm literally sat here feeling so upset right now, dh is working and did in bed.

Basically I am 28 weeks pregnant, already have a toddler. When I was pregnant with my daughter nearly 2 years ago, a 'friend', a woman who me and my dh see a lot of along with her dh and go for holidays with etc treated me like utter crap. It started with me texting her to announce my pregnancy she then took 3 days to reply despite being on Facebook sharing pics etc, but replied 3 days later to say 'sorry, been ill, congrats'. From that moment on her behaviour turned nasty. She deleted me off Facebook, and her 14 year son did too. I was then bombarded with text messages from them both asking why I had removed them from Facebook, but I hadn't and all seemed strange. I sent them friend requests, 2 weeks later the same thing happened, with them both. It wasn't happening with my dh, just me. Things got heated and I said I didn't care for mind games etc. she protested her and her son didn't delete me but her son let slip and it all became clear that they both had. We agreed to not have each other on Facebook and move on but I was subject to comments, such as how awful I looked on a pic my partner posted of me on Facebook, he posted it because he thought I looked lovely yet she said I looked 'fucking awful'. Cheers Smile Then when I was 39 weeks pregnant she said that she was at the card shop and saw a baby girl card but didn't buy it in case something happens, and she superstitious like that. I honestly couldn't catch my breath and I was really upset over it. My dh wasn't too impressed either. When the baby was born she didn't come to see her, her dh did and her son but she said 'her eyes were hurting ' so couldn't make it. Most people probably would have ran a mile, but I stupidly forgave her for all of this and we've been ok since, until now.

Forward 18 months and I am now 28 weeks pregnant. When we found out we were having a boy we announced it on Facebook and it was the first announcement we had made on there about our pregnancy. I wrote a status and so did my dh, but she only commented on his and when she did she just wrote 'congrats simon!' Whereas everyone else bar my Sil who has been awful towards me over the years said congrats both. She knows the history with me and SIL and I felt at the time she only wrote that because she did. But I never mentioned it and have since had nights at my house with her,,her dh and my dh and have not mentioned her sidelining me. Her dh and mine get on really well and are like best mates. I also get on with her dh, he's a great guy.

My SIL ended up accusing me of making our pregnancies competitions by announcing it on Facebook and it all got out of hand. I stupidly confided in this 'friend' about it and almost to the day of me doing that she made a point of writing on her Facebook 'hope everything is ok and hope all goes well with the baby'. She's only met SIL once, yet she must have wrote at least 5 different things on her Facebook about her pregnancy, quite kind hearted messages. Her son (now16) has also done the same and today has written on my mil Facebook wishing my SIL all the best for the birth etc. it seems very pointed and completely ungenuine and I never got anything in the way of a kind message when I was pregnant, and this person is meant to be a friend? SIL she has met once? Hmmm. To top it off I realised later that her son has deleted me off Facebook. It's totally pathetic I know, but he was on there last week and now he's deleted me. So I messaged her and said yet again here we are, James has deleted me blah blah blah, I'm just messaging you because I no doubt will receive mesaages from you both like last time accusing me, I want to make it clear I haven't deleted James. She text back saying yeah he has deleted you because he knows u hate him. This is a lad with learning difficulties, a lad who I make a point of talking to and asking how he is every single time I see him, he always hugs me goodbye when we see each other, and the last time I saw him he have me a big hug and said bye, see you soon, he always does it. I don't understand why he now would think I hate him. I believe she has been saying things to him.

I basically said I feel like we are here again and the exact same thing happened when I was pregnant last time, I also told her how it hasn't gone unnoticed about her extensive messaging to SIL, a woman she's met once, yet I didn't get a peep and I've known her for 6 years, she text back and told me to grow the fuck up.

Now this whole Facebook stuff may seem totally childish, and I realise a part of it is, but this isn't because of me, I am left feeling totally and utterly upset and hurt, I feel I've been treated like a mug by this woman and I have no idea why. I have a stressful job, work long hours, I've probably cocked up and hundreds of things today because of it, I've totally ignored my dd tonight because I've been so upset about it all.

OP posts:
OptimisticSix · 03/02/2017 07:50

OP text back that you are growing up and you've realised this is a toxic friendship and have no wish to continue it. Then don't. She is not your friend. She sounds hideous. Block them from FB while you're at it so they can't play games any more.

Bantanddec · 03/02/2017 08:02

Wht are you still entertaining this bitch she sounds dreadful, moreover why is your husband not supporting you in this? Is she his mother? Sister? I can't understand why he's still bothering with her after she has treated his wife poorly?!

bookwormnerd · 03/02/2017 08:35

She obviosly wants the drama. I would say as others just both you and husband block. Your dh can have a relationship with his friend without you needing to talk to her. Concentrate on you, husband and your children. Some people thrive off drama, hence her making comments to your sil. She isnt a friend and i would just cut her out. People like that arnt worth it. Even if she had some issue surrounding pregnancy, it does not give her the right to try and make drama with you but as is just sounds like a drama queen.

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 03/02/2017 08:37

I am quite unsure as to why you and your DP are still giving this woman headspace? Step away from the drama, block her (if you haven't already) and move on. It's really not that big a deal. Seems to me like you are enjoying the drama.

emmyrose2000 · 03/02/2017 09:10

Both you and DH need to block, delete and move on.

By not doing so the very first time this happened, or after she called you 'fucking awful', you were choosing to get involved and continue the drama.

The non-friend is jealous of you and/or your pregnancies/babies. It's disgusting that she's manipulating her teenage son with special needs. Quite frankly, she isn't right in the head.

Justsayin2889 · 04/02/2017 08:38

Thanks all, I've only just managed to get back on here to read this. Agreed this woman is a waste of my time and head space. She'll struggle in life big time behaving like this. Smile

OP posts:
roarityroar · 04/02/2017 08:54

FFS you're an adult, I assume, so stop caring about Facebook.

roarityroar · 04/02/2017 08:55

That sounded a bit harsh, sorry. Congratulations on your baby. Delete Facebook.

Screwinthetuna · 04/02/2017 09:02

What a freak, you and your husband need to cut all ties with the whole family

sk1pper · 04/02/2017 09:05

Cut her out of your life completely. She is not your friend anymore and I wouldn't even bother trying to understand it.

sk1pper · 04/02/2017 09:05

Also congratulations :)

DeeDee3311 · 06/02/2017 19:47

I w

Umblubblub · 06/02/2017 19:55

I suspect she's very jealous of you, and is green with envy about your pregnancy. As others have said, you don't need this kind of negativity in your life. Cut them loose and move on, they are not worth a moment more of your valuable time.

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