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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed that I'm being asked to clean up after myself

52 replies

user1485982179 · 01/02/2017 21:05

Slightly misleading title, but in effect that's how I feel. I rented a room from a landlady at £600 a month including bills. Also said in the ad it included 'everything' - weekly cleaning, house hold bits and bobs - the works. When meeting landlady she reiterated it was essentially an air b&b package I was paying for and all I had to worry about was keeping my own room clean, everything else in the house she would take care of. Showed me the dishwasher that 'I didn't have to worry about emptying as that was all included'. Top rent in my area is £450 a month for this kind of room so I felt the extra I was paying was fair. The reason I wanted this situation was that I had just left an abusive home situation and really needed to look after myself for a bit.

Of course since moving in everything has changed. Despite listing her job in the advert, it emerges the landlady actually hasn't worked 'for years', and thus is home all the time, making it a bit claustrophobic and awkward. Yes I know its her home, but I wouldn't have taken the room if she'd been up front about how much she would be there. I'm constantly ticked off about things and have now started avoiding her. I've been steadily asked to do more and more, including taking out bins, sorting the recycling, and emptying the dishwasher, just so she isn't 'the one doing it EVERY single time'. Yes I know I should clean up after myself etc, but I was paying extra so I wouldn't have to! I feel like a lazy student for being annoyed about it, but I could be paying over a hundred quid less a month and then I'd be happy to clean up after myself. I'm torn because the room is lovely and the area is perfect and right now I'm enjoying being in a safe environment, but I'm also feeling really ripped off and resenting the extra money she's getting for nothing.

Sorry for the long post. I guess I'm not quite emotionally healed yet and so I'm not trusting my own decisions. Please don't have a go at me for being lazy, I'm just looking at this from a business perspective.

OP posts:
Original poster
user1485982179 · 01/02/2017 21:06

Also the house has only been cleaned once in the month I have been here. So I'm not getting that advantage either.

OP posts:
Squirmy65ghyg · 01/02/2017 21:07

Move out. Wtf! Have you said that she mis sold you the room?

SecondsLeft · 01/02/2017 21:08

Negotiate a different deal or remind her you chose it because everything was included?

ToadsforJustice · 01/02/2017 21:08

Tell her you will stick to the original agreement and that you won't t be doing any more.

user892 · 01/02/2017 21:09

Please do leave. You appear to have fallen into a trap!

70ontheinside · 01/02/2017 21:10

Do you have a contract, t&cs?
Point out what you are paying for and that your landlady either has to uphold her end of the bargain or lower the rent. Or move.

Ginkypig · 01/02/2017 21:13

If your paying £150 extra a month than you would for a room in a normal flatshare than if it were me I'd already be looking for somewhere else to move to.

She can push all the extras as a trick to get you to pay extra and move in only to take all the extras away as soon as your there!

As you can afford the extra 150 I'd use that as savings every month once you've found a cheaper place.

Ginkypig · 01/02/2017 21:14

Can't not can!

allchattedout · 01/02/2017 21:15

Sounds awful. Move out. I would hate if my landlady was around all the time and the nagging about cleaning must be annoying. I hope you find somewhere else where you will feel happier.

FuzzyOwl · 01/02/2017 21:17

There will be other lovely rooms in the same area that will also be safe. Move to one of them.

LauraPalmersBodybag · 01/02/2017 21:18

Op, I worry you may have inadvertently swapped one bad situation for another. It sounds like she's in a bit of a weird place...not working, lying about it, promising one thing, delivering a contradiction... of course I'm not calling her abusive, but it strikes me as quite odd. It sounds like you need some privacy, somewhere calm, where you can get back to your old self. It might be hard to do that in someone else's home on weird terms.

melj1213 · 01/02/2017 21:24

Honestly, I'd move out to a cheaper place and get a weekly cleaner - I have a cleaner for 2hrs one day a week costing me £20, so £80 a month, so you could get a weekly cleaner to do the big jobs, do the little jobs yourself and still be £70 a month better off than you are now even if you moved to somewhere charging top rent!

Chloe84 · 01/02/2017 21:25

Start looking asap. You'll find somewhere nice.

In the meantime, call her up on this. I don't suppose you have a contract setting out what you said? Tell her you want a contract so there are no misunderstandings.

Megatherium · 01/02/2017 21:32

Move out, she will just continue taking the piss.

PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 01/02/2017 21:36

My job is in a similarish kind of role to your landlady (but bigger scale). I pay for cleaners to come in but if they have missed something then I do it over my clients. Even when they offer I say no as they are paying for a service.
I would either point out to that lady that you're paying to not have to do that sort of thing or just move out

Ubertasha2 · 01/02/2017 21:45

Is she approachable, if you calmly explain the original terms and conditions to her?

If she's not (and isn't likely to change), you need to start looking NOW. Not worth the hassle if she's unlikely to change. I've left a place before when the landlord was away for the night (right weirdo he was- ready for the rent, but dirty, rude, pervy, always following me around, monitoring my comings and goings etc)- lost the deposit, but felt I had no alternative, and it was quite an adrenaline rush of excitement to just up and leave!

Can you stay with a friend- say for a month or so while you're looking- and offer a basic rent per week while you're there to make the arrangement professional for all involved?

NotMyPenguin · 01/02/2017 21:51

You should move out and find somewhere that's either cheaper, or the same price but you actually get what you pay for!

Sounds awful.

Original poster
user1485982179 · 01/02/2017 22:02

Thank you for all being so kind. It's actually made me a bit tearful.

I'm going to contact my friend's landlord as he apparently has rooms available that are all modern and clean and lot cheaper. It's a huge relief to have made that decision. I feel bad because my LL will have to try and find someone else now and I don't think anybody will be prepared to pay that much rent (she is trying to rent another room but no one has called about it). But I won't tell her until I've found somewhere. I can't really stay anywhere else in between but thats' ok. I can cope with another few days.

OP posts:
user892 · 01/02/2017 22:16

You sound lovely, best wishes and happy new home to you Flowers

Starlight2345 · 01/02/2017 22:20

You will feel much better and much richer

DarklyDreamingDexter · 01/02/2017 22:29

Sounds like you've made the right decision and I'm sure you'll be a lot happier. Don't feel bad about the landlady - she reneged on the deal, not you. You should tell her why you're moving - maybe she'll think twice before scamming the next person. Hope you enjoy your new home.

TinselTwins · 01/02/2017 22:36

You should definitely move out you're NBU to be annoyed, you were ripped off!

I know that posters will tell you to make a point about it to the LL but if I was in your position of feeling fragile I wouldn't want to and would just slink away as quietly as I could

hugs x

TheWitTank · 01/02/2017 22:42

Glad you are going to be leaving. Sounds awful and suffocating. I would be honest but not unpleasant when you tell her you are leaving. Say that you had agreed to pay above the average rate as it included cleaning etc and that it hasn't worked out that way. Don't feel bad!

harderandharder2breathe · 01/02/2017 22:42

You're right to leave

You're paying over the odds precisely so you don't have to do cleaning. She can't remove the extra service that you're paying for and keep your rent the same!

I ageee with PP that you could hire a regular cleaner in your new place and still be cheaper than this rip off landlady

Good luck finding somewhere new Flowers

zzzzz · 01/02/2017 22:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.