To think people accused of rape should not be named?

[IHaveArrivedAtABadTime]

A rape allegation could seriously damage someones life and reputation. I think that by all means name and shame them after conviction but not before.

A friend of mine was falsely accused of rape last year but during the investigation the police happily told people his name when they were interviewing witnesses so everyone knew who he was . How is that allowed? My poor friend will have to live with this forever.

Luckily it didn't reach the press. It would have been so much worse if it did.

I myself was actually raped recently but I didn't report my rapist because I was terrified no one would believe me. It's too late now to report it I think. I feel women who lie about being raped like the woman who accused my friend should be locked up.

IDK I just feel so annoyed that my friend was put through this and annoyed that I can't report my rapist!

I've had men around my home.
None of them raped me. Why? Because they were not rapists.

It's not your responsibility.

Sorry, but OP and others are massively misunderstanding this.

Anonymity for any victim/rapist refers to PRESS anonymity, not anonymity in the police investigation. Therefore, even in countries where the alleged perpetrator has anonymity, of course his name can be mentioned in the INVESTIGATION. Otherwise it would be nonsensical. How can the police gather ANY evidence if they cannot tell the witness who they are actually talking about?

In this country, the alleged victim of rape has anonymity. This means she cannot be named in the press. It does not mean that the person she has accused will not know who she is. Of course he will because the police will tell him.

It is rare for the press to name an alleged rapist before charge or even before trial unless he is famous and there is some public interest. Therefore, to the vast majority of men, it would make zero difference whether there was defendant anonymity, except it would prohibit people spreading the information on social media and stuff. But you can't stop them talking.

I am sorry you were raped, OP. However, to direct vitriol at so-called 'false accusers' is unfair. How do you know that they aren't telling the truth? Why do you call yourself a slut? You should report it and if you told A and E, there will be a record in your notes. He should not be allowed to get away with it.

As for the coming forward because you know other people have come forward - surely if you are victim of crime you report it because it happened to you, not because you find out it has happened to others?

My ex husband raped me on a regular basis during the 5 years we were married. We were married from 1986 to early 1991 and rape within marriage wasn't a crime. He was a police officer and he took great pleasure in constantly reminding me that what he was doing wasn't illegal.

Then again perhaps I should have stuck it out a bit longer. Rape within marriage became a crime in October 1991 so if I'd just put up with it for seven more months then I could have reported him and obviously I would have had my complaint taken seriously. Because obviously a change in the law automatically meant everyone's attitudes to rape changed overnight too...

Well said WomanWithAltitude. I did try to write a response to myfavouritecolour but tbh I began to lose the will to live.

FreeWoman

I find it sickening that it was legal for a man to rape his wife for so long.

IHaveArrived As others have said don't blame yourself in anyway about any of this. You've had some great advice on this thread, and I hope you can bring yourself to take some of it when youre feeling a bit stronger
FreeWoman What an utterly evil wanker. I hope you're OK now and he's had some sort of comeupance ideally involving the removal of his dick
Loft - well done for reporting. Really wish I had when it happened to me

And to all the wonderful MNers who've posted so eloquently and supportively.

Apart of course from the rape-apologists/ mens rights-ers who can have a whole packet of s and f off back to 1917 where they belong

Did you post last night.

My deletion messages

I didn't post anything last night.

I think I remember your other thread from a few weeks back OP.

I'm going to repeat what others on that thread told you; it doesn't matter how many men you have slept with in the past or how much of a "bitch" or a "slut" other people may perceive you to be, nobody has any right to have sex with you without your consent.

You invited him in to your house for a drink. That's it. Inviting someone into your house is not an invitation for them to stick their penis in you without your consent.

None of this was your fault and you have nothing to take responsibility for.

He is responsible for his own actions. You're not responsible for that.