To think people accused of rape should not be named?

[IHaveArrivedAtABadTime]

A rape allegation could seriously damage someones life and reputation. I think that by all means name and shame them after conviction but not before.

A friend of mine was falsely accused of rape last year but during the investigation the police happily told people his name when they were interviewing witnesses so everyone knew who he was . How is that allowed? My poor friend will have to live with this forever.

Luckily it didn't reach the press. It would have been so much worse if it did.

I myself was actually raped recently but I didn't report my rapist because I was terrified no one would believe me. It's too late now to report it I think. I feel women who lie about being raped like the woman who accused my friend should be locked up.

IDK I just feel so annoyed that my friend was put through this and annoyed that I can't report my rapist!

OP it will not be your fault. The only person responsible for his behaviour is him.
If you still want to report it, you can, but that is entirely your decision.

Whether or not you report what happened to you, the only person responsible for a rape is the rapist. Please, please don't blame yourself whatever you decide to do.

It will not be your fault.
Women decide not to report for many reasons. Have you phoned Rape Crisis? They can help you understand what will happen if you do.
Please make the choice that you think will be best for you, don't worry about what you think you 'ought' to do x

I remember your previous thread. Please talk to Rape Crisis.
You have some very muddled ideas.

myfavouritecolour is talking shite. There is no country in the world where the police do not ask witnesses about a suspects movements/activities when they investigate a crime.

And witnesses don't have to see the crime happen to be a witness in an investigation and later a trial. They might have seen the defendant or the complainant immediately before/after the rape is alleged to have happened. They might have seen the defendant buying the victim drinks; offering to walk the victim home as she was paralytic. That would be relevant, would it not?

In the Ched Evans case, the hotel receptionist was a witness, as was the taxi driver and kebab shop staff.

All of that information is useful to police, and they cannot ask a witness about a suspect without somehow identifying the suspect - either by name or with a photo/description.

OP, normally I'd jump all over you but you are clearly still trying to process what happened to you.

Please speak to someone and take care of yourself.

myfavouritecolour is also talking shite about it being the victim's fault if a rapist attacks again. The only person responsible for rape is the rapist, not his previous victims.

TarragonChicken yes I'm talking about medical records and just a general record that I went there and what for. I'm not sure how useful those things would be to the police.

Myfavouritecolour, you are a complete idiot. How the actual fuck could police find out where a suspect was if they can't name him??!

I agree with others that you should call Rape Crisis. They'd be able to advise you without you having to go to the police at this point. And support you too.

OP - those would be very useful to the police indeed.

And I echo the advice to call rape crisis - they really are excellent.

I keep meaning to get in contact with rape crisis but I keep chickening out. I keep thinking I have to take some responsibiluty for this. I was the one who invited him into my house. He didn't force himself in, that was me.

Neither party should be named until a verdict is reached.

Sentances for the crime and falsely accusing should both be far harsher.

But I didn't want to have sex with him though. That wasn't my intention. But I used to sleep around and he knows this and he told me that meant I wanted it really. He knows no one will believe me because of my past behaviour and I know that's my fault and my responsibility to deal with.

Perhaps I should start a seperate thread on this. I feel like this has got side tracked.

I believe you IHave

You can have consensual sex with almost every man in the world but it doesn't mean that you have to consent to the last man standing. I think the promiscuity = can't be raped idea is not as believed these days, thank the lord.

Please read the link I posted upthread about societal behaviours. It'll make sense to you, I'm sure.

He sounds horrible.

Sleeping around isn't a crime. Inviting a man into your home isn't a crime. Personally I wouldn't judge you for either of those things in the least and I don't know any sensible person who would.
Rape is a crime though.

And it's not your fault. You invited him into your house - you didn't invite him into your body

The only person at fault here is him.

It's not your fault, really it's not. Choosing to sleep with other men in the past doesn't mean you want to sleep with any other man that demands to. Your past is not his concern. You didn't want to, that's the only relevant fact. I believe you. Other people will believe you. Everything that he said to you was to try and control you and to make you doubt yourself, for his benefit. He's a total bastard, you don't need to listen to his words.

False allegations are rare but cases where there just isnt enough evidence to put the rapist away are common. The men should be named so that other women can be wary of them. Of course if someone hasnt been convicted you should give them the benefit of the doubt however i would prefer to know if they had ever been accused so i could be extra careful around them. More often than not men whove been accused of rape are rapists there just hasnt been enough evidence because it was her word against his only.
The thing is i think it about peoples reactions to it as well. if people werent so vigilante about things we could just keep an eye on people who had been accused but not convicted of things, rather than completely ruining their lives for potentially no reason.
Like i said tho its useful info to have im sure you would want to know if someone had been accused of child abuse or dv etc even if they hadnt been convicted but just because theres a chance that it was true and you should take steps to keep yourself and/or your kids safe.
People that go round throwing bricks thru peoples windows and denying them work however ruin this situation for other people because it lends itself to keeping the names of the accused under wraps for their own protection.

Inviting a man into your house doesn't mean you consent to sex. Having sex with other men previously doesn't mean you consent to sex with this specific man.

We believe you.

He's a scumbag rapist, a liar. Whatever he told you is not worth giving headspace to for even a second.

I just read your update OP sorry! Hope you are okay and that you can see from what everyone is telling you that what happend to you was in no way your fault

Contact Rape Crisis. They are there to help not judge.

IHaveArrived