To be furious at ds school?

[weneednopants]

This is going to be a long post. Sorry
So backstory is ds (6) has sn. With various extra conditions. One of which is bowel issues. He either can't go or is very much the other way (sorry tmi). Anyway just before Christmas he was going through a lets say loose episode. Not contagious just his normal movements. Now he struggles with coordination and finds cleaning himself after toileting very difficult. Added to this he has asd and will have a complete meltdown if he gets poo on his hands. So in light of this I rang school to advise that he may need assistance when he uses the toilet just while he was going through this episode. His allocated 1:1 ta phones back to say in no uncertain terms she wasn't willing to help him and because he was likely to have a meltdown she didn't want him to come in until his bowel movements had firmed up.
So to the aibu part.
Today I received from the school an attendance warning letter. Telling me we are on a monitored 6 week period. If attendance doesn't improve we will be put before the attendance panel and face possible prosecution. His attendance dropped because the school wouldn't allow him to attend and now I'm put on warning!! I wanted him to go to school during that period not be at home perfectly well and bored but because his ta wouldn't wipe his arse when it needed it he had to stay home. Am I wrong in thinking this is totally unfair and in fact the school should be taking responsibility for his absence. Sorry for the long post

Of course an SEN TA should assist with personal care if necessary, trifle who do you think should do this if the child is supported in a mainstream setting?
A Teaching assistant's role is to assist the child's learning, if they're sat in a pile of shit I imagine it's going to impact on their concentration.

OP, your DC's TA sounds unreasonable.

My DD had continence issues when she first started school. I thought it might prevent her attending. I spoke to the HT whose attitude was that if she was deaf they wouldn't stop her attending, so we came up with a plan (lots of asking her whether she needed to go, bags of wipes, nappy bags and spare clothes in school, plenty of opportunities where she would just be told to go not asked etc), all things I thought might help. There were a couple of people given extra responsibility to keep an eye on her. If she got into a bit of a mess then they would help, together, but if it was bad the school would call me and I would go in. In fact, I never had to go in, and as she's got older she's grown out of it.
But it was the attitude that it was a disability like any other, a health problem, which should not affect her schooling which really made the difference. An effort to work round it, and find solutions, which doesn't seem to have happened here.
I don't know what you can do but I'd be seriously unimpressed.

catkind: I don't disagree with that.

FabulouslyGlamourousFerret: It isn't a standard part of the job at all in a mainstream setting. There is no 'of course' about it. This needs to be agreed as part of a discussion. I know I wouldn't want someone wiping my child's bottom who had been pressured into doing so, having signed up to a position that did not involve intimate care.

These are illegal exclusions, relating to SN.

I'd ask for all paperwork from all the previous illegal exclusions.

This isn't any old child who has a bit of a dodgy tummy. His needs are fully described in an EHCP. The TA's would or should know what this involves, given that they have been employed for this child in particular.

Get your paper trail started, as a pp suggested.

Letter has been generated automatically. Send something in response similar to what youarenotkiddingme posted upthread looks good.

When the TA said that they weren't willing to assist, did you take it further then by speaking to anyone else, such as his teacher or the head? Has the teacher provided any work for him to complete at home whilst he has been off?

But a 1:1 SEN teaching assistant position is going to encompass all sorts of things that a child may need support with, this could be PEG feeding, insulin injections, emergency epilepsy medication .... or dealing with continence issues.

a 1:1 TA job role can be very different from a regular TA

FabulouslyGlamourousFerret: Daye enough, but clearly there has been some miscommunication here because the TA in question obviously doesn't understand this to be part of her role. She cannot have been hired in the knowledge that the child needed her to do this.

*fair

A school cannot force a specific member of staff to deal with intimate care, but must ensure that they do have some staff who will do it.

Did someone from the school other than the TA tell you to keep him at home? A TA absolutely doesn't have the authority to tell you to keep your child at home. If the only instruction to keep your child at home came from the phone call from the TA (i.e. you don't have any physical evidence), you may have a problem regarding the absence.

And it is very common for children with SEND to have toiletting issues in mainstream, or it is at all the schools I have worked in.

I would be challenging the exclusion.

The school have acted illegally in that they have excluded your child because they haven't provided staff to meet his needs. at the ht saying it's the ta's call whether your son can attend or not. No - it's her legal responsibility to make sure the school is equipped so that all its pupils are able to attend and be educated. I would remind the ht of this if they request your child stay at home for similar reasons in the future. And I would formally complain if they insist.
It's not the letter you need to be angry about but the illegal exclusion (though I can see that adds insult to injury when you are being threatened over attendance when the school have told you he cant attend).
It's surprising how many ht's don't actually know what the law says regarding exclusions or know full well but chance it that the parent will keep the child off and save them the hassle/expense of having to deal with it
Reply t the letter reminding the school that they did not allow your child to attend for the period they are talking about as they didn't have the staff to meet his medical needs as identified in his are plan. I doubt you will hear anything more.

Just out of interest was he being taken out of the classroom for violence or disruption and what strategies do you use to tackle these problems?

I'm currently working as 1:1 support for a child with SEN in a mainstream primary school and do provide toileting assistance. However, I was employed by the school as a general TA and my terms and conditions are those of a general TA. I love my 1:1 work- but was not employed by the school on this basis. I think the same is probably true of quite a lot of 1:1s in primary schools- they start off as general classroom support and are switched to become 1:1s as the need arises. It means that they do not necessarily have the skills to support some SEN needs. (I'm of the view any adult working in a primary school should be able to provide toileting assistance though- as long as they are not put into a potentially difficult situation vis a vis safeguarding, which it is then up to the school to sort). I do toileting on my own with the loo door open- there is sufficient privacy for the child but I'm in earshot of other adults.

Write to the school saying that they are well aware that the only reason your child's attendance was low was the fact that they illegally excluded him, and say that you require that fact to be recorded in the records, plus confirmation that he is not on any attendance warning, plus their apology and confirmation that it will never happen again. If they are not prepared to do that, start a disability discrimination appeal in the Special Educational Needs and Disability Tribunal. The Equality and Human Rights Commission may well be willing to support you.

YANBU.

Are the school seriously saying that a child with toiletting needs can't attend school? What if the child had toiletting needs long term - is the parent meant to quit their job to hang around at school waiting for them to poo?

I think the difference is with the job title and descrition. Ta' s are teaching assistants who usually support the teacher and groups within the class. We have lsa 's or learning support assistants who work 1-1. They have different job descriptions which can involve toileting. There are no safeguarding issues regarding toileting as long as procedures are followed. When it comes down to it all staff have responsibility for making sure all children have any support they need. If any child wets themselves I will help them sort it out. I cannot do number 2s because I have Crohn's disease and that is in my file.
The letter may have been sent out by the education welfare officer who may just be looking at data. The meeting would be a chance for the whole story to come out.

Maybe they need to look for a support assistant who can deal with all his care needs.
I would definitely be in contact with the head about the letter and tell them you acted on their advice, you better advise to what I was told, since this is not my fault.

How long was he off school? I would definitely have queried the TA's request for him to be kept off.

It's difficult. When I worked as a SEN TA in a mainstream school (interventions, not 1-1 support) I was expected (stated in contract) to assist children with continence issues, from the occasional accident to one child still in nappies at 6. It wasn't a problem. However, our school policy was that if the episodes were 'loose' and/or very frequent, the child was sent home. Changing or cleaning up a child after a bowel movement required two members of staff for safeguarding reasons, and we couldn't spare two staff members multiple times a day for this.

So I think the school wasn't necessarily unreasonable to ask him to stay at home. Definitely unreasonable to make an issue of his attendance afterwards, though!

Cancelly, your school was risking a successful disability discrimination claim. Children should not be required to miss school because they have loose bowels due to disability.

Anyone supervising children has a legal duty of care towards that child. The paramount principle is the 'best interests' principle which means that everything you do must be in the best interests of the child. This would include meeting their physical needs. Failure to do so could be classed as negligence. Put simply, the child's needs come before everybody else's and the best interest principle translates as 'what would you want someone to do if that was your child?'. That's how we should treat the children we care for. The right to have our physical needs met is enshrined in the human rights act. IMO many schools don't realise how this translates in practice until they breach guidance. Schools need to have care plans in place to state procedure for such situations.

I really sympathise with your son, i have IBS (so rarely have a "healthy" movement and need to go every time i go to the loo, so 2/3 times a day at least) and severe OCD about toilets and wee/poo germs and have done since i was 5. I have to wear latex exam gloves to make sure i don't get anything on me then crazy hands, arms and face washing and dousing myself in spray disinfectant, i really hope you find a better TA who can help your son so he gets the support he needs.