Big fat dirty liars

[jcne]

Please discuss, for and against, all are welcome, the (not to load the question but...) the bastard fuckwittery claim of:

"I wasn't lying, you just didn't ask"

I'm going to give this some thought guys. at the moment his on absolute best behaviour (because he knows I'm mad as hell). when he goes back to work (works month on month off) is when things will start to slide.. so I'm going to sleuth about to see whether he's made any truthful lifestyle changes or whether he's just telling me what I want to hear.

he's a well functioning drinker. I'm the only one who thinks he's got a drink problem, but then I'm the only one who gets the abuse and the lies. his mates are his drinking buddies and have similar burdens and his family have no idea what he can be like. i must just be crazy bitch according to them 🙃

"his family have no idea what he can be like. i must just be crazy bitch according to them"
And there's another red flag. He's successfully hidden his behaviour to them, and manipulated their perception of you. As in - he's lied to them about you. So you'd be fighting ALL of them. Get this sorted before the birth. You chance being too exhausted and too vulnerable to hold your ground afterwards.

Gaslighting fuckworth. Have you ever gone along to an Alanon meeting OP? For families of alcoholics.

And / or you can do the Women's Aid freedom programming online - emotional abuse is domestic abuse.

*program

No doubt in my mind that I will come across (be made out to be) a controlling whining bitch. I have a fairly good grip on reality but I admit I was blinded by love lust I guess til it was too late then, like you I found out the truth. I take it (reading between the lines) if you'd found out before 24 weeks stage you'd of made decisions? I'm not quite at 24 weeks is why I bring it up. I'm petrified of what to do. What a terrible circumstance for us to be in!!

Gingernaut - thank you - I knew it didn't sound quite right but I knew what I meant - my poor head is full of germs and what feels like cotton wool at present

Adory sadly if i knew what i know now i probably would have 😔

So you're worried that if you separated he'd be able to ensure he has unsupervised access to your child, and you wouldn't want that?

he lies about drinking and drug use, thinks nothing of DUI too. no, i wouldn't want him taking my baby away.

"thinks nothing of DUI too"
Would you be able to report that to the police next time you know he's DUI? If he lost his licence, at least he couldn't be at the wheel with your baby.

i absolutely will call the police anytime
i know he is DUI or has gone to work UI. however he knows this and so strategically conceals key info from me (in my opinion, just try proving stuff like that without catching him in the act)

i spend my days now speculating on whether he's likely to have been drinking/smoking and whether he is likely to be driving and whether i should call the police this time. i also don't want to waste police time!