To think this is the most bizarre job ad ever?

[DontTouchTheMoustache]

I just needed to post this to check my sanity because I read it and felt drunk (I didn't read the whole thing, just the overview and bits in bold, then I needed a lie down).

www.indeed.co.uk/viewjob?from=appsharedroid&jk=2fdd517f8542b8fb

Don't, thanks for screenshotting for me... I'm speechless!!!!

(disclaimer - I am sure there are lots of wonderful realistic Millennials working very hard who will be wildly successful of course!)

Wtaf! Did anyone read the whole advert! I feel a migraine coming on.

I almost feel bad (not the almost) about checking out his LinkedIn page. I'm Jobseeking and therefore am nosy about who see mine just in case it's someone I want to see it.

(this is why I had to change the photo from the now 5 year old one with stripey purple hair)

If someone with that skillset turned up asking for an unpaid job, I think I would (a) want to know what was wrong with them that they couldn't get a paid job and (b) check their criminal record.

'Hipster cunts seek similar wanker'

Is it a spoof or is it real we need to get Sherlock Holmes private detective on the case.

I can't believe that want all that for free! (Dragon Tattoo stuff aside!).

Unpaid internships just piss me off.

If an Individual has the "requisite attributes" I would have thought they already have a paid job and not in need of skivvying for free for a year.

Rather more honest to advertise 'General dogsbody required to work all hours God sends for nowt. Must be able to tolerate working with wankers. Preference will be given to candidates with an overinflated sense of self'.

So the application process is to submit a CV (end of advert) by phone (start of advert) This must the cutting edge technology they have developed to send paper through a landline phone

You can also report him directly to HMRC here -

www.tax.service.gov.uk/forms/form/pay-and-work-rights-complaint/new#1

I don't think that this is excessive. People are being distracted by his twattishness from the illegality of what he is advertising.

Ooh, thank you icanteven. Didn't know about that Report an Unpaid Internship thing.

Hmmmmmmmmm I wonder if the dragon tattoo shite is because they're hoping to attract a hot "fierce" hipster babe to do all this guff for no pay and them mr hipster might get a shag out of it too

BS-spouting "entrepreneurs" like this make me so annoyed. You meet quite a few of them in publishing and they're so entitled.

I tried to click on ad but it's not coming up so it looks like it's been pulled? The admin one did though.

OTOH they are going the right way about attracting their own demographic. Somewhere out there might be a massively up-themselves parent-funded young thing who can't hold down a paid job due to being too annoying, and fancies themselves as a "dragon tattoo" type... and will think this ad is just the thing :o

Yes but they have "wooden floors" in their office

I don't know about you, but wooden floors are always one of my deal breaker criteria when I am job searching. What sort of terrible place has carpets?

venus same, if you can't hear your heels clip clipping against a wooden floor how are you supposed to feel important?

I read the VP global sales marketing service (what!?) advert in a Lego Batman voice...

-Persuasive and bubbly personality with strong influencing skills.

-Able to command a room with effervescent presence.

-Able to utilise magnetic personal qualities and charm with ease.

-Strong flair for instant rapport building.

-Intellectually curious and focused on self-development.

-Able to captivate and enchant their audience.

-An inquisitive global outlook and self-awareness.

-Is proactive and innovative in all areas.

-Possesses outstanding interpersonal skills, strong commercial acumen and a flair for problem solving.

I'm Batman!

Oooooh, that sounds just like me AND im nearby
Shame I don't work for free ( or for utter tosspots)

looking for a talented individual who would like to emulate the ‘Girl with the Dragon Tattoo’ persona.

So if I let my DC cut my fringe badly, put on some black clothes and pretend I can exert Vulcan Mind Control, the job's mine?

But it's not paid. Illegally. Sod that. Whoever wrote this has verbal diarrhoea, can you imagine working for them?

Hahahahahahaha - wanktastic. Seriously, is there no-one tripping over themselves to apply, after all they're not even asking YOU to pay THEM for this fantasy job? No, thought not

Hope they see this thread and get a huge dose of embarrassment.

you just know it'll be a spotty 20 year old in a badly fitting Burtons suit that'll get this job......the poor bugger

Love that they are looking for advanced self awareness as a professional skill.

Sadly lacking in whoever wrote the job ad.

Judging by their companies house details it's a couple of blokes working from a residential address in Halifax. Dodgy as hell. I hope no women turn up there for an 'interview'.