Please give me a few sarky one liners (MLM. Lighthearted)

[PopGoesTheFuckingWeasel]

A distant friend (we worked together 15 years ago) recently started popping up on my facebook news thingy recently. He also added a load of my friends.

I know why now. The MLM bug strikes again! He's putting the hard sell on a fair few of my friends, and they have blocked him.

He's now giving DH shit because he won't sign up. I have access to DH's facebook, and the pings are getting more and more agressive. DH is upset, but I'm finding it quite funny.

How do you answer people like this, who won't take "No" for an answer? I've had a fair few "amazing opportunities Hun" put my way, and "No" has always worked before! Mind you, people who know me know I have a more-than-passing acquaintance with the block button, and won't be pushed.

Sorry about the rant. Any foolproof methods of extinguishing these bots? (Besides blocking). Is there a special bot-spray or bot-paper?

Would one of those special candles work from b&q?

Oh I'm really sorry, it's just such bad timing, we sorted all of our bills in December and tied in to a 2 year contract. You will be glad to know that we got a great deal though, and we got given cashback too

Some of you may be interested in joining the
Botwatch lot over in money matters. We're a friendly bunch, but haven't discussed IW much yet. They seem quiet compared to the snake oil and coffee/tea twats.

Oh god! A friend of mine has risen quite high in the MLM ranks and is constantly posting #inspirational #bullshit on FB. Really grinds my gears. Another friend messaged me six months before my wedding saying if i wanted to drop the pre-wedding pounds I could purchase Clean 9 from her. I lost a lot
Of weight years ago on Weight Watchers so didn't need it as I was at ideal weight. When I told her this she was all 'oh but everyone could do with losing a couple of pounds'
I just told her some people could do with having better manners but we can't always get what we want. MLMs are just a waste!

Sorryyyyyyy!!!!! Thanks for all the replies! I'd like to say that I've been too busy doing productive things to come back to this thread- but, alas, all I've been doing is pissing about on the Wooly Hugs thread...

I posted the PF meme on my wall.

And I mashed up lots of replies on here and said:

"If your ultimate goal in life is to pressurise and intimidate people, to dwindle your friends list down to zero, or to open a Fucknugget Training School, you've achieved it! Yay you! Where do I sign up?

On a serious note, our cave is now ready to move into and we will no longer require gas, electricity, or the presence of idiots like you.

Cheery bye!"

Re:botwatch. I used to post on there regularly under a different name- ironically, because I wrote an article on how to spot and deal with a bot! Should have taken my own advice really! 😅

Stark now be fair...this is one rare example of true advertisement from FL etc. You will lose pounds...just not of the weight kind! The wanksocks probably see this as a loophole in the law which enables them to keep spouting horseshit!

Did your no longer friend respond in any way Pop? I'm hoping your reply might have shaken him up enough to take a long, hard look at himself and realise what a twonk he has become, although it seems this MLM brainwashing runs deep into the psyche and corrupts absolutely.

Pop that response is perfection! Good on you!

God I hate MLMers so much. I just hide them or unfriend them if they start going on at me.

I'm a doterra wellness advocate and am realising how corrupt this business is. I have now spent nearly £1000 and have only seen under £30 back!! It's great if you are friends with the people at the top of the pyramid as then you are placed higher up and given a whole leg of down lines, unfair on honest people like me. It's sad because they are great products and have benefited me and my son. I was enrolled with the promise of making decent money.....how wrong was I!! I'm a holistic therapist and plan on using the products within my business but I don't want anyone to be fooled like I was!!!

Doterra business scam!

I'm a doTERRA wellness advocate and have spent nearly £1000 with less than £40 in return! I enrolled with the promise of financial independence.....how wrong was I.

In my team, if you are friends with the top then you are given a leg on down lines which leaves honest people like me no chance of fair competition!

The product is great and I have benefited personally from them but whatever you do.... DO NOT Become A doterra rep!

I know this isn't the point of the thread but we're with utility warehouse and have actually saved money. It only really works if you sign up 5 of your bills any less than that and we wouldn't have saved much at all.

I don't work for them! And don't agree with your friends bullish tactics. I have a friend who is a MLM'er and I just ignore her when she's on sales mode, I reply when she's not. I think she's getting the message.

Exploitiing your friends so you can #livethedream and spend time with your children is wrong, when they are working full time and don't get that luxury. It's also very poor marketing! Don't they realise that's just going to fuck people off?!