Are me and dh in the wrong with mil?

[MadJeffBarn]

Dd (5) needed a new carseat. Mil offered to buy one a few weeks ago. We don't actually drive, but we have friends who do. We desperately needed one today for the babysitter and my mum wasn't able to drop off hers in time, so we just bought one. Mil is now in a strop because she wanted to buy one. We tried explaining that we needed one asap, but she's now blanking us?

Maybe she could just give you the money? I would ask her if it's more important that your child has one or that she be allowed to pay for it?

No. You needed one sooner. Maybe she can pay you back. Blanking you is silly.

Just ignore her, she can still pay for it if she wants to. My MIL often used to say she would pay for school shoes, but never actually did.

Ignore tantrums and wait until she gets over herself.

Sheeesh

ignore her , she is being a stroppy cow

Did your MIL know that you needed it by today?

Did you tell her you needed it today? If so, when?

Oh ignore the tantrumming adult!! IF she's so fucking bothered, let her give you the money for it - if she refuses, then it wasn't about her buying the carseat for you to use, it was about her controlling which carseat you ended up with, and you're better off nipping that sort of behaviour in the bud.

ah yes blanking that totally useless passive aggressive behaviour

You say MIL wasn't able to drop off hers in time, so you bought one. This suggests that MIL had bought a car seat, but not yet delivered it. If you knew she had one, and did not let her know that she needed to deliver it by a certain date, or warn her that you would get another if she didn't, then yes I do think she as a point if she is now cross that she will now have to go to the trouble of taking it back and get a refund. I don't like sulking though - she should tell you how/why she is annoyed.

The most boring dilemma in the world

*has a point

Tell her your child's safety is the most important thing not who buys the car seat.

Jinxxx she said her mum couldn't drop it of in time which I took to be different from her mother in law who offered to buy the car seat

Jinxx - you're confusing the OP's mother and MIL. OP's mother wasn't able to drop off a carseat in time, OP's MIL hasn't yet bought one.

Jinxxx no the OP's mum has one but wasn't able to drop it off in time, so they bought one.

"Mil offered to buy one a few weeks ago."
But still hadn't bought it a few weeks later.

Did she know when you needed it for?

Jinxx
OP said her mother not her MIL couldn't drop her car seat off in time. Totally different.
FWIW I'd just ignore it. MIL obviously likes the "idea" of buying the car seat-but hasn't done anything about it on a practical level.

Same for MILs as toddlers - reward good behaviour and ignore poor behaviour.

Ignore the pathetic tantrum.

If she wanted to buy one she can still give you the money. My mother and father in law both say to me to buy birthday/Christmas gifts for LO and they will give the money - their attitude is that I know what he wants and its easier for them. In the same way you needed this urgently and you knew what you wanted - or would when you went and had a look

When she offfered to buy one what did you say? Did you say you need one asap? Did you tell her what type to get? Or was it just left vague,

Shocking levels of aggression towards the mother in law. She hasn't stabbed anyone.

Hahaha - oh yes, SHOCKING levels of aggression. really. Telling the Op to ignore her tantrums, SO Aggressive! It's not like anyone has suggested twatting her with a spade, is it now.