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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being unreasonable for telling my husband not to come back next time?

77 replies

CalorieCreditEqualsCake · 30/01/2017 22:38

We had an argument on Saturday morning so he got up and left, I assumed work. No plans for it previously, we were very angry with one another so I suppose a few hours away wasn't a bad thing.

I text him in the day and asked if he wanted some of the thai I was cooking and he said yes, I made him some early evening and we spoke before I went out. DC asked if he would come waking with the dog we were looking after, DH said yes. He totally denies saying yes but can't 'remember what he did say'.

On Sunday morning he puts on his work trousers and leaves.

He didn't tell me, he didn't tell the kids. He just ups and leaves.

He wasn't back again until bed time.
I'm beyond livid. He's done this before and it makes a mockery out of a marriage that should be secure. Just upping and leaving not telling anyone? Like he's a single man?

And since he's done it before, no doubt he'll do it again.

I've just told him if he does it again to never come back.

He doesn't see the problem with 'going to work'. Going to work isn't the issue whatsoever. It's getting up and leaving when having not previously planned and no regard for us. I asked him why he didn't take the opportunity to tell me on Saturday night that he planned to work. He said 'he hadn't made the decision then'.

He really doesn't see what's wrong with it.

OP posts:
freddiemercury · 31/01/2017 21:49

I can see why you were irritated, it's not ideal behaviour. but I reiterate you coukd have called...NOT to say "hello love" buy. to ask him to come home to spend time with your children as agreed. later on, when the children were I bed you coukd have a conversation and communicate. rather than make threats. and frankly you do come across as extremely aggressive.

redexpat · 31/01/2017 22:06

YANBU. I think you should actually get up and go out one day. Tell the dc beforehand. See how he likes having decisions made for him.

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