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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to expect employee to say thank you for Christmas Bonus?

154 replies

Booper42 · 30/01/2017 17:21

I am self employed and at Christmas gave all my employees a generous Christmas Bonus - out of the 7 employees only 3 thanked me for their Bonus. I have waited for the others to at least say thankyou or acknowledge that they have recieved the money (sent via online banking). One of the employees has now asked for more money - if she didn't appreciate the £500 I gave her, why should I give her anymore especially when she doesn't appear to be putting in a great deal of effort into her work at the moment!

Is it me, or is this how employees are these days?

OP posts:

MothersRuinart · 31/01/2017 20:28

This thread is a reminder of why I have never wanted to work for a small business.

GnomeDePlume · 31/01/2017 20:48

MothersRuinart same here.

I wonder how much per hour the 'going the extra mile' works out as.

I am certainly not going to be saying a special 'thank you' when my bonus is given to me by someone who gets ten times and more the bonus I get.

Employers like bonuses. They arent normally pensionable. The earning of them is easily manipulated so even when you hit all the targets they can disappear.

li1972 · 31/01/2017 21:08

I disagree that Xmas bonuses are to keep the staff loyal / sweet / prevent them disappearing off to your competition. I gave a staff bonus this year to my one and only member of staff besides me, and I did it knowing that she is leaving in April. The business is not rolling in it, I earn less than my staff member (looking to the long term) and did it solely because I knew she would struggle at Xmas if I didn't! She was very grateful. Had she not said thank you then it would have been the last time I bothered gifting a Xmas cash extra to the pay packet! YANBU OP.

Sheld0n · 31/01/2017 21:30

I never said thank you for bonuses in my last job, as every year we negotiated for a fair wage for what we did and were told no, but got a bonus at the end of the financial year... I would rather have had fair pay in accordance with market alignment so it was a bit of a slap in the face.
I think if cash/a cheque was handed to me I'd say thanks as I usually do when someone hands me something, bank transfer or with my wage I wouldn't, unless I was specifically asked "did you receive your bonus?".

Loopy567 · 31/01/2017 22:33

Bonuses where I work are quite emotive. Depending on your end of year grade you can get nothing or up to 10% with the average being a couple of percent, depending on the pot of money it is allocated from. The "top" person in the whole organisation - not the area I work can walk away with more than double their annual salary. This year having been graded better than last I've no doubt the pot will be empty! We are meant to be grateful for 2% but if we are all doing a good job I would rather just have a decent pay raise every year.

Dodadodaday · 31/01/2017 22:44

I think there is possibly a communication issue here. Employees who are confident or know you or may want to know you better might be comfortable saying thank you, while I can see a situation where without an "announcement " others might not know how to broach the subject, have thought it was a tax error, or thought it a genuine error and kept their heads down or even in the Christmas rush genuinely not know. Without you telling people you actually appreciate them you aren't giving them an appropriate venue to thank you. And culture is learned from others, so with most people staying silent, everyone learns that's the way to behave. I'd make an announcement, say "sorry this is late, but wanted to thank you for your contribution last year so hopefully you all saw the Christmas bonus arrive in your December pay. Well done, you deserve it". See if that gets you some more smiles and thanks

MelOrSue · 31/01/2017 22:54

I give my cleaner a Xmas bonus of £150 which I think is generous. I put it in a Xmas card and thank her for all her hard work and amazing punctuality. She gives me a Xmas card but never actually thanks me for the money. I think it's ok - I know she likes me and I just know she will be grateful for the extra money. She is polite about other things so I don't think she is bad mannered I just think it's something she doesn't think to say thank you for.

I'm not sure that makes sense but to sum it up, I am perfectly happy that my cleaner doesn't thank me for her bonus.

EveOnline2016 · 31/01/2017 22:57

The last bonus DH had was nice at the time, but as bonus are classed as earnings and we had to put it on tax credits we lost out in the end.

EveOnline2016 · 31/01/2017 23:05

My brother doesn't do bonus pay for the staff he has working for him as it fucks up his tax returns.

I always thought it was a tax break, but that's only if you meet certain criteria, as he is registered as self employed and the people who works for him pay there own tax and NI then he doesn't fall into this.

ImageQueen · 01/02/2017 07:20

Wow!
So many entitled comments!
I pay my staff a Christmas bonus (along with other gifts) it's because it is Christmas and I like to treat them!
They haven't earned it! I pay them a wage for that!
I'm grateful they don't appear as "entitled" as some of you here, if they did I would never pay it again and hope if your bosses discover your attitude they stop...
What would you do?
Whine at a tribunal that you didn't get extra?!!
Get some manners!

ImageQueen · 01/02/2017 07:28

This is about a Christmas bonus, not a performance related bonus!

user1477282676 · 01/02/2017 08:06

I had a job in a theatre which often meant I was given gifts by production companies. Expensive champagne, perfume, meals out...I ALWAYS said thank you.

It's just rude not to! If you work for a small business, it's especially rude.

Strongmummy · 01/02/2017 08:31

ImageQueen, what a benevolent boss you are!!!! It is you who sound entitled I'm afraid. Whilst there is a difference between a gift and a performance related bonus you are still giving as a thank you. You shouldn't then expect thanks (although it's nice to receive) and then punish if you don't get that thanks. Employees are not your kids!! In addition the OP wasn't even upfront that she was giving a bonus and then complained that not everyone thanked her!!! They may not have acknowledged it in their account. I give my cleaner a gift at xmas to say thanks. I pay my nanny a performance related bonus to say thanks. I don't demand thanks in return as I recognise I'm in the position of privilege. As I've said I've never thanked an employer for a performance related bonus and they've kept coming!!!

Bettyspants · 01/02/2017 09:28

I work for the NHS, no bonus. Husband is a head teacher, no bonus. I'm in awe of people who get or even expect a bonus! Particularly with a small company it seems very generous, £500 is a large amount of money for myself and many others here. To not even acknowledge this seems bizarre... to ask for more down right rude!

Strongmummy · 01/02/2017 09:42

I work in finance, you expect a bonus. It's part of your annual package. I'm owed it as it's used as an incentive to keep me working and away from my child!! I appreciate not everyone has this as standard in their industries, but many do and it really isn't the employer being "kind".

TinselTwins · 01/02/2017 10:14

I'm in awe of people who get or even expect a bonus!

it's part of the deal in many sectors
do you say "thank you" for your monthly salary? because it's pretty much the same thing!

TinselTwins · 01/02/2017 10:18

Bettyspants there are other benefits you get in the NHS that someone in an industry where bonuses are the norm, e.g. you can get a permanant contract, not just a few months or a year at a time contracts.

Inadays · 01/02/2017 13:25

I am shocked at some of the -ungrateful- responses on here. I am job hunting at the moment and would be over the moon to get a bonus! I would feel that I'd deserved it due to working hard or going above and beyond the call of duty, and that it was well deserved.

But getting a bonus alone wouldn't stop me asking for a pay rise though - if I felt it was appropriate.

I would have thanked you, Booper! Very rude that only a few of your employees did...

BearsDontDigOnDancing · 01/02/2017 14:24

Tbh though, her not thanking you for (your thank you) bonus, should be a completely separate thing from her asking for a raise, As opposed to your view of "well if she was not even grateful for her 500 quid why should I give her more money!"

She will ask for a raise if she feels she deserved it, and then can have it either accepted or not depending if it is warranted. The bonus should not ever come into it.

Trollspoopglitter · 01/02/2017 15:23

ImageQueen-
"What would you do?
Whine at a tribunal that you didn't get extra?!!"

Nope, just quit and work for your competition. While you would need to invest more money and time in recruiting and training a new employee.

Serialweightwatcher · 01/02/2017 18:32

MelOrSue - can't believe that your cleaner doesn't say thank you for such a generous christmas bonus - I know you give her it for her good work and punctuality but I see it as that's how she keeps the job she gets paid for - I don't have a cleaner but would have thought £20 would be sufficient and I would expect a thank you for that - I really think it's so rude of all these people who don't thank someone for what is extra ... in a big company it obviously wouldn't be easy or practical for every employee to thank whoever for however much, but a small business or private employer I would just automatically so thank you

Serialweightwatcher · 01/02/2017 18:33

say not so - sorry

MelOrSue · 01/02/2017 19:35

SerialWieghtWatcher

I do find it odd she doesn't specifically say thank you for the money. It's pretty generous after all. I think I'm a great employer ...but I also think she is an amazing cleaner. She has worked for me for 10 years and is literally never late or sick. We have never even vaguely fallen out. I pay a good hourly rate but obviously she doesn't get holiday pay etc (although I offered to take her in as a proper employee rather than her being self employed).

She isn't English so maybe it's a difference in culture.

I like to judge people on their whole personality rather than on occasional 'quirks' and as she is a really lovely person otherwise it really doesn't matter that she doesn't say thank you for the money. No one is perfect and I couldn't be doing with getting offended all the the time like some-Mumsnetter-seem to do

Strongmummy · 01/02/2017 19:42

I think there are a few different issues at play here. E.g. 1) a gift versus a performance related bonus 2) being grateful for thanks versus expecting thanks and threatening to punish for not receiving it. In my view if you give a gift you are thanking someone and if you are giving a performance related bonus you are contractually rewarding. There is absolutely no need to thank for the latter. Regarding the former, it is polite to say thanks of course, but to expect it and threaten to never give again is just really odd to me.

Serialweightwatcher · 01/02/2017 20:22

MelOrSue - maybe so with her not being English - maybe she thinks it just goes without saying that we're all such nice employees as you and it's normal - wouldn't that be nice! - I think you do sound like a great employer

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