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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to expect employee to say thank you for Christmas Bonus?

154 replies

Booper42 · 30/01/2017 17:21

I am self employed and at Christmas gave all my employees a generous Christmas Bonus - out of the 7 employees only 3 thanked me for their Bonus. I have waited for the others to at least say thankyou or acknowledge that they have recieved the money (sent via online banking). One of the employees has now asked for more money - if she didn't appreciate the £500 I gave her, why should I give her anymore especially when she doesn't appear to be putting in a great deal of effort into her work at the moment!

Is it me, or is this how employees are these days?

OP posts:
AyeAmarok · 30/01/2017 17:55

The bonus is how you say thank you to them for their hard work. It's not a gift you've given them. It doesn't sound like you're cut out to be an employer if you don't want to give deserving staff a bonus they've earned because they didn't thank you.

YABU.

Sammysquiz · 30/01/2017 17:56

I think, as a show of gratitude they should all hang a picture of you in their houses and celebrate the day you were born OP

That's really unfair - OP is only asking for a thank you. She's self-employed, it's her money she's paying bonuses out of!

GrumpyOldBag · 30/01/2017 17:57

Working in a series of relatively small companies I have always thanked the CEO/founder of the company for any bonuses I have received.

I am well brung up, I am.

CrotchetQuaverMinim · 30/01/2017 17:57

I'd have assumed that a bonus was you saying thank you to them for the good work they'd done! And you don't tend to respond to thank you cards, for example, with further thank yous, or you'd get into an endless spiral.

Obviously you don't see the bonus in that way; you see it more as a special gift that you're choosing to bestow on them, but I can imagine how they might take it as a thank you for their efforts, just because that is how it might be in other situations.

Plus it is often very awkward to talk about money, even saying thank you, with a boss or someone like that. Sort of feels like it reinforces them being superior I guess, and just hard to bring up.

But my guess is that they felt you were thanking them rather than giving them a gift, and it's just that miscommunication that now leads to problems. I expect they were glad of the money!

AyeAmarok · 30/01/2017 17:57

She's self-employed, it's her money she's paying bonuses out of!

Yes, her money, that was earned for her by the employees.

Bunnyfuller · 30/01/2017 17:58

I work in public services, never had a bonus.

Can I have one from you please, I promise I will write you a lovely thank you email!

Strongmummy · 30/01/2017 17:59

Is this a joke? You pay a bonus to say thank you to your employees for meeting objectives and increasing profit if your business. Why on earth would you expect them to thank you? If they have met performance criteria and you have met your operating margin then they have earned it!!!!

7SunshineSeven7 · 30/01/2017 18:00

I have a theory that if a business can afford a 'bonus' each year, then perhaps the salaries should be higher

This! If they're working so well and hard that they deserve bonuses, why not just give them all a raise!

ALittleMop · 30/01/2017 18:02

I've only ever had one Christmas bonus, but then I generally work for small charities - all publicly or philanthropically funded so its not in the culture. One year, because there was earned income surplus we all got £300 extra and we were all BLOWN AWAY.

It is impolite IMO not to acknowledge a bonus (dependent on the organisation - sounds like you are a small business owner OP - it is basically a gift) It is just plain unreasonable to ask for more unless its an expected part of the employment contract and based on % of profits etc.

happypoobum · 30/01/2017 18:08

So have they never had a bonus before - this was new? Did you send a letter explaining they were getting a bonus? Some might think they have been accidentally overpaid and be keeping quiet about it? Grin Some might not even have noticed!!

If you don't normally do this and notified them, then yes YANBU for expecting a thank you. I would have said thanks, I wasn't expecting that, it will come in really useful.

2017BetterKickAss · 30/01/2017 18:08

Hi Booper

I think you, sadly, opened the door to the request for more money and the lack of thank you messages by way of semantics. Was your intention to indeed BONUS your staff, or to GIFT them? It appears most thought they earned it.

If one thinks of a bonus as a Performance Bonus - rewarding performance in the prior year and incentivizing excellent performance in the current year - then it is indeed something that was earned, and somewhat expected. If one thinks of giving a holiday gift, then it is unearned, without regard to performance or other criteria, and requires a thank you, like any other gift. Period.

I have found that clarifying what is being given/paid makes a world of difference. And yes, it astonishes me how few people say thank you to their employers.

ParadiseCity · 30/01/2017 18:11

I always email to say thank you after salary review or if there is a bonus. Apparently I'm the only member of staff who does.

ClarkL · 30/01/2017 18:12

I think there is a huge difference between large companies and smaller businesses. Both my husband and I own our own separate companies. He has staff working for him and they get a bonus most Christmases, depending on performance depends on how much of a bonus, occasionally through the year if they've had a particularly tough week or someone has gone the extra mile we pay them a bonus but aim to do it irregularly so it isn't expected. They always say thank you, and if they didn't we'd be considering if they fit within our culture.
We don't have to give a bonus, we don't have to pay them extra we do it because we can and we want to. The minute anyone was ungrateful, asking for more or expecting, it wouldn't be forthcoming! As for paying them more if we can afford to pay a bonus NOPE! not on your life, sorry they get paid a wage they have agreed to it. We don't lower their wage based on our increased costs (rents, changes in taxes etc, work place pensions) so we don't pay them more because one year we do particularly well, there's no guarantee next year will be profitable and that an increased wage can be sustained.

Xmasbaby11 · 30/01/2017 18:14

Yabu. I wouldn't thank an employer for that.

Trollspoopglitter · 30/01/2017 18:14

Never. The bonus is a monetary "thank you" for my work. And frankly a very small monetary gesture given my countless unpaid overtime, the expectation to reply to urgent communication on weekends and evenings, etc.

And if you "surprised" them by just putting it in and not writing them, then no wonder one of them asked for more.

Trollspoopglitter · 30/01/2017 18:17

"They always say thank you, and if they didn't we'd be considering if they fit within our culture.
We don't have to give a bonus, we don't have to pay them extra we do it because we can and we want to. The minute anyone was ungrateful, asking for more or expecting, it wouldn't be forthcoming! "

And if they're good at their job, they can quit, work for your competitor, and take away some of your clients. You sound like you think you're Lord Business Hmm

Nemosnemsis · 30/01/2017 18:19

I have over 100 emplyees currently and wouldn't expect each person to thank me for their bonuses (albeit the bonus is somewhati smaller than what you are giving out).

I have also previously worked for a small business of a similar size to yours, and in that case my boss gave me my christmas bonus by hand, in the form of a cheque inside a Christmas card, so I could thank him at the time.

Lets face it, we give out bonuses to keep employees sweet and reward/encourage loyalty and hard work over the rest of the year. It's not a 'gift' as such. I think you might be focusing a bit too much on the wrong things.

barinatxe · 30/01/2017 18:20

I don't think you have the right to expect a thank you. It would be polite of them but a bonus is usually given because an employee has earned it (great work, going above the call of duty, loyalty) or because they are contractually entitled to it if they meet certain criteria. In either case they (presumably) deserve the bonus, so I don't think they should be obliged to thank you in the same way that they (presumably) don't thank you for their wages every month.

Like I say, it would be polite to thank you - but perhaps they are embarrassed about doing so. Especially over a month later. I presume they had a payslip or letter informing them - if you just transferred it to their bank accounts unannounced, perhaps they genuinely didn't see it?

BoneyBackJefferson · 30/01/2017 18:21

IMO it depends on why you gave them the bonus, If it was because they met preset targets that have been set by you, then as it is contractual then no they shouldn't be saying thank you as it is part of their job and YABU, If you just felt like it then a thank you would be nice YANBU

But If you are doing it to get a thank you from them then YABU.

rookiemere · 30/01/2017 18:22

If the employees didn't get any notification of their bonus, but instead got the increased cash amount, they may not even know they received one.

My salary gets paid directly into the joint account and as DH is self employed, he's the one who keeps an eye on the finances mostly.

Did you send them an email, or letter to tell them specifically that the bonus was a thank you for their efforts during the year, as that should have prompted a thank you?

I work for a large organisation and will always say thank you for anything anyone has personally done for me - be they junior or senior. Last year our head of function very kindly bought us all a bottle of prosecco each so I emailed him thank you, just as I emailed this years head who is a mingy git donated two boxes of Quality street for the entire department.
My bonus is paid for from the company so I don't need to thank anyone for that I feel, although I do thank my line manager for giving me a good rating to get me a slightly bigger bonus.

mambono5 · 30/01/2017 18:23

A bonus with a hand-written card is so personal in a small company, of course it should get a thank you.

In a big corporation, I don't think it ever occurred to me to really thank anyone. I can't remember anyone thanking me either. I would more expect an angry reaction if the bonus was too small.

Gwenhwyfar · 30/01/2017 18:25

The only time I received a bonus it was in cash so of course I said thank you when handed it. I don't know what I would have done if it had gone in the bank. It's quite embarrassing to go and knock on your boss's door to say thank you for money isn't it?

Nemosnemsis · 30/01/2017 18:28

clarkL I don't know what business you are in, but your attitude is bizarre. If you don't know how to reward hard work and expertise, don't be surprised when your best employees get headhunted by your competitors.

TinselTwins · 30/01/2017 18:32

It is surely good manners to thank someone for money you were not expecting isn't it? Christmas bonuses (in areas where they happen), are not unexpected.
And they are usually earnt/deserved. Mine were, in fact they barely made a dent in covering all the extra I do!

You are basically saying that your employees should thank you for thanking them!

fourandnomore · 30/01/2017 18:35

I may be being a little naive but you mention that you didn't tell them that they were getting them, is there any chance they actually don't know they got them. I rarely used to even look at my bank account when I was working as I knew I didn't overspend and I knew I was paid enough to cover it. If they know they've had more money than expected they may not even realise it's from you. Perhaps worth telling them they are getting it next time. I agree though that if they do know it is rude not to acknowledge it in some way.