to have a go at DD for faking sick off of work?

[Thornberries]

DD is 17 and has a job in a supermarket. She has only been there 5 months. She is due back at work tomorrow night and admitted to me that "she lied about being ill, so she could get some school work done" can I just say, I haven't made her get a job, this job is so she can have money to go out with friends, etc. (I don't have a lot of money and can't afford things like that).

She has only been there 5 months!! Took 2 days off for sickness (she only does 2 shifts a week). So took a whole week AIBU to have a bit of a moan?? She wasn't even ill!

By being out sick her work had to be done by the other people on her shift, making it harder and more stressful for them.

If she is worried about her schoolwork then she might be better off giving up the job until after her exams. If she isn't going out so much, because she is studying, then she won't need as much money. I think her employer would find it more mature for a student to explain they are having problems coping with both than for an employee to take sick days on a regular basis. Eventually she will be fired for doing that, and she'll probably end up on a 'do not hire' list. At least if she explains what is going on and gives notice there is a better chance of her being hired at another store if she wants part time work while at university.

In addition jobs like this can be a useful source of references for other part time or full time work. If the reference is 'X seemed to be quite sickly and needed a lot of time off' it isn't going to encourage people to hire her.

How many A Levels is she doing? Does she do any other activities, eg. volunteering, sports, drama/dance etc? It hasn't been (that) long since I did my A Levels, and I was managing a load of extras plus trying to have a social life - there's no way I could have fitted in a part time job. I agree that the dishonesty is an issue, so by all means mention it don't be too harsh on her about it - she's done it for her studies.

Get her to make a list of the things that she does during the week, including rough time scales of how long it takes to complete everything. This might help her to prioritise and cut down on areas that are eating into her study time.

I don't think moaning is helpful in the circumstances. Discussing her options to improve her academics with her, pointing out she could lose her job if she keeps taking time off "sick", and discussing the ethics of lying to an employer would be reasonable.

It sounds like she's panicking a bit over her mocks? One thing she needs to realise is that a week or two of pulling out all the stops isn't going to have a huge impact on her two year course. She needs a long term study plan. So is she going to keep the job and increase studying at other times, or drop the job to free up more time? Either way, calling in sick isn't going to work over the long haul.

mumwithovertime: Sorry, how what?

"If she can't handle the job as well as her studies the answer is to resign, not lie hmm I was working 40 hour weeks at 17, doing A levels and with a busy social life - it's not that hard to plan for your workload."

How did you fit all this in ?

mumwithovertime: I did evening shifts, weekends and night shifts. I did a lot of my school work on my breaks. I did more of it in my free periods. I worked late in my job and got up early to study, or I went out with friends and got up early to work. Not what I would recommend for any length of time, but a healthy 16 year old should really be able to manage 14-16 hours work a week and still keep up with A levels.

17 year old

I'm impressed !

mumwithovertime: I think sometimes it makes me a little less sympathetic than I would be otherwise when my A level students tell me they didn't have time to write an essay

That's understandable , I was a teacher ( primary ) before my children , I've always put education first ( no pressure ) to value it and make the best of it , when I see my children working so hard to get to the next stage ( more ambition than me ) I'm happy to be financial back up

yabu

she prioritised her school work over a minimum wage, part time job, the money from which only effects her.

she has her priorities sorted.
you don't seem to. but that's no why yabu, yabu cos it's none of your business. her job, her money, her a levels, her future, her choice.

"Tell your dd to be very careful as she'll recieve disciplinarys and could lose her job."

So what? She doesn't live off it. It doesn't have to appear on her CV.

"FGS! At 17 I had an apprenticeship - with a 90 min each way commute, a bar job and I worked in chip shop. (wasn't living with parents so really needed the ££)"

Wow impressive - have a medal

I'm surprised at the number of people who think it's fine to screw over an employer because you are 'prioritising your studies'. If you don't need money to live and you wish to prioritise your studies, don't take the job. I'm not saying I've never thrown a sickie (far from it - no saints here!) but let's not pretend it's the 'right' thing to do because it's 'only Sainsbury's'

I think for most posters on this thread agreeing that she should prioritise her studies the suggestion has been that she should resign from the job, rather than keep throwing sickies

"I'm surprised at the number of people who think it's fine to screw over an employer because you are 'prioritising your studies'. "

A few days off work or your whole future? Mm, let me think.
By the way, in 1999 Lord Sainsbury was the 75th richest person in the world.

To be honest you aren't her employer so you can't tell her off. That's it really, she can make her own decisions and if need be face consequences, however you are her mother and mother employer so you don't et a say at all.

Has she worked through her probationary period? If not (it may be 6 months), they could easily dismiss her and send her home with no job.

Or she could be put on an attendance review after her return to work interview, and then possibly escape losing her job.

I've read more of the thread and I didn't realise that everyone is exactly the same, go figure. Maybe I shouldn't be stressed with my life because other people aren't, mind fucking blown. In case some of you didn't et the sarcasm, your experiences and how fucking amazing you are (martyr springs to mind) have no effect on anyone else's struggle, if you can't give advice or can't help bugging yourself up, do not comment.

Bigging not bugging

"Has she worked through her probationary period? If not (it may be 6 months), they could easily dismiss her and send her home with no job."

It's a part-time teenage job. For one thing, it's probably casual so no probationary period and secondly, so what if they dismiss her? She doesn't live off the job, it's just for some extra spending money.

She didn't get paid, but not really the point.

I think it is relevant, though - if she pulls a sickie and gets paid, she's fraudulently claimed pay she's not entitled to. If she pulls a sickie and she doesn't get paid, it's far less of a problem IMO.

Either way, personally I'd let her get on with it and make her own decisions. She's 17, not 10. It's up to her to decide whether school work or a part-time is more important. I had a part-time job from the age of 15 and I missed a few shifts to do school work too. Some weeks I had more homework than others and I felt the homework was more important. I don't regret that decision and I'd do the same again if I was juggling work and education.

she could be put on an attendance review after her return to work interview, and then possibly escape losing her job.

We're talking about a teenager doing two shifts a week for pocket money. She's not an adult supporting a family. None of this is likely to matter very much to her. She's unlikely to have a problem getting casual work somewhere else if she gets sacked.