to have a go at DD for faking sick off of work?

[Thornberries]

DD is 17 and has a job in a supermarket. She has only been there 5 months. She is due back at work tomorrow night and admitted to me that "she lied about being ill, so she could get some school work done" can I just say, I haven't made her get a job, this job is so she can have money to go out with friends, etc. (I don't have a lot of money and can't afford things like that).

She has only been there 5 months!! Took 2 days off for sickness (she only does 2 shifts a week). So took a whole week AIBU to have a bit of a moan?? She wasn't even ill!

She has to make a choice. Either:

Quit work and focus on her A-levels knowing better grades at those are likely to open up more doors for her in the future (including higher paid jobs).

Or keep working, knowing that it's causing stress, could affect her A-levels, but has the short-term benefit of being paid.

A summer job (or two), with the stress of A-levels out of the way, may be what I was trying to encourage if she was really keen on earning money before her next step.

dont be hard on her.
she has learnt the lesson herself.

I think having a go at her was pretty mean & unproductive. She'll just lie to you next time. She took time off work to study, not go out partying. I think she has her priorities right, even if she didn't maybe go about it in the right way. You should be helping her through these decisions, not 'having a go'.

Most of the time she should be able to manage both, but when she can't, I know which I'd rather she didn't do. She should be able to tell work the truth though, but if they'll penalise her for putting her study first, then they're kind of asking to be lied to. She needs to know she's risking l losing her job though, but it's hardly the end of the world is it. It's pocket money, not paying the rent.

YANBU. Aside from issues over studying/time management the thing that would bother me is the dishonestly. She has lied to her employer about being ill. That shows a lack of good character and you would be right to want to talk to her about that.

YABU her studies are much more important.If she was calling in sick just because she didn't feel like it, as others have said it is she who would take the consequences anyway (if she got fired and had no money ). It is good she is taking steps to rectify things after being disappointed with her mock results

Bloody hell OP you've just said where she works,I'd get this thread removed because the newspapers are notorious for coming on here and printing the threads they find in they're newspapers for all to read and all though this won't be one of the most exciting threads for them to steal they've taken lots of other every day threads of here before!

With regards to your DD maybe she's not ready to have a job yet,I'd sit her down and talk to her and tell her how good it would look for her future CV the fact that she'd chosen to get a part time job whilst still studying,it would show any future employers that she's a hard worker with good time management(if she's goes back into work and doesn't take of any more time when she doesn't need to) and that she's not afraid of hard work.

I say leave her to it. She is 17 so her time is her own to manage. If she loses the job, it's lesson learned isn't it.

I think if she is worried about her school work that she should quit the job and focus on her studies.

I doubt if two shifts a week in itself would be enough to make it impossible to do her work.

I'd be talking to her about the lying to her employer (I think the reason is irrelevant in terms of her attitude to the workplace) and be discussing time management with her especially if she plans to move to higher education.

For what it's worth , I have 5 dc , 2 already at uni , 1 hoping to go in September and twins studying for GCSE 's , we are not wealthy , they get a small amount of pocket money and maybe extra cash if going out with friends ( never huge amounts ) the 3 aged 18 and over have never worked ( but have volunteered ) as they study so hard , at school and home that I feel they need the time left to relax .
My 18 year old spent her weekend studying and volunteering at the local hospice , she works extremely hard ( too much ) but her focus is the university place studying dietetics , she also has pain amplification syndrome which doesn't help!
I don't think there's anything wrong with part time jobs through A levels but seeing how much time my daughter spends working I doubt she could manage a job as well .

"I think she's shown maturity in prioritising a long term goal (her studies) over short term gain. She won't get another chance at an education but there are thousands of minimum wage supermarket jobs out there."

I also think education is more important than a part-time job at 17.
I also don't see the problem if she loses the job, she doesn't have to put it on her CV and it's not like it'll follow her forever like if you get sacked from a job as an adult.

FGS! At 17 I had an apprenticeship - with a 90 min each way commute, a bar job and I worked in chip shop. (wasn't living with parents so really needed the ££)

2 shifts a week is hardly nose to the grindstone stuff. Her behaviour is quite flaky.

She spent the two days making flash cards to help her study because she's worried about her grades? What a sensible girl.

I don't think everyone can cope with a job and a-levels at the same time - I'm pretty sure I couldn't have. I'd suggest that, rather than telling her off, you have a chat about how she's coping and discuss whether she'd be better off leaving her job/reducing hours so she can focus.
She may not have been ill this time, but if she's struggling to balance work and studying she may make herself ill, and do worse at both.

Is she paid for her shifts off sick? If so it's dishonesty x 2 - not only telling a lie but profiting from it. I think if you're talking to her about this you might also (if you haven't already) point out that the manager will be scrambling to find a replacement; if they can't the other staff will have longer queues/problems stacking; customers will queue longer or not find things they want. Perhaps she should consider just going down to one shift if she is (admirably) concerned about her grades - and just accept the consequence of less money.

It doesn't show maturity. Maturity means planning and balancing your time, not binning one commitment to meet another because you haven't done so.

Yabu.
We're having discussions with eldest daughter about this at the moment as she's stressed to the eyeballs with her A Levels (tough stem subjects) and her part time job, working 10 hours a week, seems to be the thing to tip her over the edge. She had a panic attack at work last week worrying about her A level workload. I don't want a part time minimum wage job to distract her from A Levels which will play a huge part in her long term goal, so suggested she drop the job(which she was hugely relieved by)

She prioritised her studies over a shitty job in a supermarket. I wouldn't be impressed that she lied to her employer either but as she probably doesn't get to take holiday when she needs it I wouldn't be too angry. Bigger picture. Yes to a time management chat, and I'd also want to make sure that she hasn't taken on more paid work than she can cope with.

If she can't handle the job as well as her studies the answer is to resign, not lie I was working 40 hour weeks at 17, doing A levels and with a busy social life - it's not that hard to plan for your workload.

How ? Trifle

It might not have been hard for you, but not everyone is the same. At 17, doing tough A level courses and suffering from anxiety as my daughter does, it's not just a case of stop whining and pull yourself up by your bootstraps. I've worked some really shitty, stressful jobs in the past and never found anything as rough as A Levels.

"FGS! At 17 I had an apprenticeship - with a 90 min each way commute, a bar job and I worked in chip shop."

Yes, and children used to be sent up chimneys. I don't see what your experience has to do with it. I wish I'd concentrated more on my studies when I was 17. You have your whole life to be doing paid work.

Did she get sick pay?

If yes then it's definitely the wrong thing to have done.

I used to work for sainsburys and they were pretty strict on sickness absences.

Rightly so.

She didn't get paid, but not really the point.

How does the attendance work out? At that age I took 1 1/2 shifts off with tonsillitis and had to have a review as my attendance percentage had dropped below 97%. Would she be able to lie through that discussion?