Parenting tips that aren't shit

[Rory786]

Hi all, Im loving the household tips that aren't shit thread, so here's a spin off. I'm desperate for parenting tips.
I have 2 teen boys doing GCSE's and 3 girls 4yrs, 22 months and 8 months. I'm being pulled all over the place, helping with algebra while changing nappies and doing finger painting.
At the moment I'm relying heavily on the iPad. Leaving the house seems so hard, we live in the country, can't walk anywhere and trying to defrost the car with the little ones seems so hard. The boys take the bus to school.
dd1 will be starting school in Sept and I'm dreading the school run.
Any tips appreciated, thanks.

Oh sorry I didn't explain that well. The new release newsletters they do every season. Big toy store chains do them too, by the door.

Ooh thanks, I didn't even think of stuff like that!

Following

Mine is don't compare your insides with everyone else's outsides. By which I mean that social media is mostly fake. We are all flawed and make mistakes. Try to dust yourself off at the end of the horrid, screamy days, give yourself some grace and remember tomorrow is a new day.

If you have drinks in cartons, fold the top two corners out for kids to hold instead of the carton sides - holding the "wings" means no squirting juice everywhere. See pic (from Google search) :)

Don't have to bath little ones every night.

Get all kids above 2 yrs to help with chores. We all blitz house for half an hour after dinner - they all scrap their plates then 3 yr old emptys and fills dishwasher supervised, 5 yr old tidies sittingroom and hall, 8 yr old hoovers or something. They then all pack their bags for school and lay out uniforms. Shoes lined up at the door.

Get a rota drawn up! Mine used to whine if I asked them to lay the table; lots of " but I did it 3 years ago last Friday! " Rota jobs in with everyone's agreement then no one can moan (well, they can but keep referring to the rota! )
For the older ones, notes left on the front door to remind them to take keys, mobiles, have you turned your light out etc.
I second the "get one out, put one away" style of playing. Mine did it, tho on occasions I threatened to throw the lego out the window if it wasn't picked up. Only needed to do that once, as the lego bounced off the tree they were picking the rest up like lightening!
When they are getting ready for school and cleaning their teeth, whoever is cleaning their teeth cleans the sink for the next one. You can guarantee that if the sink is left messy, the next one to use it will hot foot it down to tell you! Saves all that toothpaste spit for you to clean up.
For the younger ones, make Cbeebies your friend!

Any letters from school, party invites, hospital appointments etc, as soon as you get the letter, write it on the calendar, add it to any electronic calendars, then take a photo of the letter on your phone (I have a separate folder) then the letter can be binned.

If binning is a step too far clip letters in a magnetic peg on the fridge and cull it each month.

If you have teens, share an electronic calendar (we use outlook) so they can add stuff to it and avoid the "but I told you I have to be at the trampoline park for 8 for Chloe's birthday"

A big box (ikea fabric ones here) in the hall for each DC to put their shoes in.

I've realised these are organisational rather than parenting but that was what I found hardest with multiple DC.

One of those pocket style shoe hangers is ideal for storing other things. We have two - one on the coat hook in the hallway and each pocket (named with a sharpie) has either a hat and gloves or a sunhat and sunglasses. When we come it hats and gloves go straight in the pocket. I also keep school ties in it. The second one is next to the baby's cot. Each pocket has a sleepsuit, vest, nappy and bib in it. Means I can just grab and change. If I'm going out I grab each bundle and put it in a nappy bag meaning the only thing I have to hunt for in my bag is wipes. Just make sure you don't get smelly nappy bags.

Let them serve themselves potatoes and vegetables at dinner time. Yes, last night that meant the 3yo ate a tonne of carrots and no broccoli or peas, but she ate a tonne of carrots. The 8yo then decided he fancied lots of broccoli and peas. Less waste, no tantrums and more veg into the kids.

Pick your battles. Does it really matter if he wears his wellies to the supermarket in the summer? Will anyone at the post office really think badly of you if she's dressed as superman? No, it really doesn't.

Races. If you can turn it into a race then kids will love it. Last upstairs... Last to the bathroom... I can gather more bits of Lego than you... Turn it into a game and life is much easier.

Reward jars. Tonight we counted pieces of pasta in my 3yo's reward jar. She had 12 bits so she won... An extra 15 minutes to play in her bath. Last week she won an extra 5 minutes to play with her playdoh. At the moment she's "winning" a lot because she's getting praise for being kind to the baby. A couple of months ago she "won" a lot because she stopped being a nightmare when we were trying to leave the house. They win. You lose nothing (last week DD won using the grown up shampoo... no tears when hair washing was way more of a win for me!).

Egg timers. They are worth their weight in gold. We use them for the end of play. So they don't feel like their play has been abruptly or unfairly brought to an end. They know that in 3 minutes it's bedtime/dinnertime/bath time or whatever. It's especially good if you play the "Right it's time for bed... Oh you know what, why don't you turn your timer over and have a couple of extra minutes!" card.

The only advice I have really is PLAN to within an inch of your life
If I don't plan I'm like a whirlwind but get nothing done! So all uniform is hung ready for the next day, washing is done on certain days, cleaning is on a rota, meals are planned etc.
And also, don't forget about yourself, if you're happy then everyone else can be happy.

Food stays in the kitchen, water only in the rest of the house (unless the littlies are in bed)- saves on housework.

Put the eldest two to work.
Mine took turns supervising the others for the after school slot, so I could get tea ready/read with whoever needed it/do some housework. They got a significant pocket money upgrade for this and it also helps them bond.
Get eldest to do own washing or other big chore. Again, negotiate an increased allowance.

Use story CDs at bedtime. Not instead of one to one time, but to keep them in bed after you have gone.

CBeebies bedtime hour signifies bedtime. All the children in the world go to bed when CBeebies bedtime song comes on. You can tell because the TV stops afterward. Never ever let on that this isn't true.

I had six aged btn newborn and 14, all with some level of additional need (foster carer).

Shoe tubs. All belongings in own bedrooms. Shoes, scarves, gloves etc.

Lunch boxes? Make sandwiches at the weekend (certain fillings only), wrap and freeze. Frozen frubes, juice boxes, tubs of chopped veg. Packets of Doriano wrapped crackers, juice boxes and UHT milk boxes. Freeze Capri sun and juice boxes. Putting frozen things in means it all stays fresh in the summer.

Makes lunch boxes a 'pick four things' job.

Never allow fruit in bedroom unless you like cleaning carpets

Love the egg timer idea!

When you are cleaning give toddlers their own duster/cloth etc and they enjoy helping.

If you get the Book People or similar visiting at work look out for the packs of kids' books that are 10 for £10. Then give individual books as birthday gifts at children's parties or stocking fillers for your own DC.

Designate everyone in the house their own colour of toothbrush and always buy the same colours so they don't get mixed up. You could extend this to face cloths and towels if you're not bothered about them matching.

Keep crayons etc out of reach of toddlers then they can't draw on the walls while you're not looking!

These are all great tips!

Here's mine:
I Have a largish make up bag with a zip packed and in the car which I can grab when needed or when going to a restaurant. I put little toys that are a pain to have in the house and stuff out of party bags/stickers in so that they are not cluttering the place up. My son likes discovering these when we go out and keeps him entertained if needed.
I also keep a bag for life in the boot with a spare baby blanket. Top for each child, nappies, wipe, nappy bags, wet bag for dirty clothes etc. This has saved my bacon on many occasions!

One from virus-central here tonight.....
Give calpol to your toddlers in the bath. That way when they grab the spoon or syringe, you can wash them off when they cover themselves in sticky medicine!
.... other brands of paracetamol are available of course

Get organized the night before as others have said shoes, clothes, underwear and anything else they might need.

Establish a sort of bedtime routine and no technology just before bed or in bedrooms (charge downstairs). No TVs in bedrooms to encourage quiet independent reading when they get older.
I haven't really mastered getting them to help round the house but I have a cleaner comes every Thursday so I insist their bedrooms are tidied every Wednesday night.
When homework kicks in encourage them to do it early Sunday afternoon has never worked well for us and I can imagine after tea on Sunday would be even worse.

miaowthecat there are loads of old bedtime stories plus song on YouTube for exactly such times!

Synched electronic calendars are a lifesaver these days for family organisation. I can't get over friends who still need to wait until they get home to check he family wall planner/ask DH when we all have ours with us, up to date at all times.

Storage and training DC to use is always the key at home. Like previous posters we have boxes in the hall for shoes/hats etc

Jean pockets of outgrown jeans make brilliant patches for knees of jeans. Even with my very basic seeing by hand skills they look good. I was shocked at cost and difficulty of finding patches in stores, I guess it's cos the trousers are so much cheaper than when we were kids but seems so wasteful.

From about 3yo they can work a CD player, and have story CDs to listen to when they can't sleep or if they're really tired and don't want to read. It means that I have a simple solution for a child who can't sleep, and it does wonders for their vocabulary, too.

Start early with jobs and make them at the same time you're doing a chore, so it feels like teamwork. So I might be emptying the dishwasher while one child is laying the table and the other is making the porridge in the morning.

Have a box labelled 'too small' for each child in an easily accessible place, and encourage them to use it. That way, the too small clothes get gradually filtered out, rather than shoved back in the drawer. It's especially good for tights, as otherwise I could never tell which pair of grey school tights I was meant to be replacing and which were fine.

Pampers disposable change mats are the best thing for mopping up vomit. They just absorb it - chunks and all - then you can throw them away. No rinsing out vommy cloths!

Food related - The BEST thing which worked for ds, when trying something new, was to whisper 'shhh, don't say anything but that was going to be for Daddy' if he thinks he's got something meant for his Dad then he will try it. Also if dp tells him 'I really don't think you'll like this' ds wolfs it down! Reverse psychology really does work in this house. We haven't had to do this at every meal, just those times when I've offered something new and thought he might not eat it. Works 99% of the time.

When practising any new maths problems, ds works so well with the whiteboard, rather than pencil and paper. We have a large one, which you can get from Asda's kitchen aisle for about £2.50.

Oh and the "anything not tidied up within 10 minutes goes in the outside bin" rule really works. I've barely ever actually thrown stuff away (once or twice has been enough to prove I really mean it!)

Ruby Yes, that food one works. I've got in the habit of cooking something slightly more adventurous on the night that dd1 comes back late from Beavers (as otherwise she's in bed by the time we eat). She's already had her tea, this is ours, but she inevitably wants to try some and I'm eventually persuaded to let her... Now she likes risotto, Thai curry, anything with mustard.

Works a treat doesn't it Giery. Ds eats so well and now he will try new, unusual food without batting an eyelid.