That cutting benefits to widow/ers with young children by over twenty thousand pounds is heartless and cruel?

[Somerville]

My DH was diagnosed with lymphoma in 2013 and died in 2014. During both the period he was ill, and immediately afterwards, it was extremely difficult for me to continue working. A well as caring for him and then dealing with the huge administrative burden, I have children for whom continuing to attend school every day and 'cope' with normal life was impossible. Alongside all that I had to somehow try to find a way to live with my own grief. And then get out and learn a living - as a freelancer I'd have had no income at all unless I continued to work.

The bereavement benefits I received helped me immeasurably.

• I got a bereavement payment of £2000 which helped cover the immediate few months after his death when I could barely get dressed - let alone work.

• I also got a monthly amount of widowed parents allowance - about £450. (Non means tested but taxable, meaning that as my earnings increased I returned some of this to the government through my tax bill. However, I knew the safety net was there when my earnings dropped again - as indeed they did at one point when one of my children could only manage half days at school.)

I've remarried so no longer qualify - fair enough - but if hadn't I'd have received this until my youngest child left school.

However, the support available for parents who are experience the devastation of becoming widowed after April 1st this year is changing.

• £3,500 immediately.
• £100 per month for the next 18 months.

That's it.

Research by the Childhood Bereavement Network (CBN) suggests 91% of widowed parents will be supported for a shorter period of time than they would under the current system, which can pay out until the youngest child leaves school. It says the typical working family will lose out on more than £12,000, and expects a working parent with young children to lose even more – £23,500 on average. link here

Widowed parents are lone parents without any shared care with an ex partner. Without any maintenance payments from a former partner. And with bereaved, confused and devastated children.

How about it MN? Am I unreasonable to think this change is cruel? And if not, what can I do about it?

I thought the OP was referring to the time when she was lone.... I'm wondering why anyone is even disagreeing on this thread. should the widows allowance be cut? No. Should there be more help for children who have only one parent that cares about them? Yes. Should widows be penalised because kids escaping DV don't get enough help? No.

Newbrummie do you have existing health conditions?

AndNowItsSeven - I had special conditions added due to heart issues, but I took it out the moment I got pregnant with my first, it's just what you do isn't it ?

I lost my fiance while I was pregnant with DD. We weren't married, therefore, I got absolutely nothing. I had my maternity leave and was back at work when DD was 8 months old. That's even LESS fair

Another reason why I just roll my eyes when people tell me getting married doesn't mean anything and 'it's just a bit of paper'
Love isn't always enough!

I barely break even at the end of each month (I'm talking pennies left in bank account) where am I supposed to 'find' £40 a month?! And I'm better off than the families falling between the cracks, homeless, using food banks etc

'And tbh it's rare that people fall on hard times through no fault of their own. I can trace back all the shit that happened in my life to bad decision, it's always your own fault if you're brutally honest with yourself.'

Jesus wept! Speak for yourself and please educate yourself because making stupid generalisations doesn't do you any favours.

Let me pull out my magic wand, Graphista. Doesn't everyone have one? It's just not an option not to.

Well exactly! Plus I'd love to know how my ex cheating, me struggling as a lone parent with no support in any way and then having a breakdown I'm STILL recovering from is MY fault?

Wow, this is awful - I had no idea. Thank you for posting, OP. This bloody government.

Same here, Graph. I'd like to know how my daughter's cancer and premature death at the age of 9 and my son's autism are my fault. Or how exactly it's possible to magic up money because according to Newbrummie it is! You just 'find it somewhere'.

You prioritise, life insurance as far as I'm concerned comes before any other bill, it's £10 ffs

'You prioritise, life insurance as far as I'm concerned comes before any other bill, it's £10 ffs'

PMSL! Fuck my LL, the council with their poxy tax, the leccy and gas meters, my kids clothes and shoes, I must prioritise. It's £10 a week more than a lot of people have! Is that so hard to understand?

I've been on income support with 4 kids and found a tenner. It's not that hard whatever you want to tell yourself, fuck I saved on IS and paid my bills

It's not a competition as to who's had the worst, who's life is the shittest. We all have to make decisions don't we and for me the idea of leaving my kids with my twat of an ex and no money horrified me more than going without fags, food, everything tbh

I dont smoke drink and manage to spend £40a week on food for 5 of us and still dont have enough for life insurance. What else is there to cut dp and i both work. Sorry kids we cant eat this week might work and i guess starving will mean we wont have to worry about li

"I lost my fiance while I was pregnant with DD. We weren't married, therefore, I got absolutely nothing. I had my maternity leave and was back at work when DD was 8 months old. That's even LESS fair"

"Another reason why I just roll my eyes when people tell me getting married doesn't mean anything and 'it's just a bit of paper'
Love isn't always enough!"

True - but he died 3 weeks before our wedding day.

Chickennuggetfeeder - I don't know what you expect in response to that, as I say in benefits I managed to find it

Of course you did, New. Sure. No one needs food to live and everyone on benefits smokes.

I smoked lol

You just magic it up, Chicken, doncha know? I'm still wanting to know how the hard times we fell on, one child got cancer and died and another was diagnosed with autism, is my fault and the result of bad decisions . . . . curious. Someone needs to let all the scientists know: paediatric cancer is caused by the parent's bad decision! Eureka! Fuck all that research you're dong.

lemonylemon

Trolling away slightly I'd say.

As a smoker your life insurance was only a tenner a week?!
If that is true you must be lucky with excellent family health history, no health conditions yourself, and the level of cover must have been low or with loads of exclusions.

Somerville - I started it at 24

Yes it is unfair to cut this.
Anyone with genetic illnesses like my DP can not get it covered by life insurance or critical illness. Insurers always exclude it. Also those saying it is only £10 a month must be young and healthy.