AIBU DH's comment okay'ing me to have sex with PT

[Ginatfourpmisfine]

I've moved my original message to AIBU for more traffic.

I'm happily married with a fairly healthy, normal sex life. Just joined a gym with a female friend and am having sessions with a Personal Trainer.

I was talking to DH about my last session and commented how both me and my friend think our PT is a good looking guy who could have any woman he wanted. DH then swiftly replies 'well I wouldn't mind if you wanted to shag him' with a shrug. Matter of fact. I told him I didn't want to have sex with anyone else and so on but was immediately pised off that he'd said it so matter of factory and in such a carefree way.

I keep thinking about his comment and I'm upset by it. I know it would be a massive turn on for him if it did actually happen but is this right? For my husband to be so nonchalant about this?

What's the general consensus? Am I being too sensitive? Or are all men like this??

38Cody - I would feel like your husband would. For my DH it's something very different and that's what I'm struggling with

Er, so you know he has a cuckolding fetish, you decided to play out the beginning of every cuckolding fantasy ever with him, and now you're upset he mentioned the obvious?

If you're not into it that's fine, but there's a vast difference between briefly pointing out a hot stranger, and talking up the red hot desirability of a gorgeous guy you personally know. The latter is an unusual thought to share with a partner if its not servicing some kind of fantasy.

OP he may well be fine with you wanting to shag him, but not ok with you actually shagging him!

She didn't say SHE fancied him! It wouldn't have provoked such a response from my dh, we discuss how attractive people are without any jealousy. We're not blind to other people, just happily secure with each other

sounds like a really silly thing to say to dh, he's rightly dismissive of it.

I don't want to shag him! He IS a nice looking man, that does not mean I want to climb into bed with him. I'm upset because DH knows my stance yet he mentioned it and it made me feel uncomfortable. I didn't tell him right away as there wasn't the chance so I have sat and dwelled on it. I don't agree with those that say I cannot, ever again, mention if I think someone is nice looking. Ok, maybe I shouldn't have used the phrase 'he could have any woman he wants' (hindsight is a wonderful thing) but I did. I should think by now that DH would know, despite his fantasy, that that's just not going to happen. But, it looks like I was wrong.
First time on MN and was being brave to post in AIBU...thanks for your insights, they have been useful

He is shagging around

Ive asked MNHQ to delete this thread; but thanks for the conversation.

So you know its his fantasy. He thought the converstation was heading that way. Since him having that fantasy isnt a deal breaker for you, i dont really understand why the converstation is.

I am sure there was more info in the other thread. Could be wrong through

Typical response to someone not getting the response they want 'i am going to get MNHQ to pull the thread'.

Its becoming a joke

It's absolutely ridiculous to say that you can't discuss if someone is good looking or not with your DH. I think you'd have to be really insecure in your relationship to not be able to discuss that.

OP, noone can say what is going on in your DH head but it sounds from what you've said that he's fucking other people and it would make it easier for him if you were too. I would talk to him more about what he said and get to the bottom of his motives.

XiCi - we have discussed it today and he assures me that nothing is going on and that he has been faithful. I've told him I can deal with his fantasy as long as he keeps it separate from 'real life' and that I won't accept any more talk asking about who I would (hyperthetically) sleep with, if I had the chance. I have never actively encouraged DH or given any hints that I would do what he would like me to do, this may seem like back-pedalling, but when he speaks like this it upsets me.

My original post wasn't very detailed as I was so nervous about writing it so I can understand how people have interpreted it.