To think I'm overweight (refused access to an NHS funded diet program + pic included)

[user1485442361]

I used to be a svelte size 10. Put on weight after having my Son. My main issue is my stomach. It sticks out. I think this is because I have a small waist so the fat has a smaller area to cover (if that makes sense). In the morning it can look pretty flat but by the evening after I've eaten a meal it does stick out in tight clothes.

Anyway, I don't know what I weigh. But I have always considered myself considerably overweight. At least two stone overweight. I am 5ft7 and should be no more than 11 stone and around 10stone to me a very healthy weight. I suspect I'm about 13 stone. People do often tell me I am fine the way I am but my parents tell me I need to lose two stone.

Anyway, signed up for an NHS funded diet programme. I arrive and they tell me my BMI is not high enough to qualify. You have to be at least two stone overweight. But I am sure I am I said. They didn't even weigh me and said I was too slim to join.

I've just signed up to slimming world but I'm really annoyed. I know I should be flattered but I really wanted to go on the course and do genuinely think I'm overweight by around two stone and should have been allowed participate. I have struggled to lose the baby weight but I know I have to make an effort. AIBU?

Sorry for the poor quality of pics. I'm not in my own home and took them just now. They're not designed to be in any way flattering. I want genuine opinions and I'm ready for them!

MESSAGE FROM MNHQ - IMAGES REMOVED AFTER PRIVACY CONCERNS

ooops, sorry, my PC is playing up- sedems to be posting my messages several times over. My PC been very odd lately. Apologies. OP, you may not qualify for NHS help with weight loss but there are other avenues. Even online support groups regarding food and eating. Don't despair- you don't need to go through this alone. Even Mumsnet may have resources in the mental health threads?

So, what's sapping your willpower to lose a stone and firm up a bit, user?

You can aim for a gggentle loss of half a pound a week and pretty much be there by the summer.

Just to add here that I know a really slim woman (UK size 12) who is convinced hse is enormous! She doesn't starve herself but often refers to herself as fat and is very strict with herself about foods, avoids certain foods. Some people do think they are bigger than they are. It is a real thing! I mentioned this lady to a close friend of mine who used to work with anorexic patients and whilst she agrees this Size 12 woman probably doesn't have the full blown disorder she says this lady has disordered thinking about food and weight. It isn't necessarily a case of being self indulgent. The OP seems to really think she is fat and worries about it. Having parents comment on it won't help either. Both my Size 12 friend and the obese lady who went to OA I mentioned upthread had parents who would fat shame them and police their food intake. Telling the OP she is entitled seems unkind. People do not desperately try to persuade strangers on a forum that they are really fat unless there is an underlying reason. (Or unless they are trolling and it isn't up to us to judge that)

I really admire people who can lose weight on determination and willpower alone and think they should be proud of themselves. Sadly I don't think it is that simple for all of us. I am a UK size 24-26 and I have never found diets work for me. I completely understand where people like CherrySkull are coming from too. I am glad to see so many people on this thread are sympathetic to those of us who are clinically obsese. It isn't often that happens

So obese people should get help but those that have taken steps to prevent their weight from getting out of control shouldn't?

Makes no sense that me. Let's for arguments sake say that the OP is 2 stone overweight. Shes recognised it and wants help to prevent it going further. But people are saying that no, the people who have allowed themselves to get to huge weights should be prioritised????

Well no, sorry. They should be put to back of queue. People like OP should take priority. Obese people should be made to get down to a maximum of 15 stone before they receive NHS help.

Actually bumsex ppl who are slightly overweight have a chance of living longer.

thescienceexplorer.com/brain-and-body/overweight-people-actually-tend-live-longer-normal-weight-individuals

TheRippedOutPage Yes. Ideally the NHS should be about preventing sickness as well as about treating disease. I am with you on this one.I do see that NHS funding is limited and I think this is sad. I don't think people should be considered entitled for trying to get funding at all.

In the area of weight and eating I have personal experience of meeting two people with severe EDs at both ends of spectrum- compulsive eater and anorexic. Both had been under mental health care also por anxiety issues, self-harm, depression but although they were both physically at point where death was a real possibilty, no psych ward or mental health unit would admit either of them. The anorexic woman had damaged knees from trying to get rid of the few calories she ate by running for four hours every day and was now registered physically disabled. Her BMI isn't low enough according to NHS to get specialist eating help. She needs to be 4 kilos lighter, apparently. The other person is about 300 pounds, has a dodgy knee, PCOS, and can't breathe at night without oxygen mask. She not eligible for stomach stapling, as she has vitamin deficiencies and other illnesses. She too, apparently isn't sick enough to have specialist ED help, though her Dr offered her Prozac and Weight Watchers vouchers. NHS funding is limited, both of these people acknowledge this, but no one in their right mind would call them entitled for seeking help on NHS. Neither of them have full time jobs because they have been sick

True, HelenaDove. But not all health issues are physical?

Look, go and weigh yourself at Boots for 20p. Then you will know if you are overweight.

Nhs funds are stretched beyond belief. They can't help everyone who is obese to lose weight. They can only help the most in need. Please try to help yourself.

I lost my weight at slimming world i lost 10 stone in 2002/2003 but lost it too quickly (7 stone of it in 7 months) and got gallstones.
DH had a heart attack in 2006 which left him partially disabled. I regained 4 stone between 2006 and 2013 which is when i went back to SW and second time it took me 3 and a half years to lose 4 stone. Quite a difference in speed.

Second time around i noticed that SW had become a lot more looks based and based on the aesthetic rather than health. You could certainly see the influence of the celebrity culture there. I found going in once a fortnight and only staying to the odd class every now and then less pressured and less likely to make me feel insecure.
Also fast weight loss is applauded and encouraged which i know by my own experience that is also bad for health. Slow and steady is better but not as encouraged.
I walked away from SW the first time back in 2004 when another member kept telling me "You should be 10 stone" More pressure The lowest weight i ever got down to was 10 stone 12. Id already come down from 21 stone which is bloody enough quite frankly. I will never have slim legs because i have a form of lipoedema which is hereditary.

Ive been looking it up and it is more common than i thought. My weight on the scales has to allow for this condition. I will never be able to wear knee high boots no matter how much weight ive lost.

It doesnt seem to bother anyone i know in RL apart from one who can easily be avoided.

HelenaDove, I don't wish to sound patronising, but I want to say well done. It is not easy to lose weight but you have found a way that has worked for you and I am impressed.

common OP has weighed herself:

11st4lbs

""So obese people should get help but those that have taken steps to prevent their weight from getting out of control shouldn't? Let's for arguments sake say that the OP is 2 stone overweight. But people are saying that no, the people who have allowed themselves to get to huge weights should be prioritised????
Well no, sorry. They should be put to back of queue. People like OP should take priority. Obese people should be made to get down to a maximum of 15 stone before they receive NHS help.""

TheRipped, the problem is that at over 15 stone, exercise can be dangerous and usually there is a level of MH or medical issues, so intervention is needed.

This is agreed by those working in weight loss and as budgets are stretched, there needs to be a clinical need.

I personally don't lose weight without exercising and because of a serious illness (and its treatment), I've had reduced mobility for over a year. My only enjoyment has been food and because I've had to rely on home delivery and easy cook meals, I've become obese, but I'm still under 15 stone.

I've been buying my own appetite suppressants, but I'm seeing GP to see what's available. I think I should be offered the Gym within the hospital, because I can't safely exercise.

Likewise someone who could be risking their health, if they are obese and exercise.

Whereas someone overweight, doesn't have the same risks and they won't have effected mobility, unless there are underlying medical issues.

CherrySkull, I am severely obese (25 stone, sleep apnea, joint pains, PCOS) and I often feel upset at people who aren't claiming "I am so fat." It upsets me when they say it in my hearing because I think "If you are fat, what does that make me?" I hate when people use the "poor me, I',m so fat" when they aren't to get compliments. But we have no way of knowing whether the OP is actually motivated by this attitiude or whether she really thinks she is fat, or has a problem with eating of some kind.

I DO agree with you that she doesn't meet the NHS xriteria for this particular programme. I don't think it would be wrong for her to try a non-NHS way to lose weight though- eg -Overeaters Anonymous, Beat support group for emotional/binge eating, Food Addicts In Recovery Anon, SW, WW etc That would be healthy self care, not invading our space. Think about the OP like you would a teenage DD or DS of yours. If they believed they were fat when they weren't or were trying to persuade strangers on internet that they are fat, you wouldn't call it attention seeking, or give a lecture on invading opressed peoples' spaces but would try to get them the emotional help they need in some way or another?
If someone has mild depression we don't say to them, "Don't ask for a referral to a psychiatrist unless you want to kill yourself." Because we know that mild MH issues can esaclate into severe ones. I know this is a different topic but I mention it because it is a paralell.

Not trying to thread derail but I am in vain trying to seek a Psych referral because I am still battling anxiety, and some issues with a personality disorder diagnosis. I no longer am turning up at A and E with gashes in my arms or reeling from taking a whole lot of pills, or violently lashing out at others, but I am still struggling in other ways. I self harm in ways now that involve me doing other self destructive things eg- getting myself into relationships where I get hurt, compulsive lying, sabotaging relationship sdue to paranoia and fears of rejection. I have been discharged because I am no longer suicidal etc and my moods are more stable. I am getting well and I am thrilled that I am but I still need support and am finding primary care (IAPT/GP etc) not equipped to help me. Yet the MH team don't want to know. Would you say someone like me should stop hounding the NHS MH services, knowing how overstretched they are?? I don't think it is black and white in my case and probably not in the OP's case either.

CherrySkull, Sorry, that unintentionally turned into a bit of a lecture, probably. I am not in any way meaning it as a personal attack.

And, OP, if I am making assumptions about you by suggesting it may be a psychological issue, please forgive me. I cpuld well be completely wrong. I do have trouble believing at your height that 11 stone 4 is seriously overweight. Not meaning to make anyone feel bad about themselves but I can get carried away with voicing my own opinions sometimes. I will shut up now!

Wendigo. Thankyou thats very kind. And you dont sound patronising at all.

wendigo im so sorry you have been through all that.

Im glad you are a bit better now.

Sorry, but i DO think its attention seeking... that doesn't mean it isn't a symptom of some other mental health issue though.

I'm currently somewhere around 22st (or i was before christmas when i was last weighed by my specialist) and my spine is crumbling.. i have a degenerative disk disease and severely reduced mobility.. i take a crap load of drugs to control the severe sciatica that my blown discs are causing.

I am on a diet because if i don't move this weight there is a chance i will lose the ability to walk within a couple of years as my spine continues to deteriorate.

I have anxiety, a disabled child and a long term issue with emotional over-eating disorder. I also have several other mental health issues around obsessive behaviours.

IF the OP has mental health issues around self esteem and eating, then of course she ought to approach her GP.. i wish her luck with it, my GP did fuck all despite me begging him for help for years... their idea of 'help' was to throw a prescription for orlistat at me.

I have engineered my own diet and started swimming 3 times a week.. i do about 25-30 lengths of the pool each time.. in 3 week i've dropped nearly a whole dress size.

Mental health issues around her weight do not qualify her for help from the NHS to lose weight when she isn't even any where near their criteria. I think its grossly unfair for someone who isn't even fat to be trying to access a weight loss scheme for people who actually need the help.

I wouldn't go try and sign up to a fitness class for diabetics just because i get a sugar low, nor would i attempt to swim in my pool for free like people on benefits can just because i'm a bit skint this week, or try and get DD into a special school because she's got a few of the same quirks her severely autistic brother displays..... this is essentially what the OP is trying to do. Its wrong.

Such a weird thread. I think to most people it would be fairly obvious that the NHS isn't going to provide a free slimming club for slightly overweight people. They didn't weigh you because you're clearly not obese, to most people it would have been obvious that the service wasn't intended for people who could do with losing a few pounds. You clearly aren't that concerned yourself as you haven't weighed yourself!

Yes you have a tummy. Exercise.

FFS why do you need the NHS to tell you how to lose weight? Are you one of those people who gets a prescription for calpol? You sound like it, tbh.
Here's a thought. Go and weigh yourself, work out your bmi, then try one of the thousands of weightloss/fitness guides that are available free, on the internet. Or alternatively, try the 'eat less move more' thing.
There are a very few people who need more specialist help from the NHS but most people can do it for themselves.

I have now read the front of the thread properly and it seems this is mostly about body confidence issues and a non flat stomach. Women aren't actually supposed to have flat stomachs - even when slim we generally have fat below our belly buttons to protect our reproductive organs. it takes a lot of work to get rid of this.

But seeing as fashion dictates that natural looking women should feel shit about themselves and lose weight when they don't need to, this book may be of interest.

I saw a feature about it in the Times earlier this year and it looked really interesting. I think it focusses on natural foods, giving up processed foods and eating healthy natural food like meat, fish, nuts, fruit and vegetables. The example recipes looked really nice.