AIBU : to never see MIL again

[TwinkleTwinkle123]

Okay here goes I hate my MIL, just writing that feels better. My MIL is a cruel and devious sociopath. I am stuck in this cycle and I do not know what to do other that never see her again but I feel terrible not letting her GC see her, yet I hate the idea of leaving them with her I honestly fear for them even with my DH there. It has nearly ruined our marriage and we have moved 200 miles to get away but her visit actually make me feel ill. I dread them for weeks before and they usually end in me and DH having a huge fight. After last massive incident DS birth I almost popped a stitch kicking her out of my house. Since then she has been on her best behaviour we moved away when he was 4 weeks old (now 8months) yet I am still scared she will start again and honestly feel scared and isolated about it.

I just wanted to say YANBU! Sometimes it is so hard to put into words why someone has hurt you. Believe me, it will only get worse and the stress will get the better of you! And come on people, if she wants to have the day to herself and DH when her child has been born, that's great!

I go get my eyebrows/ nails/ hair done when MIL is visiting and leave DH and kids to entertain her. Favourite Saturday of the month

Don't forget, when your mil was bringing up her children, the culture was very much bottle is best for baby
HofTH - I'm 65 and I dont' remember bottle ever being best with a view to letting DFs feed baby. Though that might vary with different parts of teh country.

Skooba, when my gran had her babies in the 50s the midwives were very disapproving of bottles - the phrase "unnatural mothers" was used apparently!

OP, ignore the naysayers, your MIL sounds dreadful. And there's nothing wrong with no visitors in hospital, yes there's a newborn but there's also a woman feeling vulnerable, exhausted and in pain who maybe wants a bit of peace and fucking quiet before friends and family start jumping all over her and her baby. People seem to forget that sometimes.

IT was pushed as "the modern way" skooba , heavily promoted with advertising etc. We forget times were different. Drs even prescribed medicine to dry up your milk. That's what all the breastfeeding policies were addressing when it became apparent breastfeeding was beneficial.

Please, can we just stop calling women bitches. That would be a start.

I have every sympathy for you..up to you when you feel OK to play the stupid 'pass the baby' game...more women should stand up to bullying (usually insanely jealous) mils! Your dh needs to sit down with you and maybe you can both work out which family comes first...nightmare situ which won't disappear on its own..good luck!

IT was pushed as "the modern way" skooba , heavily promoted with advertising etc. We forget times were different

When was this HOTH?

I am guessing the DMIL is in her 50s.

1970/80s.
Remember the boycott of nestle?

Right but before the MIL's child bearing time imestimation.

skooba The Politics of Breastfeeding is an excellent (and harrowing) book on the subject. We should still be boycotting Nestlé because of all the babies who died in the third world because of their actions.