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AIBU?

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Original poster

Or is this PE teacher unreasonable about periods

706 replies

BigSandyBalls2015 · 26/01/2017 21:32

DD(15) is doing GCSE PE. Part of this involves 'personal survival' which takes place in local swimming pool.

The school obv need to book this, can't just turn up, but DD queried what would happen if some of the girls had their period at the time. PE teacher (female) replied that they'd obviously have to use a tampon, they can't miss it, can't arrange another day. A few girls told her they didn't use/get on with tampons and she got annoyed saying they'd have to get on with it on the day as no other option.

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 27/01/2017 03:38

We need to make sure young women know about safety from Toxic Shock Syndrome.

www.vice.com/en_au/article/is-toxic-shock-on-the-rise-among-young-women

GlacindaTheTroll · 27/01/2017 06:31

"I do wonder how they would deal with pupils who are absent through illness, bereavement, family matters etc. Surely they must have a mop up session?"

No.

You apply to the exam board for special consideration.

Swimming is not a compulsory part of the PE syllabus GCSE, and of course no-one had to choose PE in the first place either. It does strike me as a little odd that so many girls who cannot manage their periods in water chose that for their GCSE, when they would have had ample notice that there was a formal assessment for it, and that a like any other GCSE controlled assessment or oral, you do not get to choose the date.

LindyHemming · 27/01/2017 06:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bettersleepoutdoors · 27/01/2017 06:41

The teacher is being unreasonable.
It is perfectly reasonable to suggest that a girl might want to consider using a tampon or mooncup but not to insist on it. I'm not sure why that needs spelling out tbh.
If a girl has a period on the day of the session and chooses not to wear a tampon then surely they manage the situation in the same way as anyone else who might miss a session due to illness or injury or whatever.
IMO, this is one the issues that illustrates the need for consideration to women and girls and their biological differences.

Bettersleepoutdoors · 27/01/2017 06:43

And yy to a pp.
Toxic shock syndrome is a risk.
Maybe we should be promoting mooncups in school Health Ed (or whatever they call it now)

Bettersleepoutdoors · 27/01/2017 06:46

OK just RTFT
2 sessions 2 weeks apart.
Perfect. Sorted.

meditrina · 27/01/2017 06:50

There's a difference between the school policy towards compliance with exam board requirements for formal assessments, and what the PE teacher said that menstruating girls should do.

There will be only one session. Those who opt for swimming as one of their sports will know how it is assessed and that there will be one fixed date around the time if the exam season.

Girls who are serious swimmers do choose tampons (or a I suppose moon-cups) as they are the water-friendly form of sanpro, and they know that there will be events with immovable dates when they have to be in the water. The formal GCSE assessment is one such date.

The school will have a policy for dealing with requests for special consideration. That is perhaps what OP needs to find out about next.

GlacindaTheTroll · 27/01/2017 06:52

2 sessions 2 weeks apart.
Perfect. Sorted

It's a bit late to start negotiating that with the exam board, or make additions to the exam timetable (to avoid clashes)

Weareboatsremember · 27/01/2017 07:00

When we had to do swimming with school, pretty much the whole class of us used to say we were on our periods, as no one wanted to go swimming in a general PE lesson in y11. I can understand the teacher's frustration as many girls will just use it as an excuse not to have to take part (not saying your daughter will though of course!).
Our school ended up getting a nurse in to give everyone free tampons and a talk about how to use them. Still no one went swimming, despite most of having probably been using tampons for years.

BalloonSlayer · 27/01/2017 07:08

When I was 15 I told my Mum I wanted to use tampons. She said "you're too young." Hmm I kept on and kept on and eventually she bought me some, or maybe I bought them myself. I tried and tried and couldn't do it. Eventually I sort of succeeded but was in agony . I have vivid memories of the pain and distress I felt until I gave up and took the stupid thing out. I definitely couldn't have used them at that age.

If my 15 year old DD wanted to use tampons I might well say "you're too young" Grin. If she wanted to try them in order to do this course without fuss that would be OK with me. However if she was unsure and someone TOLD her she had to use tampons or fail an exam I truly think I would go ballistic. No one but my daughter dictates what goes into her vagina.

Whisky2014 · 27/01/2017 07:16

Italian yes. We all knew because we were all friends and theyd tell us if. Also we would see them or sit with them writing out the note!

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 27/01/2017 07:16

I'm really shocked by this - yes girls we tell you that you have bodily autonomy but that doesn't include swimming where you all have to put something inside yourself Hmm

I couldn't use internal sanpro at 15 due to being raped - I still can't actually.

So some of us can't just pop something in and get on with our lives.

vixsyn · 27/01/2017 07:18

If we were talking about anything else (actually, I apply it to this as well) I think a command along the lines of "force this into your vagina whether you like it or not" would be met with outrage.

I don't use tampons; they increase my cramps, make me nauseous and give me diarrhoea. I doubt this is common, but nor is it extremely rare.

Saying that, and sorry if anyone finds this gross, has no one else had the experience of their flow lessening/stopping in water? If I go for a wee before having a bath and clean off any "excess," I don't seem to bleed much when I'm in water. That's been true of swimming as well as bathing.

I'm not suggesting the girls try this out for the first time when in a public pool, but perhaps going er... commando! if they can might be an option?

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 27/01/2017 07:21

You don't bleed 'much' in water? So you still bleed? Well there's another reason for not going swimming.

maddiemookins16mum · 27/01/2017 07:24

She is unreasonable, I couldn't use tampons in my teens, the whole idea scared me and I simply couldn't manage them.

vixsyn · 27/01/2017 07:25

Sorry I'll clarify: I don't bleed externally from what I've noticed. As in, I can wipe after bathing and get no blood on tissue, but stick a finger up towards my cervix and get blood on a finger tip. I don't avoid swimming when I'm on because this is a reliable phenomenon.

Miserylovescompany2 · 27/01/2017 07:29

When you are on your period and have a bath, the blood stops flowing. The pressure of the water stops it. Could the girls have a towel by the pool side to wrap around them? That would be only if the person spent the entirety of the session in the water.

It's a different kettle of fish altogether...If you are getting in and out of the pool, which I'd imagine you'd be doing for survival training...then you'd have blood streaming down your thighs. Highly embarrassing and humiliating for the girl. You can't force them to use tampons.

I can understand the PE teachers frustrations. But, that's as far as it goes...

trinity0097 · 27/01/2017 07:34

I have never used a tampon and never intend to, I think they are disgusting. Happy that others use them but I would never, as a teacher I would try to accommodate these girls in a different session. As you say others may be ill and unable to come in. I would be goinghigher than the teacher and going to their head of department.

MsJamieFraser · 27/01/2017 07:35

Misery maybe for you that when you swim or are in the bath that your bleeding stops, mine certinetly does not, and by reading others circumstances there's do not also.

That's the thing I hate about MN they cannot see out of their own little world, just because that's your experience of it, does not mean it's everyone else's.

lljkk · 27/01/2017 07:40

Isn't there medication people can get to delay their periods? Just a thought in this one-off situation.

DD wants me to take her to GP so that she can get investigations why she can't use tampons. I think she's not trying hard enough to learn how to use them, but I'm afraid I'll leave it to medical staff to do any intimate examination. It affects her swimming at school, too.

TheEmojiFormerlyKnownAsPrince · 27/01/2017 07:40

I think the teacher and the situation are both about discrimination. Would a teacher tell boys to use tampons? No. So she can't tell the girls to either.

Discrimination

AllPowerfulLizardPerson · 27/01/2017 07:43

"As you say others may be ill and unable to come in. I would be goinghigher than the teacher and going to their head of department."

If you are ill and need to miss a GCSE formal assessment, you have to get a sick note from a doctor and the school submits it to the exam board as part of the application for special consideration. There should be a clear briefing to all GCSE candidates about the procedures for that.

VikingVolva · 27/01/2017 07:49

"I think the teacher and the situation are both about discrimination. Would a teacher tell boys to use tampons? No. So she can't tell the girls to either".

As long as she told all those who were anticipating menstruation the same, there is no discrimination here.

My reading is that when asked, the teacher said 'use a tampon' and when told that would not be possible, the teacher said 'sort it out'.

I have less of an issue with that than seemingly every other poster. It is not up to the teacher to come up with a list of options on how to attend the GCSE assessment. Perhaps they shouldn't have made the first suggestion and just said that the pupils would need to sort it out themselves.

But it's so common and well known that swimmers use tampons, that it's not unreasonable to mention the commonest means of managing that issue.

bloodyteenagers · 27/01/2017 07:53

For the people who cannot be arsed reading yesterday's posts.

Not everyone stops bleeding in water.
For some belief it or not, a bath is a reenactment of a scene from Carrie.

Not everyone can/wants to use tampax.

No one should be forced ever to put something inside them.

Oh and to pass gcse pe the school could choose to do something other than swimming. So by forcing girls to use tampax the school is still being unreasonable. If they are still so rigid about this there's a coaching element.

AllPowerfulLizardPerson · 27/01/2017 07:53

"I think the teacher and the situation are both about discrimination. Would a teacher tell boys to use tampons? No. So she can't tell the girls to either."

The teacher was responding to enquiries, and it is not discriminatory to provide answers just to those making the enquiry.

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