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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or is this PE teacher unreasonable about periods

706 replies

BigSandyBalls2015 · 26/01/2017 21:32

DD(15) is doing GCSE PE. Part of this involves 'personal survival' which takes place in local swimming pool.

The school obv need to book this, can't just turn up, but DD queried what would happen if some of the girls had their period at the time. PE teacher (female) replied that they'd obviously have to use a tampon, they can't miss it, can't arrange another day. A few girls told her they didn't use/get on with tampons and she got annoyed saying they'd have to get on with it on the day as no other option.

OP posts:
Pollyanna9 · 27/01/2017 19:28

"Periods shouldn't interfere with life/school".

They shouldn't, but they can - it's a ridiculous statement.

My DD 14 has just started with ovarian pain, doubling her up, when she has her period. Not every time, she doesn't know when it will strike - sometimes she has it, sometimes not. She's pale, shaky and not at all good when she's like that. Plus she can't use tampons either. She couldn't even go swimming let alone if she was bleeding and couldn't use a tampon!

There's no way she'd go on that trip.

You can't force menstruating girls to insert something in their vagina against their will! I'm with you Blank.

Blossomdeary · 27/01/2017 19:32

I cannot believe that this has not arisen before and that a way around it has not been found. You cannot cancel nature for your convenience.

Trifleorbust · 27/01/2017 19:33

Blossomdeary: Of course it has arisen before. What solution do you suggest?

bunnylove99 · 27/01/2017 19:35

See exactly Polly. So in this scenario you know your daughter, know this isn't suitable for her and would write a note telling school she is to be excused, which they would do.

meditrina · 27/01/2017 19:49

"See exactly Polly. So in this scenario you know your daughter, know this isn't suitable for her and would write a note telling school she is to be excused, which they would do."

By 'trip' do you mean the GCSE cont assessment? Because with the symtoins you describe, it sounds as if this could happen to any assessment or exam, not just the swimming one.

A parental note to be excused won't cut it with the exam board. The school would need to apply for special consideration for a missed exam. You need a doctor's letter (at minimum), and. Sh might have to take her chances on a resist, just as anyone who falls ill and misses parts of exam sight need. To.

Bettersleepoutdoors · 27/01/2017 19:58

those who truly dont/cant use tampons
Oh bloody hell.
I give up.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 27/01/2017 20:10

Oh that would be lovely - so a girl has to humiliate herself to tell her parents she can't use a tampon so they can write her a note?

Fuck me - we have gone through the looking glass now...

Trifleorbust · 27/01/2017 20:14

LiviaDrusillaAugusta: Again, what do you suggest?

mycatwantstokillme1 · 27/01/2017 20:15

Livia, thank you for making me laugh with your last post!
Some of these replies are truly shocking to me. I think I need to go and sit in a dark room. Although ironically my period is due today so it could also be a bit of PMT as to why I'm ranting!

P00pchute · 27/01/2017 20:15

Some people cannot physically wear tampons without pain and severe discomfort/leaking - because of the shape and positioning of their vagina/cervix. Not just because 'eeee it's a bit tight and I don't like it,'

Can't believe people can't do a bit of fucking googling before they spout off about teenagers being precious or difficult. Total wilful ignorance.

Bettersleepoutdoors · 27/01/2017 20:18

willful ignorance
Yep.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 27/01/2017 20:19

Trifle I have no suggestions but not forcing girls to wear something internally is a start

mycat Flowers CakeBrew

Littledrummergirl · 27/01/2017 20:23

My Dd is 12. She loves pe and sport and will probably select gcse pe as one of her options.
As part of the decision making process she has a huge range of different sports to choose from. One of those options is swimming.
As part of her personal autonomy she will choose if she wants to do it. As her parent I will talk to her about the practicalities such as "you may have to do the practical element during your period; how do you feel about that? "
During this conversation I will also be discussing options- medication and tampons, exploring alternatives. She can then make an informed choice about her needs when deciding if swimming is the best option for her.

If I was a teacher I would advise young girls they have a practical exam when they make those option choices.

Waiting until the date has been set is a bit bloody late which is why I am with the teacher.

At no point have I said they have to use tampons, but I believe they are a realistic option for most females.

I wonder how many girls will realistically have this problem anyway.

Trifleorbust · 27/01/2017 20:25

LiviaDrusillaAugusta: I would never, ever suggest that that is okay.

But if a girl has a medical reason not to do PE, but refuses to tell her parent or guardian so they can give her reasons to school, how on earth can a teacher be expected to excuse her? Periods are a painful, unpleasant PITA and I have no desire to make anyone's life difficult, but we need to live in the real world a bit here. Confused

Tweasels · 27/01/2017 20:25

I literally cant believe what I've read on this thread.

Fucking hell, I don't even know where to start. Why the fuck should any girl or woman ever put something inside her vagina against her will?

And people ask why we need feminism Hmm

BlankTVscreen · 27/01/2017 20:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Tweasels · 27/01/2017 20:27

And saying you shouldn't do GCSE PE if you can't use a tampon. Just have a think about that for a minute...what else should women not do because they menstruate?

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 27/01/2017 20:27

Okay well I couldn't have told my parents about not being able to use tampons - I felt I had been humiliated enough.

But hey. Let's live in the real world where everyone shares everything and nobody has issues with shoving a foreign object up their vadge.

LiviaDrusillaAugusta · 27/01/2017 20:28

I never identified as a feminist until now - some of you should be ashamed of yourselves

Tweasels · 27/01/2017 20:28

X post Blank..yes to all of that

bummymummy77 · 27/01/2017 20:34

Periods shouldn't affect your life?

Have a fucking biscuit. Biscuit

Some people on here are so unempathetic it's crazy.

I couldn't use tampons. Now I can but there are a few days of the month where I bleed so heavily I go through two tampons at once and have to wear a thick pad.

Trifleorbust · 27/01/2017 20:36

BlankTVscreen: Of course, but if you can't think of a solution yourself then you need to believe teachers when they say a reasonable solution isn't available. It isn't a black and white issue whereby they HAVE to find a solution. If there isn't one, there isn't one.

bummymummy77 · 27/01/2017 20:37

Oh and the not bleeding in to water is rubbish. I believed that crap and had the most embarrassing incidence of my life. Whilst wearing a tampon I may add.

meditrina · 27/01/2017 20:37

"And saying you shouldn't do GCSE PE if you can't use a tampon. Just have a think about that for a minute...what else should women not do because they menstruate?"

I repeat - swimming is not a compulsory part of PE GCSE.

Choosing to swim at a level when there are set-date events (either competitions or assessments) does however mean there will be a need to manage periods.

Trifleorbust · 27/01/2017 20:39

LiviaDrusillaAugusta: Very sorry to hear you couldn't communicate your problem. But that doesn't make people psychics. You can't expect people to understand where you are coming from if you can't tell them. At that point you have gone beyond the stage where a PE teacher can help you in any meaningful way and obviously need specialist support. A letter from CAHMS that says 'This student can't go swimming. Don't ask any questions about this' is clearly what was needed in your situation, along with significant support for you. But please don't blame your teachers.