About people patting baby's bum?

[Laralouie]

I've got an 18 month old baby. My second so I'm not being pfb.

My inlaws keep patting/slapping his bum quite hard. I really don't like it. They're not hitting him they're being playful but I just want to say "stop".

I know babies bums are cute in their nappies, I get that, it's just they do it quite hard, and often, mil especially and I just don't want people constantly touching his bum unnecessarily.

It makes me cringe. Mil has done it a couple of times to older, school age child although far less often.

I asked dh to gently ask them not to but he hasn't.

Is the child bothered?

Yes mil has 'patted' ds1s bum and he's way too old imo.

Fair enough, OP. I think he would make it obvious if it was too rough, though. Would he not?

Not massively so about this bertandrussell they can be a little suffocating.

Example before he could walk they'd keep 'walking' him up and down dangling by his arms and he'd get annoyed.

Following him around with a camera in his face when he's pushing it away.

Nothing really awful.

Yes you're probably right trifle it's not as though he's burst into tears.

I'll accept it's probably my problem. I just wish they'd stop doing it.

Every time she does it, return the favour. She'll soon get the message

Seriously, just ask her to stop.
I had an issue with a family member mentioning that they hadn't seen my baby naked. I thought it off. So when it was said, I asked well why would you want to? It's a bit weird. She didn't mention it again and hasn't seen anything.

Ha can you just imagine stripeyblanket?

Just tell them to stop it. No need to give reasons. It is enough that you don't like it.

I find being sarcastic can help get a message across. Something along the lines of 'bloody hell, are you sure that's hard enough??!' She might apologise and realise not to do it again or if she replies with something else this still gives you the opportunity to be more direct and say you would be more comfortable with her being gentler. I don't see what she could possibly say against that other than apologise.

'She bloody whacks him'.

Whack her back. Why is she whacking children? She sounds unhinged.

Oh, don't be ridiculous, she's not "whacking him"!!

Er, the OP has said clearly that the MiL is whacking him.

She has also said that the child isn't bothered..........

Bert I promise she is going beyond patting.

I was a child of the 70s and was smacked, she is 'patting' ds as hard as my patella rents would have smacked me. If it wasn't though his nappy I have absolutely no doubt she'd leave a mark.

I don't think she sees it as she whacking him, she's being affectionate, I doubt she's hurting him because he's got a nappy on but even dh commented that she was rough, though it obviously bothers me more than him.

Good point.

But the OP hates it. And it is kind of odd.

Parents

I doubt she's whacking him very hard . Surely he'd cry or say "ouch"
I playfully smack dad's bum and she's 9 !
Just tell her you don't like it
Why are people so hard at finding their voices

Dd's not dads .

What? I patted both my DCs bottoms and now they're adults I do it do the dog.

Op it doesnt matter if your mil had a whip, in bertrands eyes mils can never do wrong

I used to love affectionately smacking my DS's bum when he was little - loved his little square squadgy nappy bum!

However, it sounds like your MIL is doing it too hard.

"Op it doesnt matter if your mil had a whip, in bertrands eyes mils can never do wrong confused"

That's why I asked if the child was remotely bothered. If yes, then of course tell her to stop immediately. But he isn't. Families play with/interact with children in different ways. The important person here is the child. And he's happy.

I do know babies bums are adorable in their nappies.

I think it's partly because they're grandparents (I'd be the same if it were my own mum), partly because they keep doing it and mostly because mil is doing it too hard.

Rightly or wrongly it really does irritate me.

I find it very hard to say anything to them. If my mum was doing it I'd just something in a nice jokey way. I just can't with them they'll get upset, would be better coming from dh.

Polly I also do this to the dog and he wags his tail with joy.

| BertrandRussell: Really? So if this was a stranger, it would be fine as long as the child didn't mind?