Do you lend money to friends?

[MadJeffBarn]

A very close friend of mine has asked to borrow £50 until Tuesday. I've never lent money to her, so have no idea if she'll be able to pay it back, and it is a substantial amount of money to me. But I agreed because she's recently single and struggling with three children to feed. I just know money can break the strongest of relationships so it always makes me feel slightly uncomfortable. So do you lend? Has it ever gotten in the way of a friendship? Do you have limits on how much you would lend?

All my friends have more money than me lol

If I was to lend, it would only be what I know I could do without. So if you think you're going to struggle giving £50, but you really want to help, maybe offer £25

Neither a borrower nor a lender be

That's Shakespeare... for loan doth oft lose both itself and friend.

I've lent my best friend money to cover unexpected bills (car repairs etc) and he's always paid it back in full within the timescale he's given and I'd always help him if I could.

I had another friend many moons ago who, if we went shopping would ask me to buy (for example) a dress/shoes etc for her and put it on my credit card and she'd pay me back in time to pay it off my balance. I did it 4/5 times for her and it totalled approx £500. Did she pay me back? No, she literally just completely blanked me, ignored my calls/texts, wouldn't answer the door if I went round so I had no choice but to pay it back. She moved away shortly after, I've no idea where too.

If I've had the money, I had friends who claimed to have nothing. One would message me saying, oh it's so cold, or the electricity had gone out, or that she was starving. I'd hand over £50 at a time. She also didn't have a car so struggled to get about, so I gave her a loan of £1000+ to get a cheap runaround, plus tax & insurance. This was years ago, I remember my hubby saying she & a couple of others were abusing my kindness. Never saw the £1000+ again, but part of me never expected to.
Same with another friend, would always expect to go fancy places but could never pay. She always chose the most expensive thing on the menu. She even coerced me to clean my wardrobe as my clothes were Mumsy, but I had children, so Mumsy was what I was. As we were clearing stuff there was a pile she was going to take & a pile for charity shops that wasn't as big.
It was the same with family too, if they needed money & I had it, I'd happily help.
I don't think any ever paid back. When it was decided I'd stay at home to look after DC, I didn't have the money to give, so the best friend who professed I was like a sister stopped talking as I couldn't ask my husband to help her out.
It's wise advice looking back I was giving the money, if I couldn't afford to then I shouldn't, as it doesn't half feel awkward try to ask about it. That was the case with some furniture when we moved house, my husband wanted something say half of what I said she could have it for. I never got my share but my husband was on at me to get his, as he had things he wanted to buy, he wasn't keen on the colour scheme.
You can get friends who wouldn't dream of short changing you, or you can get friends who borrow more than they can afford, so you'll get it drip fed almost as & when they can afford it.
If my first friend really didn't have gas / electric / food as she said, which my hubby doubts as when baby 3 came along it was all organic baby grows, then I'd have felt guilty leaving her like that. There's no way of really proving it. You just trust people are being honest.

I'd say with ref to the £100, if you lend money you can't dictate what it's spent on. But you could say look I can only afford £50 will that be ok. Don't dictate to her that she should cut her coat according to her cloth, otherwise you could lose that friendship. Just give what you think is reasonable.

Odd one but collegue asks to borrow money .. one time did not pay back as a hint and having ppi small may I stress refund I said let it go .. she has her post to work clear they are debt letters has told me about debts but then books european holiday etc peeved yes mug me but why now borrow small amounts pay back .. its annoying me small amounts are tight for me but its projected as only 30 till next week forgetting I wrote 60 quid and she knows I ve no heating ... and damp in house .. yet there us always something she is ill .. this happened then she is off on holidays .. while saying mobile restricted ..HELP.. can't work ot out and feel pressured to loan money..

Clarify I wrote off 60 quid debt after getting 250 refund thinking she would be embarassed and not ask again.. since she asks 20 or 30 and has paid back .. weird and sorry but annoying

I don’t lend what I would be willing to lose.

And to be honest, the rare occasion a friend has been so low as to ask me for a loan (talking between £10-£50) I’ve let them keep it: as they need it more than me. I’m fortunate that we could afford it though and I am no way saying people should give cash gifts to friends who ask!

I’m not suggesting you let you’re friend keep it! I’m just saying if you can’t afford to let them keep it, be wary of lending it.

Just to clarify 60 quid written off that she didn't pay back due to son 's wedding hubbie ill and I had 250 quid ppi pay back she has always paid back but annoys me pressures me but Id feel awful not helping someone but why borrow 30 quid fornightly when your thousands in debt going on city breaks and in s circle of paying off resteictions on your mobile .. Help .. what is going on snd how do I say no .. have said no she just keeps asking .. with further sad story all strange

Depends on the relationship. One friend is a single parent going through some completely rediculous legal issues. If she needed or asked I would seriously handover my life savings without question or any expectation or want of it being repaid or otherwise. She and her dc are family to me.

I have another friend who asked for a loan of £150 last year. I lent it on the understanding of £50 being repaid every month for three months. Six months later I am still waiting for the first payment.
I've written it off that I'm never going to see it again.

Lesson learnt and I will never lend to 'everyday' friends or aquantances again.

I've lent my best friend money a few times. My rule is only to lend money I could always do without, but she has always paid me back. Her situation means she has less money than I do and she'd do the same for me in a heartbeat if she could.
Can't think of anyone else I'd lend money to though.

I probably have the least money so I couldn’t afford to lend to anyone but I would never ask for a loan either

No, I'd never lend. I've given both money and items to close friends (and had to refuse others who thought this an opportunity for a "me too") but wouldn't make an actual loan

I've seen what it can lead to and value my friends too much to risk it

If you assume you wont get it back its ok so I only lend books I dont want back. Money? I would be very careful and only small amounts that I could afford to lose. Good way to lose a friend

Op if you decide to lend it, then make it 100% cleqr to her that it is NOT a gift and that it is a LOAN that she must pay back

Get everything in writing including a repayment plan and each time she pays something back write the date, the amount paid back and both of you sign it...otherwise if you don't do that she may turn round and say it was a gift I'm not paying it back and you have no proof that it was a loan

Loaned £2.5K to a friend once who had just got a new job and needed a car. Agreed on £100p/m. It was like getting blood out of a stone but out of principle (as they then had more expendable cash than me at that point) I kept asking them for it and eventually they must have got sick of it as they eventually paid me back in full. Learned a valuable lesson and will never lend money again but will only give what I can afford and will not expect it back again.

In the bad old days, I would sometimes borrow a small amount ($25) when things were tight, but always repaid promptly. A friend sold me a car once and allowed me to pay half up front and the balance over the next few months. Never missed a payment.
However, in better times, I've been burned. A friend borrowed $3,000, which eventually grew to $11,000. (Yes, insanity on my part.) He was having all sorts of awful medical problems, but I finally needed to tell him we had to get on some kind of repayment plan. And he was waiting for a heart transplant at that point, but the timing never would have been good. Over some time, he knocked it down to $7,500. He then gave me a payment for $2,000. He died four months later. To her credit, his wife insisted on paying the balance after getting the insurance payout. Never charged a dime of interest, but really wouldn't have earned much from the bank, and he was a dear friend. But now I'd never lend anyone more than $500, and it had better be for a damned good reason.

I have lent money to friends and family in the past. I dont want to lend any money ever again.
I was asked for money by a friend and I messed up with internet banking and instead of asking if I had transferred the money I got a rant about how awful I was leaving her without money. I had made an error in the account number. When the bank rectified it I did not send the money to her account.
I have lent to family. One thinks I am an endless pit of money who will pay of all the debts they accrue. Rarely pays back. Another was lent in the thousands, paid some of it back until they took up with a new partner and not much money has been paid since.
I would be daft to lend any more. They only have themselves to blame in my opinion.

No. Not unless (as many people have said) you can comfortable afford to lose the said amount of money.

Also, I would never ever ever be a guarantor. Not. For. ANYONE.

*comfortably afford......

I've lent money to friends I knew would struggle to pay me back, years ago before we all got our careers sorted. They always offered the full amount, and I always said not to bother and to pay it forward, which I know through other sources they have done now they're in a good position financially. I wouldn't have lent money I couldn't afford to lose though.

No never...my friends are too important to me!

I never have and don't think I would be comfortable with anyone, friend or family, asking me for money.

No.

Also, I'd be awfully wary of someone who knows you are broke asking you for £50. Like your worry and suffering are of less importance than theirs. Smacks of selfishness which in turn would make repayment less likely.

I lent a friend £1000 to buy a car and the same friend £1500 towards her house purchase. She repaid me each time, although it took a bit longer than agreed. We're still firm friends, I never doubted that I'd get it back.

Graham Norton, on his Radio Show, said once something like "Never loan friends or relatives any money, unless you are prepared never to get it back"
Sound Advice.
It does not stop anyone loaning/giving money to people in need-but if you need that money back-Just DON'T.