To think this inheritance split is not fair?

[Big8]

Ok, firstly I know I should be grateful to be getting anything from my grandparents. And I am. But I'm just wondering what the general consensus is on this...

Grandparents have 2 offspring.

Have set aside £x for grandchildren.

There are five grandchildren.

My father has 4. His sister has 1.

Now rather than the £x being split into 5 equal portions for us all

Half of £x goes to Aunts child.
Half goes to my dad's children to be divided between 4.

So say it's £1000

Cousin gets £500.

We get £125 each.

What do you think of that?

No TFP - the Christmas present analogy I used was specific to grandchildren, not your Secret Santa. I would suggest that it's custom and practice to spend broadly the same on your grandchildren at Christmas, all things being equal.

Imagine all sets of parents are sadly deceased. The grandparents give the portion of money they had intended for their dc to a caterpillar sanctuary. They then split their remaining money equally between all their grandchildren.

Wouldn't you expect that?

So why would it be different if the parents are alive?

I had a relative who used to give us children some sweetie money for Xmas. She gave the same amount to each family, so one child got £10, others £5 etc.

We always thought it was unfair, but I can see why some people think it's logic. I guess the Grandparents think they are treating their children fairly, otherwise, 1 sibling is getting says £1000 for their family whilst the other is getting £4000.

That's warped logic - most adult children aren't looking for each family unit to be given the same, they want the children across the units to be given the same, surely?

People making the Christmas present comparison - to be fair, family size does play a bit of a part in how I apportion presents. I have two sisters, one of whom has 2 kids and the other has 4. However, I do not have exponentially more money to spend every time they add to their families! So basically I have an allocation of money I will spend on each sisters' family, and every time they add another kid, the parents' presents get littler :p can't be helped! Also, the older the kids get, the less I will spend on them of the 'allocation', because Christmas is more of a big deal for littlies - for the teens, it's basically just a little something to show you care, surely?

Basically, people who have oodles of kids have to accept that doesn't increase the size of the pot available.

So you split the pot equally between however many there are. Because you love them all equally. And they are all equal members of the family tribe.

How weird to make it about your siblings' family unit.

My dad is one of two - he has 4 kids, his sibling has 1. When my gran died, the estate was split equally between the children who gave it to their children.

Until this moment, it had never occurred to me that my cousin would have inherited more. Truly.

You really need to let this go.

Jiggly, that's not the same scenario, is it?

But that's the point of the OP - the estate is not being divided equally amongst the children (to give to their children, i.e. the grandchildren), it's being given to, divided unequally, between the grandchildren directly.

It's exactly the same outcome though. The OP thinks her father's children should get a bigger portion of the grandparents' estate because he had more kids.

What if his sister has no children? That means her father's family inherits everything.

Imagine if your sibling had 10 kids?

The OP thinks her father's children should get a bigger portion of the grandparents' estate because he had more kids

No she doesn't - she thinks that each grandchild should get an equal share. Leave the children out of this equation - it's about the grandchildren who are inheriting directly.

Your parents choice to have 4 children. I'm sure grandparents have technically given more via presents, maybe even childcare.
Suck it up as circumstances and enjoy your inheritance.

TBH OP it sounds more like your grandfather was trying to be fair to each child, rather than favouring a grandchild.
Honestly i would really let this go.

Why should the choices that your children make have any impact on how you treat your grandchildren? I certainly won't treat mine that way if I have any.

Really unfair IMO.

If the Grandparents were leaving the estate 50/50 to their two dc - fair enough. It's for the parents to sort out their own dc then, whether they have 2 or 20.

But they're not. They're making a bequest directly to the grandchildren -and the grandchildren are being treated very unfairly as a result.

Think of if the Grandparents had a budget of £500 a year to buy grandchildrens Christmas presents. Should they be buying a gift for £250 for one gc and then the other four get gifts worth £62.50 each? Really? No, if it's going directly to the gc, they should all be treated equally.

No "inheritance" thread on MN ever ended well, without the OP being called grabby and entitled. I confess I haven't read every post (cardinal MN sin) but I know how it will have gone.

For what it's worth, I think that the way this will has been divided is unfair. Whether or not you should "expect" anything is beside the point. If the GP has detailed a specific amount for the grandchildren, then I think it should be split equally between however many grandchildren there are. If, however, it comes through to them via their parents (so, in this case, the estate split 2 ways between the GP's own offspring, who then pass what's left it on to their own children), then the "singleton" grandchild will of course end up with more. That's the point at which it is relevant to mention that having more children means less to go round.

That - yep, it's gone that way

It's odd and I wouldn't do it that way.

Everyone would get an equal share.

SirChejin - say one of your kids has years of painful infertility and can't have children while your other one is fabulously fertile and has 5. Would you really leave the bulk of your estate to the children of the fertile child and give the one that hasn't been able to conceive nothing?

I suspect if the situation were reversed and the OP's aunt had 12 kids and the estate (or even a fixed sum) was being split equally, she'd complain that was unfair too.

This is why it's best to leave stuff equally to your children and leave them to give what they want to their kids. Otherwise whichever way you divvy it up (unless all your kids have equal numbers of children), someone is going to feel that their kids are missing out.

I think that split makes sense. If anyone has a "right" to the money it is the offspring and then it filters down from them so if your dad has four children they get a quarter each of his money from his parents and your aunts child gets 100% as she is an only child.

My parents have split their estate in two. Half is split equally between their offspring, and the other half equally between the grandchildren (regardless of how many belong to which child). There are absolutely not going to be any other grandchildren arriving in future, so that's cut and dried.

Disclaimer: we are actively encouraging them to spend what they have as they see fit whilst they're still around.

I think that is the fairest way.

I have 3 DC, my sister has none. I don't think my family should get more than her's because I chose to have more children.

They've split their money equally between their two children.

Fucking hell it's doing my NUT in that people haven't got this.