To rip up DHs contact numbers and bin them because he doesn't respect my property?

[Olympiathequeen]

DH has this habit of not finding a scrap of paper (despite piles of post it notes - which requires him to open a drawer) and a rainforest of usable recycleable paper/ envelopes etc, and just using important documents, cards etc that belong to me.

I was sent some pretty cards from a charity I support which I always use for little notes with presents I send etc. Anyway I've just seen he has taken one and written down an email address and phone number.

I've told him about this a thousand times but he just ignores me so I've taken the card, ripped it to shreds and it's in the bottom of the bin. I will deny all knowledge.

DH is usually reasonable about most things but this really winds me up.
Petty? Yes. Satisfying? Yes. Unreasonable?

Oh God. why would that even irritate you?!
Total. Non. Thing. It's something to write your email address on or whatever to hand.
I'm female. Married for heck of a lot of years. I wrote down a shopping list type thing on a nice notelet type book I found in the kitchen drawers the other day as it was just the right notebook size type to write it on and had pretty neat bordered edges.
Turned out dh had bought them all as wanted them just in case he ever wanted to write down any recipes.
Said I'd buy him some new ones.
If he'd have ripped and ditched my writing at the bottom of the kitchen bin though? Would it have been acceptable?

Any note on something important to you gets copied in indelible marker pen on the front of one of his shirts.

As there's a consequence, ie he can't find the info he jotted down, then in a way it may not matter how it comes to be missing the dog ate it , so long as you can't find it either. You never know, it may have an effective effect, to coin a phrase.

If he'd have ripped and ditched my writing at the bottom of the kitchen bin though? Would it have been acceptable?

If he had asked you, time and time again, to please not write your notes or shopping lists onto his notes as he was saving them for a specific purpose, then yes imo he would have been fine to chuck it away. Also, why the hell didnt you check? You knew it wasnt yours, so why didnt you ask if it was his and if he minded. You sound as selfish and thoughtless as the OPs DH. And isnt it odd how you think its a total non issue because you do it yourself. I wonder how your DH felt about you taking something of his without asing if he minded and scrawling over it.

The paper was OP's. She asked not to spoil it. It was spoiled again. It being still hers, she was at liberty to bin it, it is now useless to her.

If he asks about it, just say "what did you write it on? One of those more cards? No I didn't notice it. I have sent out quite a few of those cards recently though..."

more = note.
Thanks phone.

The paper was OP's. She asked not to spoil it. It was spoiled again. It being still hers, she was at liberty to bin it, it is now useless to her

And that closes the argument!
Nice one Pax

It was hers. Its still hers. If she decides to wipe her arse with it and then post it to the Pope she is at perfect liberty to do that, as its hers. So whichever way you look at it, yes it was ok to chuck it away!

It took a week of scribbling on my husbands work papers to get the point across.

Petty? Yup. But it worked

paxillin Wed 25-Jan-17 02:12:40
The paper was OP's. She asked not to spoil it. It was spoiled again. It being still hers, she was at liberty to bin it, it is now useless to her.

☝️ that

Bump. How are you OP ?

op ripped up her own card and disposed of it in a way she saw fit. writing on it did not make it his.

I'd have done the same OP. Again and again until he learns to respect other people's property.

You need to keep your important documentation in either a locked drawer or file. My dad used to do this a lot so I just removed my things from being easily accessible.

My STBXP does this. It's a little thing, but so were the straws that broke the camel's back. Petty little things, but the attitude behind it all is what stings.
I have a desk. He's taken it over as his space, (for ebaying and solitaire) If i want to get to it to do some paperwork (I do all the admin stuff) he gets huffy as he has to move. I have a small set of drawers for my paperwork, I put my post etc on top then spend a few minutes every so often going through it.
There's always a notebook for general use.
Yet he writes on my letters. On my coursework. My cards.
I went to my PIP appeal, my consultant letters had coffee cup rings and his scribbles on them.
And I know that this is going to sound so pathetic, but after a long journey on Tuesday, we got back and I grabbed the pile of rubbish that had accumulated in the car...food wrappers, receipts etc. In the cup holder was an empty McDonalds coffee cup. I collect the stickers for the free coffee. I specifically asked him to leave it as I hadn't taken the sticker off.
He threw it in the bin.
You're definitely not BU.

You need to keep your important documentation in either a locked drawer or file. My dad used to do this a lot so I just removed my things from being easily accessible.

Why should the person who's stuff is being wrecked be the one to sort it though? "Do not write on my stuff" should be enough and if it isnt, then getting louder and louder until they get it, is acceptable. Expecting the victim of the tosspottery to take responsibility further enables the laziness, selfishness and thoughtlessness of their partner.

You need to keep your important documentation in either a locked drawer or file. My dad used to do this a lot so I just removed my things from being easily accessible.

You do this to protect things from theft or from damage from people who cannot know any better (e.g. children). Not capable adults who are meant to respect you.