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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have got the wipes out??

42 replies

Clotho · 22/01/2017 16:23

Just fallen out with DM over this..
Short story: sat on train on way home next to DM at one of the table seats. We were both being highly antisocial and on our phones. The train was pretty full, some chap sat down opposite me (also on his phone with headphones). Then he sneezes, without covering his mouth and I feel it land all over my hand, side of face and phone! I was totally grossed out and got out my anti-bac wipes (toddler at home -they go everywhere) I wiped my face, hands, phone and the table in front of me. (And shot a disgusted look at said bloke). DM meanwhile is muttering about ME being rude and embarrassing!

Massive row ensues in car, once off train (I can't help it sometimes, 37 and she still baits me). I reckon she's being ridiculous, she reckons wiping it all up is rude and embarrassing..... WIBU to clean up in the train??

OP posts:
Ilovewillow · 22/01/2017 16:24

YANBU - what were you supposed to do sit there with it all over your arm etc! It's revolting!

SparkyStar84 · 22/01/2017 16:25

YANBU

Just yuk! I might not have wiped my face, but definitely the anti bac would be everywhere else. I wouldn't have shot a dirty look, but would have prob pulled a 'how grim is this' face whilst anti bac'ing!

AVirginLitTheCandle · 22/01/2017 16:26

Of course YANBU. Did she just expect you to sit there with someone else's snot on your arm?

Boofeckinghoo · 22/01/2017 16:26

Ewww! YADNBU Envybarf

SparkyStar84 · 22/01/2017 16:27

I just wanted to add it's probably been a long day for you both, the weather is grim. You're probably both tired too.

Can you edit posts on here? Sorry to hijack with a question. Flowers

perfectlybroken · 22/01/2017 16:27

Ooh I'm normally on the other side on the fence when it comes to anti-bac, but being sneezed on by a stranger is grim! yanbu!

AVirginLitTheCandle · 22/01/2017 16:28

Can you edit posts on here?

In short, no.

Wherehasmydevilcomefrom · 22/01/2017 16:28

Ewww. Of course YANBU!

KlingybunFistelvase · 22/01/2017 16:36

Ywnbu to get the wipes out and it really sounds gross, but it also sounds like you were quite rude by shooting him a look and making a giant fuss unless I'm picturing it wrong.

Being sneezed on is grim and he should definitely have used a tissue and apologised profusely, but I wouldn't have lost my shit over it like that if it had been me who was sneezed on. I'm sure he didn't mean to do it and you must have made a pretty big fuss if your mum was embarrassed of you.

With a toddler at home, you are probably exposed to plenty of germs anyway. I have a toddler too and feel like I constantly have the cold! That doesn't make what he did ok btw. He definitely was rude too.

HecateAntaia · 22/01/2017 16:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PastysPrincess · 22/01/2017 16:40

Deffo YANBU. Super gross!!!

cherrycokehead · 22/01/2017 16:42

YANBU to wipe, YABU to have made quite so much of a drama out of it

Figure17a · 22/01/2017 16:43

I think I might be with your mum. In order to avoid embarrassing anyone (which is what most manners are about) I'd have pretended not to notice I was covered in snot. If I had the means and felt I must clear up I'd certainly wouldn't have made a performance out of it as you seem to have

Magzmarsh · 22/01/2017 16:45

I think you were remarkably restrained op. I probably would have given him an ill-advised bollocking and been hauled off by British transport police 😬

DontTouchTheMoustache · 22/01/2017 16:49

Would she think you were being unreasonable if you had picked up a nasty virus and passed it on to DC?

CatchTheRainbow · 22/01/2017 16:50

Did he say anything? Apologise?

I sneezed on a bus and covered my mouth (obviously). The woman in front started grabbing the back of her head and turning around at me clicking her tongue ... it was very much an overreaction. I don't think yours was though.

Liiinoo · 22/01/2017 16:50

I am vehemently anti excessive hygiene but what he did was disgusting. He is the one that should be embarrassed.

Mysterycat23 · 22/01/2017 16:52

YANBU that is disgusting. Did the guy aplogise for spluttering his germs all over you? I'm guessing your mum has form for passing judgement on her adult offspring's behaviour?!

dotdotdotmustdash · 22/01/2017 16:53

I would probably have pretended to sneeze or have a coughing fit and then got the wipes out to clean 'myself' up.

WhereYouLeftIt · 22/01/2017 16:59

Ewww. Not only would I have got the wipes out, I would also have told him to cover his mouth next time he sneezed as nobody wants to be covered in his snot. Grim, so grim.

Your mother is being ridiculous. And tough shit if the bloke felt embarrassed. He should feel embarrassed, and maybe that feeling will prevent him from being so gross the next time he sneezes.

Serialweightwatcher · 22/01/2017 16:59

Ewwwwwwwwwww dirty beggar - why didn't he cover his mouth up? I would have shouted "What the hell" before taking the wipes out and given him my Paddington hard stare - yaaaaack - You were in no way unreasonable - would she have sat their covered in snot? Hmm

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 22/01/2017 17:00

There are probably two sides to this. You weren't in the wrong if you wanted to wipe sneeze spray off yourself, but perhaps your mum thought you weren't very discreet about it and went a little overboard..? A teeny bit dramatic with big sighs and tuts as you scrubbed the table? Grin

It would be a real shame to fall out over what is, in the grand scale of things, a minor disagreement.

Sometimes you've got to think, Do I want to be happy or do I want to be right? and pick your battles accordingly.

I hope you make up with your mum Smile

SparkyStar84 · 22/01/2017 17:02

So your advice would be sit there covered in snot/saliva? There's some really nasty bugs out there I'm sure OP & her DC don't want to catch. Ok playing devils advocate it's the chance you take going out, but to be sneezed on, without the guy covering his mouth/nose is just vile.
If she had left it to wise herself till later, she might have forgot.

NavyandWhite · 22/01/2017 17:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DJBaggySmalls · 22/01/2017 17:04

YWNBU, thats disgusting. He should have apologised.

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