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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

WIBU to say that choirs full of people who can't sing (Rock Choir) are awful?

433 replies

PleasantPheasant · 21/01/2017 22:06

Honestly? I love singing, I think everyone should sing, and sing in groups - it's great. But why all the performances, crap choreography, shitty leaders who also can't sing and are presumably failed musicians. Why can't the ladies (and men) - very few of which can actually sing or understand rhythm, harmony, pitch... - just do it for fun and leave it at that? Why do they think they're amazing singers and their performances are great. From what I've seen they are largely outside, with shit backing music, crap acoustics making the whole thing even worse. AIBU?

OP posts:
cherrycokehead · 22/01/2017 10:26

"And stop blaming me for your lack of confidence, mental health issues, trauma etc. At best it's far-fetched, otherwise it's pathetic."

Wow- any chance you could calm down? Hmm

Strongmummy · 22/01/2017 10:26

Unpleasant pheasant you don't like your own medicine do you? How about deleting the thread?

EvilTwins · 22/01/2017 10:26

lack of confidence, mental health issues, trauma etc. At best it's far-fetched, otherwise it's pathetic.

justanother ODFOD yourself. This comment was out of line.

JustAnotherPoster00 · 22/01/2017 10:29

Did you RTFT? So much hysteria directed at the OP, OP asked IABU and accepted she was but she had a fair point with the 1 you quoted because some pp's have tried to blame the OP for the fact that they wont attend

PleasantPheasant · 22/01/2017 10:29

EvilTwins aha of course, why bother reading what I write. Just paraphrase, make it as goady as possible then leave for others to rip the shit out of me.
Thanks. That is what this thread has been about.
What I said was it's pathetic to pin your lack of confidence and MH issues on me and a stupid thread on an internet forum. And I'm a bit sick of the PA "thanks for making me feel shit when my whole family has died, I have a terminal illness and depression and anxiety and and and"

OP posts:
noeffingidea · 22/01/2017 10:32

justanotherposter I think it's just that a lot of us get pissed off with the term 'middleaged women' being used as short hand for 'naff, crap, old fashioned, uncool, etc etc'.
We come across this attitude a lot and it's sad to come across it on Mumsnet.
I think it's fine for the OP to compare Rock choir to other community choirs, to question their methods and operation and to be generally critical. That is part of the territory when you perform in public. It was just done in a rather personal and insulting manner.

TheProblemOfSusan · 22/01/2017 10:33

I've never heard of this before I think it sounds ace and will look into it when we've moved house.

I'm not middle aged, don't currently have any major life problems, and I can sing really very nicely, tyvm.

JustAnotherPoster00 · 22/01/2017 10:35

Not much the OP could do but appologise, which she did very early on but it stopped being about the middle aged term and more about the reasons why people were doing it and was she invalidating those reasons, she wasnt, just didnt want to hear shit music and have to look grateful for the priviledge, sorry for my spelling and paraphrasing

cherrycokehead · 22/01/2017 10:37

"And I'm a bit sick of the PA "thanks for making me feel shit when my whole family has died, I have a terminal illness and depression and anxiety and and and"

  • Are you referring to the poster who said she had been due to do a taster session, that it had taken her a couple of years to muster the courage to do so, and that reading this thread had made her feel shit about it? How completely arrogant, unkind and dismissive of you. You are making yourself sound like a worse and worse person with every post.
CuppaTeaAndAJammieDodger · 22/01/2017 10:38

Hysteria you say? Nope, no hysteria here. Age old "women speaks her mind and rightly calls someone out - immediately gets accused of being hysterical" - oh how far we have come eh?

Wellthatsit · 22/01/2017 10:38

I don't think OP dislikes Rock Choir because it's populated by middle aged women.

I think she just doesn't like Rock Choir and it's ethos/music. It would generate the same reaction from her if the members were younger and mixed gender.

She was using a lazy turn of phrase. Unless she would find it less insulting if the members were all young and glamourous and sexy, like the pop stars whose songs they are singing...

dailymaillazyjournos · 22/01/2017 10:38

Shelagh Please don't let a few people on an internet thread put you off from going to choir.

The wonderful thing about music - any music - is it's for everyone. It's not just for professionals or gifted amateurs. Music takes over where words leave off. Just being part of a group of people, singing or playing an instrument or dancing - is life enhancing. Doesn't matter how good or how bad - it's about the act of making music. Go to the choir. Sing and bloody well enjoy yourself.

And while no one could be more pro music making at any level than me. I am also middle aged and on HRT and thought the Glee on HRT comment was really funny.

JustAnotherPoster00 · 22/01/2017 10:39

cherrycokehead

No she isnt but you are sounding more and more hysterical the more you post, a tad over invested perhaps? [head tilt]

candycoatedwaterdrops · 22/01/2017 10:39

This reply has been deleted

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FurryLittleTwerp · 22/01/2017 10:39

I agree with you OP!

I agree with the concept of Music For All, but some community choirs are frankly not very good & I wouldn't pay to listen, even if it were for charity - I'd rather just hand over the money directly.

I sing Alto in a local "proper" choir - we sing four-part harmony & have to read music. Carols for Christmas, Requiem masses for Easter & more poppy, rocky stuff for the summer concert. It is good fun & I have made some good friends, plus I enjoy the mental discipline of learning & singing my part.

I tried a community choir - learnt just by copying the leader rather than by reading music. It was fun, really fun, but the finished product was pretty crap.

Foureyesarebetterthantwo · 22/01/2017 10:41

If a family member exhorts you to come to every performance, thinks they are the bees knees and gets cross if you don't go, you have a relationship problem, not a choir problem. My mum is in a choir and wouldn't dream of making anyone go to her concerts, I go about half the time if I can make it, and so do the rest of the family as convenient, it's not a three line whip. In their case, though, even though it's an 'all-comers' choir, they are very good and I look forward to their candle-lit choir service and the like.

The bit about 'failed musicians' is laughable. Of course hundreds of choirs across the land can't all be led by semi-professional musicians, um, they are all working semi-professionally. That said, there is a huge amount of amateur talent out there, including those who have made a good living writing music and as singing teachers.

This reminds me of people who like to mock 'Am-Dram' for this reason- yes, you are not likely to get semi-professional actors or directors at your local theatre, does that mean everyone should pack up and go home? Or not put on any ticketed productions in case the standard of some of the actors (again usually open to all) is not quite as high as the West End stage (having said that, I've seen some quite bad West End stage productions, and some quite good Am-Dram ones!)

Taking part in group activities IS, however the OP is still mocking those who claim it, associated with better well-being and mental health. It doesn't matter if you go to an amateur choir, art club, am-dram production, volunteer group, ballet class/show(which are often ticketed to raise money for the hire of the hall), getting out there and getting involved and having fun with others is incredibly good for you. If you don't like watching people do this, then body-swerve the performance, claim to be ill or whatever. Most people do support their family and friends and children though when they perform in public, even if they are not at an incredibly high standard. It's called participating in life, it's really nothing to criticize.

JustAnotherPoster00 · 22/01/2017 10:41

Rooiboscz hasn't posted (under this name) before and has been solely posting on this thread.

So? Hmm

cherrycokehead · 22/01/2017 10:42

JustAnotherPoster00 tilt your head towards this - "Hysteria you say? Nope, no hysteria here. Age old "women speaks her mind and rightly calls someone out - immediately gets accused of being hysterical" - oh how far we have come eh?"

cherrycokehead · 22/01/2017 10:42

CuppaTea perfectly put!

Badhairday1001 · 22/01/2017 10:43

This is the first time I have ever heard of rock choir but it sounds like harmless fun for the people who join. Surely you could just not watch them if it offends you so much?

Sallystyle · 22/01/2017 10:43

If it's really £10 a week, then that is extortionate, but that's not really what this thread is about >

I pay £20 for a term.

Yeah, if they are singing at the rugby you might not be able to get away from it. But really, if you are so sensitive that you are going to be annoyed by listening to something you think is crap for 10 minutes, Rock Choir is the least of your problems.

You might not want to hear them but that is life. I wonder how some people cope. They get annoyed by people speaking on the bus, they can't handle people eating in the cinema, they can't stand strong perfume, they can't stand anyone eating anything with a smell on a train, and now people hate having to listen to the Rock Choir. I think some people should get over themselves or walk around with ear plugs and nose pegs.

ghostyslovesheets · 22/01/2017 10:44

Meh okay you don't like them - I don't like tories, the daily mail or prawns - so I tend to avoid them

Not sure the level of vitriol is warranted- I'm sure you didn't intend to be massively goads

I am not in a choir (last time I was it was in church as a chorister) but my 71 year old mum is - it's helped her depression, she's made a lovely fang of mates, raised lots of money for local charities and has fun - not really seeing the harm

Oh and OP you will be middle aged one day - sorry!

JustAnotherPoster00 · 22/01/2017 10:46

JustAnotherPoster00 tilt your head towards this - "Hysteria you say? Nope, no hysteria here. Age old "women speaks her mind and rightly calls someone out - immediately gets accused of being hysterical" - oh how far we have come eh?"

'There are some nasty, sneering bastards on this thread. Do you laugh at the special Olympians too, because they're not as fast as people who are able bodied or sneer at children's plays? Or do you just save it for middle aged women?'

Yeah you're right no hysteria on this thread Hmm

Wellthatsit · 22/01/2017 10:47

four eyes - very well put!

Bettersleepoutdoors · 22/01/2017 10:47

JustAnotherPoster00 tilt your head towards this - "Hysteria you say? Nope, no hysteria here. Age old "women speaks her mind and rightly calls someone out - immediately gets accused of being hysterical" - oh how far we have come eh?"
yet, this.