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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

WIBU to say that choirs full of people who can't sing (Rock Choir) are awful?

433 replies

PleasantPheasant · 21/01/2017 22:06

Honestly? I love singing, I think everyone should sing, and sing in groups - it's great. But why all the performances, crap choreography, shitty leaders who also can't sing and are presumably failed musicians. Why can't the ladies (and men) - very few of which can actually sing or understand rhythm, harmony, pitch... - just do it for fun and leave it at that? Why do they think they're amazing singers and their performances are great. From what I've seen they are largely outside, with shit backing music, crap acoustics making the whole thing even worse. AIBU?

OP posts:
candycoatedwaterdrops · 22/01/2017 10:47

It's weird that someone would join a forum and post repeatedly on one thread just to be rude and unpleasant. That's all.

Bettersleepoutdoors · 22/01/2017 10:48

i mean "yes" not "yet"

Bettersleepoutdoors · 22/01/2017 10:50

I don't know why OP gave a Grin for my post.
too confused. off to do some work.

JustAnotherPoster00 · 22/01/2017 10:50

Bettersleepoutdoors I already responded to it

Wellthatsit · 22/01/2017 10:51

Furry, sometimes community choir's sing 'proper music' too. Ours does, which is how we hang onto the singers like you (who can read music and expect a high standard) and it raises the whole standard. It can be a tricky balancing act, not to intimidate those who find it hard, but we manage it by using sound files for people to listen to, and working together as a team. It's great!

ShelaghTurner · 22/01/2017 10:54

I wasn't blaming you for my issues, of course not, that would be crazy. And I'm sorry if it came across like that, it was badly written. Just that when you think something might help and everyone - to your face - tells you what a fab idea it is, to then see that actually most people think you're pretty tragic to be doing it, it throws you. I don't need another reason to wonder what people are saying behind my back. But of course that's my problem not yours.

orenisthenewblack · 22/01/2017 10:55

Omg! £10 a session, that's a hell of a lot. I'm in a mixed choir and it's £40 for the whole year and we're pretty good GrinChoirs should be just for the elite, but should be for those who van at least hold a tune.

noeffingidea · 22/01/2017 10:58

wellthatsit I doubt she would have mentioned it if they had been young or mixed sex. As if young and inclusive of men is the default.
Really she could just have mentioned the singers, she was talking about the standard of the performances (fair enough) so there was no real need to mention their age and sex, as if that reinforced their 'crapness'.

Original poster
PleasantPheasant · 22/01/2017 10:59

ShelaghTurner Oh no worries! I misread too in the heat of the moment, sorry. Well there are an awful lot of positive stories in this thread about the choir to be fair, if you ignore me and a couple of other people - it's not our cup of tea.

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 22/01/2017 11:03

it's not our cup of tea

Original poster
PleasantPheasant · 22/01/2017 11:04

Bluntness Hmm
sigh.

OP posts:
cherrycokehead · 22/01/2017 11:05

Shelagh it is very clear from the majority of posts on this thread that makes people definitely do NOT think you are tragic to want to do it. it would in fact be tragic if it stopped you from doing it. Please ignore those that are sneering, they are very much in the minority.

Rooiboscz · 22/01/2017 11:05

I've been around for years. Pombears, wolef, Brian yoni etc, etc, etc.

I'm drawn to this as, yet again, two of my friends are in a choir and are pushing tickets on the rest of us. A group of us has been to two of their concerts out of a sense of duty, but cringed the whole way through. It was awful and very similar to those youtube videos posted earlier. I wish they'd keep their hobby to themselves.The music is tedious, predictable and just too clichéd, and the sound is appalling.

Just because it's fun for the participants it isn't enjoyable for the audience.

Annie592 · 22/01/2017 11:05

I was also looking at doing a taster for this just the other day. I am not middle aged, don't have any 'issues', have ok confidence and lots of friends. I just thought it looked like a lot of fun. It hadn't really entered my head that other people might be sneering at it, rolling their eyes and saying how embarrassing and cringeworthy it was. No matter how 'secure' you are, you can't help feeling a bit defensive if someone belittles something you love doing. It won't stop me going, and I really really hope it doesn't stop other posters either- but I can see how if you were struggling a bit with confidence anyway that this post could have the effect of making you not want to go for fear of being secretly laughed at. Feels a bit like the popular kids at school trying to humiliate the child choosing to do an activity they deem 'uncool'. Not a nice post at all.

cherrycokehead · 22/01/2017 11:05

*most people not 'makes people'

OnMyShoulders · 22/01/2017 11:05

I can see you've been sufficiently flamed now OP and I'm glad. I'm posting though to encourage the people who were considering joining and have been put off by your sneery attitude. Do it! I had the absolute worst year of my life last year. Infidelity, bereavement, nervous breakdown, it had it all. It took a lot of courage but last week I joined Sing in the City and it was awesome! It was so joyful - everything I hoped it would be. I woke up the next morning, full of energy and still smiling after having forgotten how that felt and I can't wait to go again this week.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 22/01/2017 11:06

It's not my cup of tea either. I'm about as likely to join a choir as I am to run down the street naked. I avoid making sweeping generalisations based on my limited experience because I recognise that it would upset people.

cherrycokehead · 22/01/2017 11:08

Rooiboscz no one is forcing you to be in the audience! And I'm sure your friends would be quite hurt if they knew how sneery you were behind their backs about something they enjoy doing.

MrsHathaway · 22/01/2017 11:08

Why are we allowed (encouraged) to say that school concerts are often comically bad and definitely far more about the participation than the skill, but we go to encourage the performers because we love them and they have great fun doing it ... but we're not allowed to say exactly the same thing about adults?

I have had a lot of singing training and a lot of experience in auditioned and semi pro choirs - I've never paid to go, and sometimes I've been paid to go - some of which are household names. I'm no soloist but I'm a good chorister.

Occasionally a well meaning friend will say "oh, if you sing you should join our fun community choir / join the church choir full time" and I smile and nod non-committally, because no. I don't want to spend hours "learning" music I can sightread. I don't want to sing simple arrangements of pop songs I didn't like in the first place.

The community/mutual support/spiritual uplift of choirs applies at every level from tone deaf beginners to The Sixteen. But for many people that's not the primary reason they go: they want a musical challenge and personal vocal development. £10 a session sounds eye watering to me if you're primarily there for the social/emotional side. It sounds like joining a netball team for a bit of a jog about and the g&t afterwards and not getting any actual coaching.

Is Rock Choir a franchise? It sounds as though some pps' reservations stem from the business model rather than the "fun choir" concept per se.

Go to choir if you want to go. Recognise that choirs differ in their ability, just as runners vary from C25K staggerers to Olympians ... but still lapping everyone on the sofa eating chocolate buttons.

cherrycokehead · 22/01/2017 11:09

This has actually inspired me to join one of these choirs, it sounds great fun

Foureyesarebetterthantwo · 22/01/2017 11:10

Rooiboscz so why not say 'Not able to make it, I'm afraid, have a great time!' You don't like it, you don't think they are very good, don't go.

ShelaghTurner · 22/01/2017 11:12

I thought it sounded fun and I'm under no illusions about it really. My in laws sing in 'proper' choirs and are a different class. This appealed to me because I love singing and it's songs that I know etc. I can't see myself ever taking part in a performance, let alone making people come and listen! Wink

Rooiboscz · 22/01/2017 11:12

I understand that it's good for people. A sense of belonging, deep breathing, making sounds, tension release and all of that. My art group benefits me in similar ways.

It's the public performances that are so unnecessary.

My DS and DH chant on the terraces most Friday afternoons, but I wouldn't expect the public to pay to listen to that and see them in their matching t-shirts.

MNHQ
CarolineMumsnet · 22/01/2017 11:12

Hi everyone. Thanks for your reports on this. We've given the title a little tweak as we can see why some of you thought it came across as ageist.

If you are still feeling het up by what you are reading on this thread, please feel free to take a break from it for a while.

FurryLittleTwerp · 22/01/2017 11:13

Wellthatsit that sounds good. I like the choir I'm in but it can be a bit stiff & stuffy at times.

Some of us younger ones (I'm 51!) would like to do more rock & pop & folk music, but there is much resistance from a small but determined older faction that makes us dress in head to toe black for concerts even in the summer

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