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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to say that choirs full of people who can't sing (Rock Choir) are awful?

433 replies

PleasantPheasant · 21/01/2017 22:06

Honestly? I love singing, I think everyone should sing, and sing in groups - it's great. But why all the performances, crap choreography, shitty leaders who also can't sing and are presumably failed musicians. Why can't the ladies (and men) - very few of which can actually sing or understand rhythm, harmony, pitch... - just do it for fun and leave it at that? Why do they think they're amazing singers and their performances are great. From what I've seen they are largely outside, with shit backing music, crap acoustics making the whole thing even worse. AIBU?

OP posts:
WyfOfBathe · 21/01/2017 23:44

If you don't want to listen to a performance, then don't. No one's forcing you.
Well, no, but I would have to avoid every public event in my town - even the French market had different amateur singing groups performing the whole day.

Rooiboscz · 21/01/2017 23:45

You wouldn't pay to listen to people singing karaoke, and this is no better. Fun to do, but not to be taken seriously,

Original poster
PleasantPheasant · 21/01/2017 23:45

Serin et al. - Why are you asking my opinion if I am so awful, clearly wrong and mean spirited??
If you read my actual posts, I never said anything against men or women of any age singing or doing anything else.
I'm not going to repeat my opinions because they have not been appreciated which is fine.
Middle-aged was not meant as an offence. In retrospect perhaps it could be seen that way. It was an observation, but whatever.

OP posts:
PickAChew · 21/01/2017 23:45

I promise I already have the musicianship, but my voice doesn't always want to know, - hormonally dependent, that one. I recoil as much as anyone else when it misbehaves.

5foot5 · 21/01/2017 23:46

Frankly the personal attacks are getting a bit tiresome - none of you know me and I have said very little that could cause offence.

For real? Your OP was immensely offensive and your thread title suggests a dismissive, derogatory attitude to older women which was bound to upset people.

In amateur choirs, bands or orchestras you will always get some people who are more skilled than the others. Why do they tolerate the less able performers? Well probably because they value the sheer joy of performing with a group of other people who are having fun by making music.

maras2 · 21/01/2017 23:46

Our lovely DIL sings in a rock choir.I've no idea if she has a good voice but it makes her happy and gives her some downtime from a high pressure job and being mum to our gorgeous though sometime challenging 3 year old DGD.

Bushymuffmum · 21/01/2017 23:46

But they can practise singing without doing public performances though.

Do they actually learn and technique or musicianship at these choirs

Could it be that they do it because they enjoy it? And maybe they put on performances to provide a bit of fun in the community? MAybe u could organise an amateur painting auction and raise some money for a local charity? maybe they think it will get lonely people in ur area out and about and socialising/enjoying music?

What do they do with the money they raise on the door rooiboscz?

Destinysdaughter · 21/01/2017 23:46

We will all be 'middle aged' one day, can you give us a list of socially acceptable pastimes OP, apart from knitting and baking...?

Zhx3 · 21/01/2017 23:48

Pickachew, hope you enjoy it!

Rooiboscz · 21/01/2017 23:48

So, all these people saying that Rock Choirs give people a lot of enjoyment aren't necessarily disagreeing with the OP.

They don't HAVE to do the cringefest public performances, they just need to enjoy singing in a choir, like people have done for thousands of years!

Rooiboscz · 21/01/2017 23:50

A lot of the money taken on the door must go to pay the venue, as their concerts are held in large theatres. Cringe.

Bestthingever · 21/01/2017 23:51

YANBU I'm sure it's great fun and has lots of benefits for those who take part but our local choir is bloody awful to listen to. I loved choir at school and we were very good (my mum still has the recordings to prove it!) However after listening to the only local one we have, I just can't associate myself with that rubbish. It's a shame.

Original poster
PleasantPheasant · 21/01/2017 23:51

Thanks, Isadora. You're speaking sense.
So the true moral of this thread asides from never mentioning the word "middleaged" again is:
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent" - Eleanor Roosevelt.
Honestly, much like those telling me to avoid seeing rock choir (would if I could), if my opinions offend you, why not close this thread and ignore me?

OP posts:
Rooiboscz · 21/01/2017 23:52

I don't think many of the participants see it as providing a "bit of fun the community", as they genuinely believe they are worth paying to hear. They're not.

EverySongbirdSays · 21/01/2017 23:52

This thread will be pulled for ageism and rightly so I feel, but in some respects you have a point.

I am in my 30s - I joined a couple of choirs a few years ago both absolute disasters for different reasons. I was hoping to find other singletons or perhaps men my age, but in one choir certainly I was youngest by 20 years and no males.

The other a good eclectic mix of ages, race and gender, but hardly anyone, including most likely myself who could actually sing, and an utterly abysmal leader who thought she was far more talented and capable than she was and victimized people.

glitterazi · 21/01/2017 23:55

You cannot feel sad when you're singing/dancing. It is everyone's right to sing, who decides who "has a good voice" anyway? My mum loves Annie Lennox, Adele and Emily sande - none of their voices/music appeal to me at all. So I just don't buy their albums/turn over radio. If u don't wanna listen to particular singers s'easy really.

Totally agree with this. Singing and dancing to favourite musiccan bring you out of feeling miserable/sad. How is that a bad thing?

glitterazi · 21/01/2017 23:56

a favourite musican not musiccan - bloody internet connection Angry

Rooiboscz · 21/01/2017 23:57

It's not sexist or ageist, as these choirs ARE full of middle aged women. That's not the issue, it's the fact that they can't sing and it's embarrassing to watch them perform.

echt · 22/01/2017 00:02

It's not sexist or ageist, as these choirs ARE full of middle aged women.

Yes it is. Had the poster said "full of people who can't sing" it would have been OK, but you are being tad disingenuous to imagine that those words are value-free. " Middle-aged women" in this context is a put-down. It shouldn't be, but it is.

glitterazi · 22/01/2017 00:02

That's not the issue, it's the fact that they can't sing and it's embarrassing to watch them perform.

How can you tar every Rock Choir with the same brush and say they ALL can't sing? Have you physically sat through a concert from every single group throughout the UK?! Confused
Maybes you're projecting your experiences of listening to a concert on to all the rest, presuming you've sat and listened to one in the first place.

EverySongbirdSays · 22/01/2017 00:04

That's not the issue

No, it's not the issue, the terrible singing is, agreed.

However that could have been said without bringing their age, which isn't the issue, into it and that is what qualifies it as ageism.

FWIW my choir(s) wasn't Rock Choir but I know people in their 30s who DO sing in Rock Choir and other community, audition free, choirs.

Bushymuffmum · 22/01/2017 00:05

A lot of the money taken on the door must go to pay the venue, as their concerts are held in large theatres. Cringe.

If they're held in large theatres they must get quite a few people through the door right? Maybe not everyone in ur community is as narrow minded as you thank god.

I don't think many of the participants see it as providing a "bit of fun the community", as they genuinely believe they are worth paying to hear. They're not.

Again, that's easily solved - don't go! Stop going, and hopefully everyone else will stop going and then at least you will be happy right?

There....it's not rocket science.

BackforGood · 22/01/2017 00:09

YABVU and goady.

I have nothing to do with a Rock Choir so nothing to defend, but think that singing - just like sport - is, and absolutely should be, open to all, from the very formal, highly skilled conservatoire choristers, to the kareoke machine down at the local.
Singing is good for the soul, and, if it's enjoyed by the people who are doing it, then it's a good thing. If you have a finely tuned ear then you will probably only go to the highly skilled, highly trained choristers - which is fine. If you are a true friend to someone who is in a less skilled choir, you would probably go to support them once in a blue moon, because that's a nice thing to do.
But it is downright nasty to say they shouldn't be giving it a go.
Singing lifts the soul, makes people feel part of a community, gets people out the house, and is generally good for the wellbeing, so what a shame you can't just let them get on with it without being so unkind. You don't have to go and listen if your ear is too refined.

Rooiboscz · 22/01/2017 00:09

The fact that they are full of people who have had no adequate training, and just pay their subs and join in indicates that they're going to be shit.

You couldn't just pay a tenner and join and string quartet and expect everyone to want to hear it.

You couldn't just chuck some clay on to a potter's wheel and expect people to pay for whatever you create.

You couldn't just speak with a dodgy French accent and expect anyone in Marseille to understand you.

You couldn't just jot a few brief sentences down on a piece of paper and expect to pass it off as poetry.

These choirs are no different. It's the unskilled and untrained taking a good, enjoyable, fun hobby a step too far.

JeffreyNeedsAHobby · 22/01/2017 00:11

I saw a few of them recently but I don't understand why anyone would bother starting a post about a hobby. I also see shit knitting/pottery/wanky photography/things I would not class as art but sell all around me but they all benefit the people doing them in some way. Networking, socialising, sharing profits to charities and the health benefits against disease (mental and physical, such as dementia) people get from singing all outweigh snobbery from anyone IMO.