To refuse to be ashamed of being a recovering alcoholic?

[ChickenVindaloo2]

Yesterday was 2 years since I became clean and sober. I posted as much on my facebook page. I have only about 60 friends and family and pretty much all of them know there is/was an issue.

My parents knew the full extent of it and how close I came to ruining my life/ending up dead/in hospital etc.

My dad phoned me at 8am and asked I take the post down "because we've got family on there".

I am open about my struggle and have found that several people have asked me about it privately and shared their own worries about being addicted to wine especially.

AIBU to refuse to keep quiet or be ashamed?

Thanks.

Two years is amazing accomplishment, and you should be proud. Go right ahead and tell whoever the hell you want, if they love you they will be as proud of you as you deserve.

Don't take it down unless you want to.

Tell him that you put it there because you are proud of your achievement (and you should be very proud), so it will stay. Tell him too that if he doesn't like it he doesn't have to look at it.

Have others of your family and friends liked it and offered supportive comments?

Congratulations, by the way.

YADNBU. YWBU. If you did feel shame. Alcoholism chose you. You didn't choose it.
Your dad's an evil wicked arse hole.

Don't be ashamed.
Be proud.

I'd be tempted to send him a nice friendly text saying you are sorry he was upset, and have removed him from your facebook so that it doesn't happen again.

Congratulations

Yes, friends have "liked" my post, thank you.

It's strange thinking that my parents definitely fucked up in a few areas of child-rearing. It wasn't on purpose, our whole family tends to be very blunt and doesn't really hold much with "touchy-feely crap". Eg I got slagged constantly by my dad for going to a psychiatric hospital outpatients appointments as a teenager. Even when I'd been under 6 stone due to anorexia.

On the other hand, they have supported me a great deal financially and throughout my studying/training. And have always been there for practical help with car/flat/moving house etc.

Sounds like your drink problem is/was a negative reflection on him. He sounds like a right bastard.

It's only my mum who's on fb so she must have told my dad (they are together).

She previously gave me a hard time for putting up a post with a fairly mild sweary joke in it in case it offended our friends from church.

So yes, I am removing her from my fb page. I'm actually starting to think my mother might have the beginnings of dementia (she's 64) as she is so unreasonable and irrational at times. She has a big alcohol problem herself and, as far as I can see, no intentions of stopping.

Well done - fantastic achievement

Well done you - amazing achievement. I've had similar from my parents re dealing with depression, they are in such denial about an illness that I struggle with yet I'm pretty convinced that they had quite a big influence into why I have the thought processes and relationship issues that I do. It's like they're scared to admit your issues in case they have to look to themselves as to have they have contributed. Completely his issue, you've dealt with yours. Block your Mum from FB, I blocked mine - best thing O did!

YADNBU.

Part of the reason people struggle to get help for their problems is shame.

Never feel ashamed for overcoming adversity. You're only human - you don't have to pretend that you're some sort of infallible robot. I'm sorry your dad has such a shitty attitude about this.

I hope you don't take your Facebook post down.

Congratulations and well done on your recovery.

She has a big alcohol problem herself and, as far as I can see, no intentions of stopping.

This strikes me as possibly the biggest reason you were asked to take your post down, it's made your mum feel uncomfortable about herself and her own drinking.

Stand proud. You are amazing for turning your addiction around and if you were my daughter I would very proud that you've been able to take back control of your life.

If your post makes other people uncomfortable then that's their issue and if they don't like what they read then they should simply Scroll On.

Congratulations. If more people were open and proud of the achievement, then more people would achieve it imo.

The more people who know and support you, the more likely you are to stay on the wagon. It is impossible to do something like this in isolation. Your father is being a twat, ignore him.

YANBU in the slightest.

You can post what you want. And congratulations - it must have been really difficult so your achievement is fantastic :)

I think your last post my mum has problems with alcohol herself has hit the nail on the head. She/they probably normalise and minimise her problem I'm guessing? It's too uncomfortable for them.

Thanks everyone. I've had a good cry about it but feel ok now.

I am my own person these days (I'm 33) with my own experiences, opinions and abilities. I'm not just my parents' child.

Well done you. It's quite an achievement.

IME, when people give something up, such as alcohol, which is pretty ubiquitous in our society, a lot of people will raise an eyebrow & then accept it. It tends to be the ones who have a problem with it who don't like it, perhaps they take it as a personal attack on them & their choice to continue drinking. I'm not a psychologist BTW, but I've never really been a big drinker - aside from at university - & this is just what I've observed. It's always the ones with the Facebook wine pictures every week, who are most vocally critical of other people's decisions not to drink.

Your dad is unreasonable. And a jerk.

You have an addiction, and you're facing it head on. And succeeding.

You should be proud of what you've accomplished.

Well done and congratulations on your two years. Its a massive achievement and one you have every right to be proud of.
You are amazing

Be proud of yourself both for staying sober and for being open about it to be a role model. You would be a rare person if some of your friends did not get some encouragement from it as they battle with their own demons

If your father feels guilty having body shamed you since you were a child then bluntly he can FOAD. You took a brave step to acknowledge a problem and change things, he plainly hasn't acknowledged his own flaws.

Congrats on your sobriety!

I have a similar situation. My parents refuse to listen when I mention my alcoholism (I've been sober just over three years), and tell me to keep quiet about it in case the rest of the family "find out" I was having issues with the booze. I think they may already have some idea, since they saw me at some of my worst points...

I think there's a huge difference between the younger generation and the older generation in terms of this kind of thing. My baby-boomer parents are very much of the "brush it under the carpet" school of thought.