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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think it's common sense to let a w/c user have the w/c spot

957 replies

SparkyStar84 · 18/01/2017 14:41

I've just seen the ruling on disabled people getting priority in disabled spots on buses. Isn't that common sense. What kind of person would deny a w/c user the space because 'pushchair'?
I'm a w/c user it makes it easier in a way to get about with children, though I know some w/c users still have a buggy.
This is about the parents who refuse to move, when asked, by someone who might have an appt or something important to get too. Not saying the parent doesn't. But isn't that the point of foldable buggies over great big travel systems?
It just bugs me that people have had to leave the bus because a parent wouldn't move. As a parent with kids of many ages, also remembering times gone by, the purpose of easy foldable buggies is that you can decamp when on the bus.
Do you think it's an issue that buses need to provide buggy spaces too?

OP posts:
BillSykesDog · 18/01/2017 18:21

But as a frequent passenger with a generally helpful attitude, I would far rather by asked to hold someone's twins while they got on a bus than to hold a 45yo disabled man while somebody folded his wheelchair. The first task I think I could manage safely and competently, the second might be a bit of a push...

Yeah, if anybody had suggested that multiples should take priority over the disabled then you might have a point. But I haven't. I've just pointed out that if a blanket ban on unfolded buggies is brought in then multiple parents are effectively banned if they're not just allowed to get off instead.

corythatwas · 18/01/2017 18:21

Sorry, I missed this, Trifle- why does your baby have to starve if it sits on your lap?

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 18/01/2017 18:21

I reported asking for a strongly worded reply from MNHQ and they obliged. Thank you.

LightTheLampNotTheRat · 18/01/2017 18:21

Tiggytape has taken the time to spell out exactly what I was trying to say about thinking/planning ahead. I knew before my first DC was born that London buses would be a regular feature of our lives - so we selected a buggy accordingly. Why make life more complicated and stressful than it needs to be.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 18/01/2017 18:21

I do agree with Ginger about Trifle's posts though.

RacoonBandit · 18/01/2017 18:22

So is the bloody wheelchair space on a bus!!!

MrsKoala · 18/01/2017 18:22

Expat - So just because the space was campaigned for by others and is designed for them, no one can use it while its empty? Thats a horrible dog in a manger attitude.

CheshireChat · 18/01/2017 18:23

IcaMorgan That's absolutely grim.

The policy I posted is Stagecoach's and quite frankly should be national.

On a good note, some of the newer bus have a wheelchair space and buggy space.

GrumpyInsomniac · 18/01/2017 18:24

Of course I don't, as those spaces are exclusively for disabled people

As are wheelchair spaces, when required by a wheelchair user

11122aa · 18/01/2017 18:25

I think some bus companies will probably want to bring in no unfolded prams ban to prevent legal action.

tiggytape · 18/01/2017 18:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BBCNewsRave · 18/01/2017 18:27

BeyondTheStarryNight That sounds very sensible.

Service no it's nonsense. I had a newborn and a toddler twice over with shopping and wouldn't dream of inconveniencing a person with a disability. Its nonsense and on a par with pandering to sexist and racist behaviour.

Right, so if someone cannot manage because they don't heal from a CS fast enough, rather than some sympathy to their situation we view them as akin to racists? Lovely. Amazing how people will (rightly) stick up for the rights of some, but screw everyone else. All black and white and no shades of grey.

It seems very odd that someone can be unable to drive due to a CS but still expected to wrestle non-walking little ones and a newborn. I say this as someone who would of course get off the bus if a wheelchair user needed the space, but a little sympathy for the person in pain having to wait for the next one would't go amiss. I've not had a CS but struggled enough with minor abdominal surgery - I kept walking too far/standing for too long/lifting things that were too heavy and hurting myself again, as I tried to just get on with it.

And what on earth do you mean by coukd most men manage? What's that got to do with it?

I was (admittedly clumsily) pointing out the lack of sympathy for women in general, and mothers in particular, who seem to have to struggle with an awful lot without anyone giving a shit.

BeyondTheStarryNight · 18/01/2017 18:28

Though note that even trifle takes issue with the "normal people" post!!

GreenGinger2 · 18/01/2017 18:29

Not sure I see the point of your post Sirzy. Pointing out the system needs to work for everyone( and already does in some places) hardly needs you to scornfully suggest a campaign and infer it will take years. Is that what you're hoping?Hmm

Some bus companies already do accommodate all. Hopefully now as companies roll out new stock they will look to other companies who successfully manage to provide safe spaces for all.

chipsandchilli · 18/01/2017 18:30

They should just use the wheelchair space for wheelchairs then the buggy bays for buggy's then that will stop all the hassle of stopping the bus/people refusing to move. The driver could say sorry the buggy bays are full, the wheelchair space is free, you can use that but you will have to fold the buggy if a wheelchair user needs it, if you can't fold you will have to use your ticket on the next service with a free space, same as what happens if your waiting for a bus and the buggy bays full and the wheelchair space is. No one know's waiting for the bus if there are any spaces free so it's already a possibility you will have to catch the next bus anyway.

ThisYearWillbeBetter · 18/01/2017 18:30

as those spaces are exclusively for disabled people.

What is it about "Wheelchair Space" that you don't understand then, trifle? That is, a space for someone who needs a wheelchair to get around - that is, someone who has a disability? (as opposed to someone who is just stupid)

beargrass · 18/01/2017 18:30

So...this person apparently can't possibly find the time to plan journeys, learn how to use a sling or find a collapsible buggy. And will simply not let their little precious 'starve'. But that same person does have all day to post on MN?

I call bullshit. Troll, troll, troll.

Emberroo · 18/01/2017 18:31

Trifle, your child isn't only safer in your arms, they'd be safer still if they were away from you.

Are you Katie Hopkins?

One day you'll be in a wheelchair. I do hope you're still a member of MN.

Original poster
SparkyStar84 · 18/01/2017 18:32

So you have access to a car? As in your partner, close family, close friends?

OP posts:
Chippednailvarnishing · 18/01/2017 18:33

If that makes me a twat, so be it

Yay, Trifle you have finally understood what practically everybody on this thread has been telling you. Congratulations!

11122aa · 18/01/2017 18:34

Katie Hopkins will probably call for a ban on all prams on buses.

SaorAlbaGuBrath · 18/01/2017 18:35

I can't believe I'm about to defend Trifle but the only point in her defence is that even she disagreed with the "normal people" Wanker poster. Other than that, I disagree with everything she's said.

NicknameUsed · 18/01/2017 18:35

I haven't read every post so forgive me if this has already been said.
Having children is a choice. People don't don't choose to have disabilities.

IcaMorgan · 18/01/2017 18:35

Cheshire I know that it's the policy in Brighton too and even told TFL that during my long complaint.

On top of that yesterday there were 2 buggies on the bus and both refused to move. The driver had already put the ramp down so I drove onto it so I was half on the bus and half on the ramp and turned my chair off. After being told I was rude and had no right to the space one eventually moved and I got into the space. Thing is she was only going one more stop so had no need to kick off like that at all

corythatwas · 18/01/2017 18:36

Well Bill, I very much hope a ban will not be brought in: I think that would be really sad and unhelpful and I for one don't wish to see it.

But you have to see that the one thing that is bringing the ban closer is the number of mothers vociferously claiming that they cannot possibly be expected to vacate a wheelchair space if it is needed by a wheelchair user.

It the world (and this thread) was full of people who realised that:

...however hard lifting a baby is, it is still easier than levitating

...folding a conveyance is always going to be easier if you are able to stand

...however difficult and awkward it is asking for help, it is easier if you are asking for something that is feasible (lift a child rather than an adult)

...disabled people have even higher depression (and suicide) rates than new parents and find it even harder to get out and about...

then nobody would be suggesting a ban and there wouldn't be a problem.