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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask whether employers generally don't have a problem with parents working from home?

110 replies

SuperTrumper · 17/01/2017 18:50

I'm on maternity leave at the moment and hoping to return to work in April.

I'm really starting to worry about how the childcare will work; I do have options and I'm sure it will be fine but I am guess I am just anxious about how it will all work until it's in action.

I'm remaining full time; my plan is to utilise MiL for 1.5 days of the week, nursery for 2 days and then I'm hoping to work from home for 1.5 days.

I work for a large well known bank and generally they don't mind home working. I haven't yet asked my boss if my proposal to work 1.5 days at home will be ok, ordinarily I know he wouldn't mind as he knows I work hard at home and don't just sit there in my pyjamas watching daytime tv, however now I'm a mum to a small baby, he might be dubious about how much I can actually get done with a nearly-1 year old

In your experience do employees understand that parents will work at home with their baby in the background and do they just trust that your work gets done?

If he asks me how I propose to look after DS and do my work at the same time I don't know what I'll say other than I'll make sure i work whatever hours I have to work to ensure my work gets completed.Blush

Are there parents here of young babies or toddlers working from home on some days and do you/the employer just accept that there are some days you are just not productive but that you make up for it??

Ps I can't ask my MiL to come over on the days I propose to be home as she has SILs kids on the other days and can't cope with a baby on top

OP posts:
ChampagneCommunist · 17/01/2017 19:29

Having a day off every 2 weeks all year round probably won't work.

Most financial jobs require you to have 2 weeks off at some point each year - it's a fraud prevention measure

unfortunateevents · 17/01/2017 19:36

Working from home does not equal looking after children at the same time. I absolutely would not give any indication to your boss that you even thought this was a possibility at any point. Otherwise, you are planting the idea in his mind that you may be trying to combine the two. As for someone who asked how they will know, well they'll notice when your productivity falls away, or when they call and there is a screaming child in the background, or when you have to cut off a call because your 1-year old has just upended their lunch over themselves. It would be difficult to achieve much with a one-year old and a complete nightmare with a two year old, particularly if they stop napping which gives you no breathing space at all.

ChickenLicken22 · 17/01/2017 19:39

A 9 day fortnight is only(!) a 10% drop
In pay as opposed to 20% for 4 days.

Can you make up the hours during the week so your child can have a half day 1 day a week? If nursery allow for half days.

Or childminders are generally cheaper.

Marmite27 · 17/01/2017 19:46

I also work for a large high street bank, have the ability to work from home, work full time hours and have a 15mo DD.

It's not possible to wfh while she's there. I did 3 hours once as I had something critical to do and she was sick. Worst 3 hours of my working life. And that includes being put at risk of redundancy more than once.

We are not allowed to wfh for childcare, quite rightly IMO.

Original poster
SuperTrumper · 17/01/2017 19:48

Chickenlicken - if you work a 9 day fortnight - presuming you cram the 10th day's hours into the other 9 days then why does that mean a pay reduction if you are working overtime on the 9 days? Or am I missing something? Sorry

OP posts:
BackforGood · 17/01/2017 19:59

I'm glad you have taken on board that what you porposed in your OP is totally ridiculous, and, tbh, people doing that just makes firms put up barriers when others ask to wfh.
I wfh when I'm doing admin / writing up / planning /e-mails, and love it. I consider it to be a real privilege, but there is no way in the world you could look after a 1 yr old and work at the same time.
It become useful when your dc are about 7,8, 9 and still need an adult in the house but can entertain themselves for a couple of hours while you work in another room. (in terms of childcare - it's great for other reasons before then Smile).

WipsGlitter · 17/01/2017 19:59

Agree, we are allowed to work from home but childcare is supposed to be in place.

TartyTart · 17/01/2017 20:01

I would challenge your husband on his job being flexible. We are quite flexible at work, yet I hear men feed their wives the same line all the time.

I take great pleasure in correcting that if I meet them!

ChickenLicken22 · 17/01/2017 20:02

My understanding is you do 9 days work rather than 10 otherwise you are doing compressed hours by cramming 10 days (say 70 hours) into 9 days.

So you would do, say, 63 hours a fortnight and thus get 10% drop in pay.

That's what my colleague does anyway.

JellyWitch · 17/01/2017 20:03

I work from home around a poorly child and around my school age kid a couple of days in the holidays. He lets me get on and it's not a problem on the whole.

With an under 5; not a hope! On my regular WFH day one kid is in school (and I continue working after afternoons pick up); the other one does a full nursery day.

JellyWitch · 17/01/2017 20:08

To add to my previous post: I compress 5 days into 4 and DH does the same. It means we only have to pay for 3 days a week at nursery.

Since my eldest started school I WFH one day as well so he only has 2 days in childcare. It still costs a fortune but is manageable, which fulltime childcare wouldn't be.

SheldonCRules · 17/01/2017 20:13

One off for a sick child yes but you can't seriously expect an employer to grant you days every week at home whilst you are looking after a child. You won't be focussed, as productive or devoting your time to the work you are being paid to do.

Original poster
SuperTrumper · 17/01/2017 20:13

Thanks Jelly, so when you and are your DH compress 5 days into 4, are you still on the same pay, are you doing longer hours in the 4 days?

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 17/01/2017 20:15

" , then they are not permitted to ask about child care arrangements because of equality legislation."
That is simply not true

IndigoSister · 17/01/2017 20:17

Has your husband asked his company about flexible hours? www.gov.uk/flexible-working/overview

This is something for you both to solve, not just you!

BrieAndChilli · 17/01/2017 20:18

I work from home every day but only works part time so do 12-3. All my kids are in school so normally childcare is not an issue.
During the holidays the school do 2 weeks of holiday club in the summer which I book them into, they go to MIL for a couple of weeks a year or she comes to us, DH takes half days some of the time and the rest of the time I either shift my hours to the evening so DH is home and only sometimes do I work with them at home - it's only doable because they are all (primary aged) old enough to play by themselves for 3 hours with the occasional coming into me to ask something and it's not too long a time - I put thier lunch out before I start.
They do still squabble a bit but generally it's ok, there is no way however that I could look after a toddler, I just wouldn't be able to focus on my work and the toddler would get into too much trouble when my focus was elsewhere.

JaxingJump · 17/01/2017 20:18

OP I think you have seriously misunderstood about having a child and working. It is completely unacceptable to not have childcare that matches your working hours at least. You can of course probably save a tiny bit on childcare with not having a commute. But I'm quite shocked you thought you could work from home and mind your child at the same time.

Also compressing 5 days into 4 is just that. You do longer hours for 4 days to cover off the 5th day you are now not doing.

Caterina99 · 17/01/2017 20:19

DH managed to "work from home" and cover emergency childcare for our baby a few mornings last year when our childcare fell through and I had somewhere I really needed to be in the morning. Basically DS took a morning nap of 1.5 -2 hours from 9ish and then could be sat in his jumperoo or playpen or highchair for a bit. Then I'd get home around 12 and DH could make up the hour or so missed time by working late that day.

Fine as a one off, his work is pretty flexible and it wasn't too bad with a 6-9 month old as he could be contained. Now he's a toddler this would be basically impossible and there's absolutely no way his work would approve it for a long term arrangement.

BrieAndChilli · 17/01/2017 20:21

They also know that when the study door I closed I am on the phone and not to be loud or come in. A toddler is not going to understand that

PuppyMouse · 17/01/2017 22:04

OP I work (part time) for a bank and regularly work from home. I don't know what sort of job you do and if this is your first DC but the only time I have worked with my DD around is urgent calls or emails on a non work day (usually rare but have been more frequent of late frustratingly) or I know another colleague who had one of her brood off nursery with chicken pox and she was trying to carry on working and take the day as parental leave to look after him. Despite her best intentions he screamed during most of her calls and it went down like a sack of shit.

If I was your manager I would be happy for you to work at home 1.5 days but not while trying to care for a child.

OhisHOME · 17/01/2017 22:52

If you get approval to work from home at least you'll be able to pick up & drop off baby later/earlier! You may also be able to work longer as no commute.

icy121 · 17/01/2017 23:10

Agree with the PP who said under no circumstances mention this idea to work! Massive black mark against your name if they knew.

Do you know anyone locally you could share a childminder with? Or ask around?

Dutch1e · 18/01/2017 08:37

cakeycakeface I'm self-employed and naively tried to work while being the sole carer for a baby/toddler. I laugh now, at the time it was horrendous

My DP is now a SAHD which goes to show how well the plan worked Grin

rollonthesummer · 18/01/2017 08:42

Can you work 4 days a week (either drop anday or do 5 compressed into 4) do nursery 3 days and mil 1 day?

Trills · 18/01/2017 09:02

I know of one person who works from home with a child without established childcare.

However, she is part time.

She works in the office 2 days.

She "works" 1 more day's worth of work over the other 3 days (during naps and in evenings, and possibly the weekend)

The nature of her work is such that she can be unavailable during this time - no need for phone calls at specified times - and that it is very clear whether she has done the work or not.

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