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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask whether employers generally don't have a problem with parents working from home?

110 replies

SuperTrumper · 17/01/2017 18:50

I'm on maternity leave at the moment and hoping to return to work in April.

I'm really starting to worry about how the childcare will work; I do have options and I'm sure it will be fine but I am guess I am just anxious about how it will all work until it's in action.

I'm remaining full time; my plan is to utilise MiL for 1.5 days of the week, nursery for 2 days and then I'm hoping to work from home for 1.5 days.

I work for a large well known bank and generally they don't mind home working. I haven't yet asked my boss if my proposal to work 1.5 days at home will be ok, ordinarily I know he wouldn't mind as he knows I work hard at home and don't just sit there in my pyjamas watching daytime tv, however now I'm a mum to a small baby, he might be dubious about how much I can actually get done with a nearly-1 year old

In your experience do employees understand that parents will work at home with their baby in the background and do they just trust that your work gets done?

If he asks me how I propose to look after DS and do my work at the same time I don't know what I'll say other than I'll make sure i work whatever hours I have to work to ensure my work gets completed.Blush

Are there parents here of young babies or toddlers working from home on some days and do you/the employer just accept that there are some days you are just not productive but that you make up for it??

Ps I can't ask my MiL to come over on the days I propose to be home as she has SILs kids on the other days and can't cope with a baby on top

OP posts:
EmmaC78 · 17/01/2017 19:06

Sorry, I don't see how any employer would approve this. I am a fairly flexible manager but there is no way I would agree to this unless it was a one off emergency.

MsUnderstanding · 17/01/2017 19:06

I don't know many babies who just hangout quietly in the back ground.

BusyBeez99 · 17/01/2017 19:07

I agree with others. You can't work from home and look after a baby. When I have to work from home sometimes with my 10 year old at home when I have to cover the phone it's still distracting.

With my employer hat on I would not be happy granting a wfh request on this basis. You would have to prove childcare for your child(ren).

Kittykatmacbill · 17/01/2017 19:08

I was told by my hr dept, that you can't work from home and look after a child under 16(!!!!!) at the same time. I did meet one mother who worked from home with a baby, but he was the calmest kid ever and she claimed he sat in his playpen whilst she did her 3 hours of work per day.

Sorry. Up your childcare.

AhNowTed · 17/01/2017 19:08

I think you have the wrong idea here about what WFH is.

You still need childcare.

No employer would imagine that you'd have your DC at home.

It gives you some flexibility for drop off and pick up, but that is it.

flashheartscanoe · 17/01/2017 19:09

I work entirely from home. It would be unacceptable to be looking after a child as well.

Tindel · 17/01/2017 19:11

Just to add my 16 month old only naps at home on someone (naps beautifully at nursery) and I can't even apply for jobs on the laptop if he's around because he comes over and smacks the keyboard. There's no way I can work from home when he's here - my boss is very understanding if I need to be at home to look after him (don't even need to take it as holiday), but if I do work from home, DS is at nursery. I wouldn't be able to work if he was at home

cakeycakeface · 17/01/2017 19:11

Super I used to be full time self employed and I believed I could keep my work going by working flexibly around the baby. I kept it going for three years, and it was utterly horrendous: the pressure, the stress, juggling work demands and baby demands. Working very late at night, most weekends, getting up very ear,y to try work before DD did. I nearly killed myself and I stopped when I got PG with DS because my rotten pregnancy really gave me no choice. I am now a SAHM - mostly because we'd be worse off financially if I worked with childcare costs. But it is only now that I appreciate how much proper quality time I lost with my DD. I'd do anything to get that back. I'd suggest that if you want to be with your child during the day then go part time instead.

Brokenbiscuit · 17/01/2017 19:12

I'm really surprised that you think this would be possible, OP. You wouldn't get much done with a baby in the background.

SparklyLeprechaun · 17/01/2017 19:12

No way, you need childcare. You might be asked for evidence as well.

AmeliaJack · 17/01/2017 19:14

I'm afraid your child is too young for you to work from home.

I work from home at least one day a week. I start work 2 hours before my DC leave for school and (depending on what's happening) may work for up to two hours after they come home.

However these are 9yos. Very well behaved 9 yos who don't fight, take themselves off to make a snack, do their homework and their music practice. I'm in the house but they don't interrupt me other than to bring me cups of tea.

When they were younger they went to child care before and after school as usual and I certainly wouldn't have attempted it when they were pre-school age.

You can't say to a baby "just be quiet while Mummy finishes this call" or make the baby wait to change their nappy.

Have you thought about how it might be sustainable when you have a noisy toddler? It wouldn't be.

AngelsWithSilverWings · 17/01/2017 19:16

I used to work from home for a large banking group. I didn't have any DC then and I gave up the job when DC arrived as there was no option to do reduced hours. There is no way on earth I could have done my work and looked after my one year old!

I had to wait for his favourite TV show to come on ( no catch up TV back then!) and lock him in a play pen just to have a quick shower!

cazzyg · 17/01/2017 19:17

I too work for a large bank and work from home minimum 1 day per week. On occasion it's accepted when there's a childcare issue e.g. illness that we can WFH and look after a child.

However it's very difficult to get work done and look after a young child. It would be frowned upon as an ongoing arrangement.

Can you look at other options such as compressed hours? I do full time over 4 days. Which does mean 4 long days but means I get a day off to spend with DD.

TreeTop7 · 17/01/2017 19:17

My company wouldn't allow this. Their policy is that people who WFH can't also be solely responsible for preschoolers.

As a one-off, in an emergency, it would be fine. They wouldn't approve it on a permanent basis though and they'd be shocked if I deemed it acceptable to ask I think. Be careful OP.

Overrunwithlego · 17/01/2017 19:18

Er no. I wfh but the kids are in school / kids club 8-6 on my working days, and holiday clubs during school holidays. If my 9 year old is ever sick I can manage to still work if he's just in bed / on sofa. If dh has the day off with the kids during holidays I tend to go into the office - saves the embarrassment of having to explain the loud screeching / arguments / play in the background during calls!! With a 1 year old you've really got no chance of getting any meaningful work done.

Original poster
SuperTrumper · 17/01/2017 19:18

Sorry, God my OP sounds ridiculous and stupid, of course I can't work from home with a baby, I knew that deep down but desperately trying to find ways that I can make childcare work around my demanding job.
You are all 100% right and thank you for giving me a reality check.

I need to have a serious think about upping his time at nursery and revisiting our finances.

DH can do the odd pick up and drop off here and there but not much else as his company isn't very flexible.

The compressed days into 4 might work so I will strongly consider that.

I also think I will use some holiday to have a day off every fortnight

OP posts:
PlumsGalore · 17/01/2017 19:21

As others have said no way can you work at home and care for a one year old ha ha ha ha ha, you would be lucky to manage if they were 8 or so. I wfh and have done for 13 years, I also have a new kitten, I am struggling with work with him, conference calls with a mewing in the background and paws batting the cursor don't go well on conference calls when you share your screen!

maybeshesawomble · 17/01/2017 19:21

A nine day fortnight light work (i.e. compressing hours so you can take every other Friday off, for example). The bank I work for supports this. If you use holiday it'll mean no proper break, which you'll most likely need!

maybeshesawomble · 17/01/2017 19:22

Good luck by the way. It's not easy to work out what's best but it can be done.

Lilaclily · 17/01/2017 19:24

Can I ask what those of you who work from home and work for banks do ? Dh is needing a career rethink and this might be something that appeals

Dixiechickonhols · 17/01/2017 19:24

You will need childcare in place to wfh. It will be in your contact or employer will ask. I started working from home again when dd was almost 10 and they asked me if I had childcare in place. I still use school holiday childcare. There was an American episode of super nanny where mum was trying to work - she was forcing child to nap too long in day and then girl wouldn't sleep at night. Employer was phoning mum as she hadn't met targets. It is a safety issue too - you cannot supervise a toddler/young child and work. A one off day whilst a sick 10 year old lies on sofa watching tv is a different matter.

Lilaclily · 17/01/2017 19:25

Sorry op forgot to add it's so hard finding childcare solutions that work, I've just gone back full time after 6 years of part time , it's been a hard slog childcare wise, but worth it to keep my career going

mum2Bomg · 17/01/2017 19:26

Work are fine with anyone working from home and I know someone who does this full time.

The only catch is, she hasn't told them she's looking after a baby as well. Don't know how she does it but I'd be tempted to just ask for what you want and see if you get it. They don't have a right to see evidence of your childcare arrangements and how would you prove your MIL was looking after the baby anyway?! Good luck to you x

HollyBollyBooBoo · 17/01/2017 19:27

No way would my company accept this. You can't be focused on a job and care for your child.

Gizlotsmum · 17/01/2017 19:29

I occasionally work from home if I have a poorly child... but I make it clear that it is an attempt to work from home and if I can't do so I will take it as leave or make up hours. I honestly don't think you could hand on heart make it work...

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