Aibu to be put of by funeral dress codes?

[Funnyfarmer]

Back in November a mum from school tragically passed, I didn't know her to well but felt I would like to pay my respects at her funeral. Just as I was about to get ready I got a text saying the family have requested people are to wear bright clothing. I opened my wardrobe and had nothing bright in my autumn/winter wardrobe even if I had the time to dig out my summer clothing they are just that summer clothing It was a burial, I would have been freezing. I don't know her family and felt I may have percived as disrespectful if I turned up in dark clothing, so I decided not to go. Today I attended a funeral where everyone was asked to wear a Manchester United kit! Luckley this time I had few days notice and managed to borrow a united tracksuit 3 sizes to big, if I hadn't managed to borrow one would I have been expected to buy one? On Thursday I'm attending another funeral where everyone has been asked to wear rastapharian/Jamaican style clothes. I hope I'm not coming across disrespectful because I really don't mean too but it really is putting me off attending peoples funerals who otherwise I would like to pay respect too

I find that 'rudiculous' poem quite comforting.

**ridiculous

Can't remember who put the corpsziller comment but that made me laugh.
As you lay me down to rest
The wake might not be great but my family did there best
My coffin you see it cost a bomb
Money is tight now my pension has gone
Flowers are lovely but I can no longer smell
If you can't donate money maybe there is something you can sell?

Ah I think you should do your best to respect the grieving family's wishes really. I think it could be quite hurtful to think that people were going "oh for fucks sake I'll not go if I have to wear that" when someone is burying their spouse/child/sibling and they just want to inject a bit of colour into it.
I'm going to butcher a poem my grandma read at my aunt's funeral: "don't let me die in the dark lord, and not on a winters day....something something something.... let me die in the summer or the spring so it won't seem so much like the end,lord, but the start of everything"
Anyway, I think there is room for light and positivity at a funeral if that is what the family have asked for. Don't be the dick at the back deliberately refusing to join in.

I was never worried that I would be turned away just that people would think I didn't care enough to make an effort. Normally I would make a effort but the 1st one the dress code was very short notice betime the memo had reached me. The second 2 are in the same week, I can't get time off work and for the United one I've been asked by the family if I can also taxi people so have had very little time to organise such clothing.
I always seem to get funerals in blocks like this. Same with weddings last year I had a wedding in June, July and 2 in august. Same outfit for all though

'DameDiazapam*, no doubt many people do find it comforting, nothing to stop them using it, though I wouldn't want it at my funeral as I happen to think it is mawkish rubbish. Though I will be dead and certainly not in the next room so in no position to care.

Can you get a bit of red, yellow and green ribbon on a pin?
I would not let a dress code (more of a request imo) stop me from paying respects, funerals are not weddings/parties.

Sadly, I'm expecting this one to be a DM headline any moment.

is corpsezilla the new bridezilla?

That did make me laugh! I assumed bright clothing meant not funereal black - just come as you are!

As a Liverpool fan you'll never get me in a Man U kit!

Never heard of a dress coded funeral other than "no black" before!

I went to a funeral recently where men were asked to wear colourful or funny ties, and I think that all the men - and some of the women - did this, but to varying degrees e.g. some wore bright yellow ties or ones with cartoons on, while others wore burgundy or navy.

When I went to one with a bright dress code, again different people took this to different extents: I wore a bright pink blouse with black trousers, some people dressed all black except a tie/scarf, and the deceased's best friends all turned up together in loud patterned shirts and brightly coloured shorts.

I think people are much more likely to feel that you didn't make an effort if you don't show up, than if you don't fully adhere to the dress code.

Agree with SJ257, it's not a requirement you can still wear what you would normally to a funeral. I went to one recently for a football mad person and his family asked people to wear Man U tops. I didn't have one and he knew I hated football so just wore my usual funeral outfit. I'd say half wore Man U/red and the other half wore normal funeral clothes.

I'm with GilMartin in terms of the dress code, not the holding in of tears tbh. I try to respect the wishes of the family (I've only ever come across 'bright colours' if not wearing normal mourning clothes, not any fancy dress type ones). Like OP, it just doesn't "feel right" to me though. That said, when I've been at a funeral that have requested bright colours, there have always been people that turn up in normal funeral clothes - no idea if it's through choice or through not having heard the request, but either way, nobody has ever been bothered as far as I'm aware.