AIBU to be upset at the council?

[TurtlesAreAwesome]

Sorry, this is likely to sound like a rant, but here goes...

I've been registered as homeless for a year and I've been living in the temporary accommodation that was offered for nearly 6 months. They promised to do the repairs soon after I've moved in. They've not done anything. I've got a 2 month old baby in a severely damp, cold house, where I can't take a shower (due to broken doors, mouldy and broken shower unit). I was meant to be having disability rails installed but they decided they can't be arsed doing that either. The occupational therapist said in September that the house is unsuitable.

The midwives and health visitor weren't happy that I was stuck in a house in such a state of disrepair on top of a massive hill when I've got a disability. So my housing officer offered me somewhere else (another temp) back in November. I've never actually been allowed to move into there, despite her promising it will be definitely before Christmas.

Basically the damp is getting worse and half of my door fell in yesterday. I called up the council before and they said there's another temporary place that they can't get rid of over 10 miles away, but I wouldn't be moved back to the area in which I'm living in and is on quite a rough estate where I'd stick out like a sore thumb and be very isolated.

Am I being unreasonable to be upset that other people are being offered things that would have been suitable for my daughter and I and they're just trying to get rid of somewhere on me and not letting me move into the place where I was offered?

No-one is being judgey, (whatever that actually means) nor as far as I can see reading the newspaper. The OP is "judging" various people for not doing their bit to help her and various posters have, as is the form, offered advice and asked questions.

That house is slap bang in the middle of the estate and I'd still have to put over £100 per month towards it.

BadKnee. What do you want me to say? That I'm going to have a load of kids to get a 'council' house?

And you won't get the 2 bed HB rate with a baby.

Am I some exception to the LHA rules now?

A child under 10 is entitled to a room.

North Wales isn't currently renowned for employment opportunities. So it's extremely unlikely a disabled woman with sole care of a 2 month old baby is going to get viable employment.
Splitting housing responsibility out has enabled more buck passing.
Are Social Services involved with you? The HV could presumably invoke intervention. Not for your parenting abilities because you are absolutely doing safeguarding and care but because you're both in need of assistance.

I cannot believe some of the fucking awful responses here.

Op - you are in a very difficult situation. Firstly, well done for escaping the domestic abuse. Does not matter how, when or why baby is here, fact is, she is and you are taking steps to safeguard you both.

I'm not sure how many parents would wish to return to work when their baby is 2 months old - I certainly would not. Also not sure where she is meant to conjure up childcare from in a couple of days with a lack of paternal or family support. Even if you did want to use registered childcare there is often a long waiting list (never mind the expense).

As for obtaining child maintenance - if only it was that easy...

As for all the arsey/judgey comments - unless you have savings and/or a good support network it is surprisingly easy to find yourself in similar circumstances. Despite having a young baby the op is clearly trying to resolve this situation. Yes, she needs to be more open about accepting suitable properties that may be in areas that are not of her choosing.

In your situation I would contact Children's Services - Early Help should be able to assist, a Child in Need plan may also be appropriate. Chase up Adult Services too.

Keep politely badgering people. Ignore the ignorant posters.

Splitting housing responsibility out has enabled more buck passing.

THIS.

I agreed the child in need referral a couple of months ago due to the situation and they suggested an agency that I already work with and asked if I had any other support needs regarding caring for my baby, which I don't as I think we cope quite well as a little team. I will try adult services.

And I will badger the housing tomorrow. Hopefully environmental health will be some help. Thanks to all of the helpful replies.

Yes, HelenaDove, but it still doesn't mean the OP needs her forever home now. I'm also not saying that she needs to keep moving either but her and her daughter do need to get out of the place they are in asap, and if that means for the time being a 1-bed place because that is what she can afford right now then surely that is better than staying where she is on a longer term basis? I

t also depends on what adaptation is required. Neither you nor I have that information, or what exact issues her spine causes her so it could be as simple as rails, as she has said the OT has said she needs.

I'm not advocating that the conditions she lives in are OK and shouldn't be sorted out but, personally, I'd be looking at every option to get myself and my child into a safe and healthy environment not just my forever home, which is obviously unattainable in the near future.

At no point have I had a go at her, so not quite sure why you felt the need to use that tone. All I have given is an alternative option for the short to mid term to get them in a much better place, where she will feel better, safer and be in a better position to plan the next step after that and their futures. I'm talking about one move not a dozen.

Fair enough hels Sorry I agree. its a crap environment for the child as well as the OP.

But the longer the OP goes without the adaptations that she needs the higher the possibility it may make her disability worse or cause pain.

There aren't any 1 or 2 bed private rent ground floor flats available at the moment in this area. The cheapest place which would be suitable is too expensive and slap bang on an estate.

Go back to children's services and ask for additional support. You need a lead professional to liaise with agencies. Did you have a Child in Need plan with regular Child in Need meetings or did they simply signpost you to the agency you were already aware of?

Letters of support may also be beneficial - stay strong and don't be fobbed off. It's worth considering whether Women's Aid or similar organisations have any programmes available that may be beneficial, e.g. the Freedom Programme.

Am I being unreasonable to be upset that other people are being offered things that would have been suitable for my daughter and I

The thing is OP, for people to have been offered that accommodation they too must have had a need for it and are likely to have been waiting for longer than you. Lots of people are in dire straits on housing waiting lists, and you could be in for a wait of many years. You've only been waiting a year, that's no time at all.

With a new baby, I think it's more important to get into somewhere that is clean, safe and dry than worry about losing your place on a list that you could spend years waiting on. Your daughters quality of life, and yours too, is more important. Also, if you found a one bedroom place you could stay on the housing list as you'd still not be in accommodation that suits your needs.

Yes, ideally the temporary accommodation would be much more suitable but your responsibility must be to put your baby's needs first now. You've persevered trying to get the temp accommodation sorted to no avail, you've done your best, time to find somewhere else. Hope you find somewhere you can get settled

It's true that other people have needs and will have been waiting ages themselves.

The OP has a disability and requires adaptations to any property. As another poster pointed out - she will need to be settled in a suitable property to enable these adaptations to be made. The local authority won't just fund adaptations every time she moves.

That is very true about the adaptations being needed. Unfortunately, it sounds like either there's too much red tape to get it sorted quickly or someone is dragging their feet for whatever reason. Obviously, neither should be the case. I wish I had a magic wand to sort that out because it sounds like a horrendous and incredibly frustrating situation to be in.

The people I'm referring to went on the list at similar time to, or after, I was on the list. One of the girls I was in the original place with was waiting two months and got permanent housing. Another girl did wait 6 months but she got something quite decent at the end of it. A couple were in and out within a month. The other pregnant girl got somewhere permanent in October, so waited about 7 months. The only one who didn't get anything had basically refused everything, but she was elderly so they didn't put her out, which is fail enough when someone's 90.

To be fair, none of those were DV cases.

I think it's case of them dragging their feet. I think they're thinking that if they make me stay there long enough, that I will leave of my own free will.

If i was a cynic i would say feet are being dragged because you having a disability is basically going to cost them more.

Yeah and it's easier to fob me off so I'll be another council's problem.

With you having a young child/baby your health visitor should be of some help to you and environmental health department also as they will asses the house and push along repairs if a danger to your child's health as they may well condem which would force repairs or relocation that's if the same as England of which I don't know of course if it is,
I don't speak from been in the situation but I speak from helping someone in a simmillar situation

You have received some good advice here.

Hope you manage to get it sorted.