Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be upset at the council?

211 replies

TurtlesAreAwesome · 16/01/2017 20:05

Sorry, this is likely to sound like a rant, but here goes...

I've been registered as homeless for a year and I've been living in the temporary accommodation that was offered for nearly 6 months. They promised to do the repairs soon after I've moved in. They've not done anything. I've got a 2 month old baby in a severely damp, cold house, where I can't take a shower (due to broken doors, mouldy and broken shower unit). I was meant to be having disability rails installed but they decided they can't be arsed doing that either. The occupational therapist said in September that the house is unsuitable.

The midwives and health visitor weren't happy that I was stuck in a house in such a state of disrepair on top of a massive hill when I've got a disability. So my housing officer offered me somewhere else (another temp) back in November. I've never actually been allowed to move into there, despite her promising it will be definitely before Christmas.

Basically the damp is getting worse and half of my door fell in yesterday. I called up the council before and they said there's another temporary place that they can't get rid of over 10 miles away, but I wouldn't be moved back to the area in which I'm living in and is on quite a rough estate where I'd stick out like a sore thumb and be very isolated.

Am I being unreasonable to be upset that other people are being offered things that would have been suitable for my daughter and I and they're just trying to get rid of somewhere on me and not letting me move into the place where I was offered?

OP posts:
Original poster
TurtlesAreAwesome · 16/01/2017 20:39

Helena, I know, it's a joke. I know it could be worse, but I'm really at the end of my tether. It feels like they're basically driving me to pack my things and leave, so they have one less problem.

OP posts:
Original poster
TurtlesAreAwesome · 16/01/2017 20:41

If I got pregnant whilst I was living in a 5 bedroom house, living in a leafy London suburb, I could still have been in this situation. I'm not sure why people feel they have a right to judge whatever choices I may have, or may not have, made based on one post.

OP posts:
SheldonCRules · 16/01/2017 20:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

hotdiggedy · 16/01/2017 20:42

I'm not sure how I'm being disrespectful by asking my question. However, you seem to be very defensive about it. Hmm. Who said I was judging you? I was simply asking a question. It was bound to be asked sooner or later.

Original poster
TurtlesAreAwesome · 16/01/2017 20:44

I'm not with her dad and I can't afford private rent in this area, or anywhere local enough to avoid astromical removal costs.

OP posts:
BadKnee · 16/01/2017 20:44

It isn't a lack of respect. You have complained quite rightly about the Council. You have complained that other people have gone ahead of you on the list without knowing their circumstances.

You have been offered accommodation which you do not want to take - for good reasons - yet you are complaining that you cannot have what you want in the area you want it.

You mention how the midwife and HV are getting behind your cause because it is no place to have a baby - quite rightly.

So the question is relevant to your situation.

HelenaDove · 16/01/2017 20:44

the repairs still need to be done because if the OP does move out someone else will be moving in.

Original poster
TurtlesAreAwesome · 16/01/2017 20:45

I'm being defensive because instead of trying to be helpful, you asked a really judgey question. I feel like I'm in a firing line for something which is irrelevant. Even without my daughter, the place I'm living in would be unsuitable.

OP posts:
HelenaDove · 16/01/2017 20:47

EXACTLY The disabilities you have would still be there along with the dilapidation of the accomodation you currently live in.

kerryob · 16/01/2017 20:47

You need to report his to environmental health, regardless of the fact it is council they need to meet the basic requirements. They can serve an informal notice on them but it is a report you can use to take your complaint further if they fail to do anything.

england.shelter.org.uk/housing_advice/repairs/poor_conditions_in_council_or_housing_association_homes

If they fail to sort this out you can take it higher

BadKnee · 16/01/2017 20:47

It must be tough - your baby is young - that is hard - but you owe it to her to get her father to contribute and take some responsibility and to take what is offered so that she is safe and cosy.

kittybiscuits · 16/01/2017 20:49

Your thread seems to have attracted some goady fuckers OP. Sorry for your predicament.

Soubriquet · 16/01/2017 20:49

Would the HV be willing to attend an appointment with you with the council??

They might listen more to a "professional"

HelenaDove · 16/01/2017 20:49

Out of curiosity OP what is the weekly rent for where you are now.

Original poster
TurtlesAreAwesome · 16/01/2017 20:49

I've got them coming around tomorrow. The problem with this place is that it's temporary accommodation, so not actually owned by the council. What can I do if shelter still decide not to deal with it?

OP posts:
Mumzypopz · 16/01/2017 20:50

You have said you are not with the Father, but he still has a responsibility to pay for his daughter.

Cupoftchaiagain · 16/01/2017 20:50

Please ignore the judging: needing help in one area of your life does not mean every choice u ever made has to be held to some imaginary moral standard. Also, it's not helpful to u or your child.
Now, I would imagine u r in need of concrete advice and probably some emotional support too, it all sounds horribly stressful. Can u meet with your housing officer again and go through the options. Exactly why are they not repairing it? Is there anything they or u can do for the damp? Are u able to heat it more, open Windows? Are u claiming all the benefits you are entitled to? Can anyone - family maybe- help with a dehumidifier?
How's your mood? Can u meet with health visitor again and maybe enlist some support there (they r v busy, but may be able to refer u on)

MoreThanUs · 16/01/2017 20:50

Even if you're not with your DD's father, he needs to be financially supporting her. I would say he has more responsibility than the state towards her, so if direct some of your anger and frustration in his direction. Have you got a financial agreement with him in place? It would help with your rental options.

HaPPy8 · 16/01/2017 20:51

Can you move back in with family?

HelenaDove · 16/01/2017 20:51

Are you on Twitter OP?

MycatsaPirate · 16/01/2017 20:51

If the op needs disability rails etc put up then pointless going to a private let if that let isn't going to be longterm.

If you are willing to move out of the area, could you speak to other councils and see if they have anywhere which would be suitable for you?

I am wracking my brains trying to think of somewhere to help advocate for you but struggling. One of my friends was in temporary accommodation with her son who has a disability for two years. It was an utter nightmare as he has no sense of danger and it was a flat up two flights of stairs and no window locks. She had to battle endlessly to get even locks fitted and finally has a proper place to live in with him safely.

I can only suggest you keep on gathering evidence through things like environmental health, your OT, health visitor etc and keep pushing and pushing the council to house you permanently.

Good luck.

LottieL · 16/01/2017 20:52

With regards to moving costs can't you get assistance with these? I understand the reasons that you don't want to go to a different area (due to family) but can your family not babysit / help out so you can get a job and find something more suitable? It may help you to get sorted quicker if local agencies aren't forthcoming in assistance. I think I'd prefer to do something like that instead of waiting for them, which based on your experience so far isn't proving very fruitful.

Original poster
TurtlesAreAwesome · 16/01/2017 20:52

The HV has spoken to my housing officer on the phone, who keeps being told that I can move into the place in which I was offered, but is unavailable. Hmm

The rent for this house is £148 pw, I think. It's a lot for a small property in this condition. Obviously the size isn't my biggest concern, if it was just cramped but otherwise suitable, I'd count myself very lucky.

OP posts:
Cupoftchaiagain · 16/01/2017 20:53

Sorry for the million questions,, And if i came across as bossy. I just feel for you, And got really pissed off at your situation - it's not right and not ok for any family to be living like that in this day and age!
We were homeless when I was preg, luckily could live with family so was v different, but can happen to anyone! Am sure u r doing a great job.

TooSmittle · 16/01/2017 20:54

This all sounds awful, I'm so sorry for you.

Is there any way you could manage a one bedroom private let in the area you need to be? I know it's not ideal but it might be a start and at least clean, dry and safe. You can look out for two beds while you're there and will have references to offer for your new place.