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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask how happy you happy you are?

72 replies

Diel · 16/01/2017 11:35

Just that really. I wouldn't describe myself as generally happy or unhappy, somewhere inbetween. I wonder how happy other people would say they are. I know that the term is subjective but interested in how people view their personal happiness.

OP posts:
Writerwannabe83 · 16/01/2017 11:42

What a hard question to answer.

I have a job that I absolutely love and get a lot of personal satisfaction from which obviously makes me happy but sometimes it causes me a lot of stress and worry to the point where I dread going in so it's not all good.

I have an amazing husband who is a fantastic man and I'm happy because I'm lucky to have him but sometimes he really pisses me off too Grin

I have a son who I love more than anything and he brings me so much happiness but some days he is a nightmare and pushes me to my very limits!!

I have close friends who I don't see often enough but they're there for me whenever I need them and I and have a wonderful family.

I'm currently 9 weeks pregnant which I'm happy about but I'm having a really awful time with sickness and exhaustion and headaches and some days I think "Why have I put myself through this again?"

I guess my point is that things are never as black and white as happy or unhappy.

I have a lot of positive factors in my life and when everything is going well I feel on top of the world and definitely happy but at other times I could cry.

RedHelenB · 16/01/2017 11:44

As the Smiths siad " I'm not happy and I'm not sad" for most of the time. I do feel content most of the time too, occasional worries now and then.

SerialReJoiner · 16/01/2017 12:23

I'm happy in that the course of my life has more or less led me to a point I'd most like to be at. But I struggle with stuff like anyone else and the day to day slog can get tiresome. I have no regrets and wouldn't change anything, so I'd say I'm content and happy.

dangermouseisace · 16/01/2017 12:27

I'm miserable.

GetAHaircutCarl · 16/01/2017 12:29

I'm a naturally glass half full person.
I'm also terribly enthusiastic about lots of things.
My mum says I was always this way.

user1484317265 · 16/01/2017 12:34

I'm pretty happy. I have sod all money and many things in life are precarious and sometimes difficult, but my family is in general healthy, fulfilled, and very happy.

EverythingEverywhere1234 · 16/01/2017 12:35

I'm a naturally resilient, optimistic person and honestly, I am happy. I've had some terrible things happen in my past and my childhood, between abusive parents and a violent ex, and one of my biggest struggles is my disability, which is progressing alarmingly fast and causing bigger problems every day.
On the flip side, I have a wonderful DP with whom I am planning the biggest adventure of our lives (travelling), a generally lovely family, a home, my little dog, a job I don't hate and a car I love. So, for examples, there are some big things and some materialistic little things but they all make me smile. I'd rather focus on the good and I am lucky that my mentality allows me to do so.

KC225 · 16/01/2017 12:37

I was discussing this the other day when I had asked a third friend who had made some life altering decisions (leaving 25 year old relationship) of they were happy. The friend pondered it for a moment said 'mostly, but is anyone?' My friend decided the third was NOT happy but I was there in front of her and I don't think she had regrets or was unhappy.

This got me thinking, I think happiness is a state of reflection. One of my happiest times was when my twins came home from the hospital and they were about 6 months to a year. I remember my DH and I spending loads of time with them. It was a lovely summer, we went for loads of walks, picnics, trips out etc. But the reality was I gave up my job to be a SAHM to our late in life twins but five months after they were born my DH was made unexpectedly redundant just before we were about to put an offer in on a house 200 miles away. In six months we had gone from double income to no income, living in a one bedroom flat with the credit crunch looming.

Am I happy? Way too much pressure for the here and now. On reflection, looking back and thinking 'oh that was a happy time' is the best way to make that judgement call. Life is too multi layered and complicated to have a blanket happiness cover.

Good luck OP

terrythetrex · 16/01/2017 12:41

I am generally a positive person, and believe everything happens for a reason (for the most part) So generally I am happy.

Beginning/Middle of last year was a rough, money troubles and an ill dh but this year, our childcare bill comes down, so we should be able to live on our salary and not just exist and hopefully we are coming to the end of my dhs illness.

So whilst I am happy, the difference this year is I am also positive about the future

TheFabledSnake · 16/01/2017 12:46

I have depression and have 'manic' periods. So sometimes happy, sometimes utterly miserable. Depends on the day, really.

I do try to be positive, but find it difficult.

DearMrDilkington · 16/01/2017 12:53

My moods are very up and down. One day I'm on cloud 9 and the next I'll be crying all day over absolutely nothing.

I'm having a good day today though.Smile

Bobochic · 16/01/2017 13:15

I'm quite happy though have a lot of loose ends to tie up and a great deal of uncertainty to deal with in 2017. I'm very much a problem solver by nature and find cheery optimists and gloomy pessimists incredibly annoying and superficial. Roll your sleeves up!

Elphame · 16/01/2017 13:17

At the moment the smell of poaching oranges from the kitchen for a batch of home made marmalade is making me happy.

Yes most of the time I'm happy I guess.

Oblomov16 · 16/01/2017 13:22

I'm probably not a naturally happy person. Not glass half full, to overflowing. I want for nothing and have a lovely dh and nice friends etc, but I deserve all that, it doesn't happen by accident.
I am not naturally happy, but I'm fine, I trot along nicely. I have had a few problems, and god I cried a lot over those. I was miserable. but that was a certain situation, day-to-day I'm certainly fine. I doubt any of my friends would describe me as at all miserable.

yummycake123 · 16/01/2017 13:26

I'm grateful for what I have: a job, a lovely DS, lovely DH... I'm grateful we are healthy, and that we have what we need.
But I stress a lot, and sometimes I focus on what we don't have: financial security (OH don't want have a job so I fee a lot of pressure), we don't own our house, etc
I would say I'm generally happy. I enjoy the little things in life... spending time with my family makes me very happy. But some days I get really low.

mumofthemonsters808 · 16/01/2017 13:31

I was until the menopause kicked in, my moods are swinging from euphoric to very low. I keep transporting my mind back in time and dwelling upon all the shit things that have happened over the years, sometimes I just can't get beyond the negative thoughts and I know I'm very hard to live with at the moment.

megletthesecond · 16/01/2017 13:35

Not very. A job I have to tolerate and endless work / life balance stress. Add to that one child that doesn't sleep in the evening and one that wakes up too early and I'm just functioning, not living.

Oysterbabe · 16/01/2017 13:36

I would say I'm very happy.
Happy marriage, nice home, good job, amazing DD and ttc #2. I am generally a very positive person but know I have a lot to be thankful for.

dowhatnow · 16/01/2017 13:37

Generally yes. I have a lovely life and sometimes think I should be really happy rather than just happy, if that makes sense.

OccasionalNachos · 16/01/2017 13:40

I am mostly happy. I agree very much with what a pp said above, that happiness is reflective.

I have low days & sad times in my life, like everyone. But my day to day existence is pleasant. I look forward to things, I rarely dread them.

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes · 16/01/2017 13:44

I am reasonably happy, returning to work next week after a couple of ops and a while off so will not be happy then as I find my job very hard and stressful and don't feel I do it very well. DH is retiring in 3 weeks so won't be happy then either as we always planned to retire together but he has a better pension than me and can afford to, I need my salary sadly. I am still sad about losing my mum which still has the ability 18 months on to reduce me to a tearful wreck, both my lovely son's are away from home too, one working away the other at Uni and I miss them. however life still has pleasure in it for me and I find I have great moments of happiness in amongst the shit so am thankful for that.

ClumsyFool · 16/01/2017 13:51

I'd say that whilst there's always room for improvement I'm generally happy. Small house but affordable and with the things we want in it and food in the fridge. Good health and a mostly happy marriage. Getting somewhere in my career which is satisfying. Also I look at it on balance and think back to my late teens/early twenties that held some rather dark and difficult times, that's when I realise that I'm actually bloody lucky and happy as things could so easily have gone another way. My issues are only minor and when things do get to me I just think back to those days and remember I'm lucky and shouldn't complain (although I still do sometimes Grin )

stumblymonkey · 16/01/2017 14:14

I have bipolar disorder so it changes day to day and I don't necessarily have any control over it. Today I feel incredibly miserable, yesterday I was happy.

Nothing has happened to make me feel miserable and barely able to function today, my brain chemistry just doesn't work properly. It's like having a broken thermostat.

Rainydayspending · 16/01/2017 14:19

I have fabulous children, but my eldest is currently a bag of angry hormones and that's a struggle. I have no job (SAHM) and get pretty much treated as a non person as a result. Also many days at a time without adult contact (DH works away)
I go to baby groups but basically know noone else more than in passing with a baby so no baby friends for DS.
Overall i probably should be miserable, but i am ok.

Strokethefurrywall · 16/01/2017 14:26

I'm always happy and I try to make sure I reflect on small gratitudes daily.

I find the "being grateful for the DH/kids/house/job" a little wearing, we are always grateful for those things aren't we, but it's hard to really "feel" the gratitude as their being there is a constant thing.

For me, I find that little ball of warm and fuzzies when I open my fridge on grocery day and it's completely full up, or I come home on a Friday and we've got steak planned and a bottle of red and the whole weekend stretching out in front of us. Or when I wake up the morning after a fast day and I can break my fast with a decent breakfast.
When I wake up on pay day and I clear all the bills, or like when I woke up yesterday morning and my kids had let me sleep until 8.30am.

I'm always always an optimist, I was born this way I think, and I really hope it rubs off on my kids.

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