to ask how happy you happy you are?

[Diel]

Just that really. I wouldn't describe myself as generally happy or unhappy, somewhere inbetween. I wonder how happy other people would say they are. I know that the term is subjective but interested in how people view their personal happiness.

It's Blue Monday and I am feeling blue. Nothing wrong with my life but I am shattered after a hard day's work and now I have to make dinner and then repeat, repeat all week long.

6DEMANDINGCHILDREN that is lovely x

An excellent book for improving happiness is The Chimp Paradox. I started reading it because of a MN recommendation and am already seeing amazing results. The other one is Hal Elrod's Miracle Morning.

In answer to your question, much happier since I started reading these books and following their advice. I also suffer from long term depression and am medicated for it. My pipe dream is that one day I'll be able to self manage without the meds but I've been dependent on them from nearly a decade. Still, it beats feeling constantly miserable!

I think being perpetually happy is a bit ambitious, and aiming at general contentment is more achievable, with high and inevitable low periods.

I am mostly content and reasonably relaxed. I own and manage a great small business which I absolutely love, DH and I have a good relationship, and we are settled finally in our own home so I have a measure of security. Money worries are hopefully mostly behind us. I have some nice friends and am able to spend time doing things I enjoy. My sister and her children give me a lot of joy, though they live too far away.

My elderly, difficult parents cause me a lot of worry (though whose don't?), and I fret about my old age with no children to help see to me. I have periods when the state of the world makes me angry and upset.

Overall I think happiness and contentment is an outlook on life rather than something which happens to you by luck, though there are exceptions of course. You get people like my mum who are endlessly discontent and dissatisfied, and no matter what happens, the grass is always greener for them.

@lovelearning I have been to the GP, I saw a locum.

I wanted him to refer me for counseling. I want to explore the possibility I have ADD or similar (it certainly would explain a lot) and to deal with stuff from the past that I know affect my ability to cope with stuff that everyone else seems to find easy.

But he just suggested I attend a self-referral thing to learn techniques to help de-stress (I think it may be a group thing). I don't just want to de-stress, I want to tackle the root of the stress. He said I couldn't have ADD as I'm not hyperactive. (I understand that it's contraversial and some Doctors acknowledge you can have ADD with no hyperactivity but others only recognise ADHD ).

I have an appointment to go back and see my real GP. I suspect he will say the same and then I'll give it a go, but I really could do with counseling and I don't know how to access it.

My life is unravelling, everything is at risk of fucking up, and I don't know how to make it stop.

Probably about 4/10

I 'have' a lot more than I did 5 years ago - own a home, have a two year old when I thought we couldn't have children previously, got promoted to the job I wanted and thought I'd never get. Work part time so get two days a week with my daughter.

It hasn't made me any happier. In fact I'm more unhappy. I sometimes remember I used to feel spontaneously 'happy' or joyful I guess. Haven't felt that it in years.

Having things doesn't make you happy. It's a state of mind.

Pretty happy I think. Which doesn't come naturally anti-depressants as I am a paranoid worrier who catastrophises her every thought! However I am very content. I'd like more money, but don't need it. I'd like to lose weight, but still like myself. I love my husband and he loves me, in a solid, dependable/non butterfly type way. I have two delicious children and we have the opportunity to bring them up as we wish. We have juggled our working lives to do this, as we home ed. I have a job that pays a pittance, but is for a charity I am passionate about, with people I like a lot. I can walk or cycle to work. I have a best friend I love, and a few other good friends. I have my parents near by, who on the whole, I get on with very well.

Life is pretty good. But my core always says that with its fingers crossed, in fear of what life can bring by the way of nasty surprises.

Half and half just had a baby but life in general for us have some moderate issue's right now once we get through them I'll be happier

I'm happy. Like a pp, been through real, horrific trauma and after a lot of (continued) therapy, I've realised that there isn't just a dark side to life. In fact having seen the dark, I can appreciate the light.
I have love, I have safety and security. I'm alive and I'm strong.

Life is so tough and scary. But of Oh it's so good too. I feel alive now, numb was not living. Pain and anger and joy and love..feeling, that's living.
In an anxious panicked state on Friday, I even found myself laughing. I felt alive in my anxiety and was able to say. "I'm anxious, so what, it can't hurt me".
Happy in my feelings, whatever they may be

I am, I think. I have a job I love, a child I adore, a good husband and a happy family. I am pretty easily satisfied and have always been an optimist - my default state is cheerful, I think, although I'm obviously not always like that.

Having said that, there are things in my life I'm not happy with. My husband is ill, which I find really hard sometimes, and I'm still getting used to not being able to just drop everything and go out now I have a baby. And I'd like to be outdoors and in the countryside more. But yes, generally I am happy.

I'm a glass 3/4 full person and feel like I have a fairly charmed life. If I considered the life events and challenges we've faced we'd probably be able to write a book filled with misery and sorrow (such as several stillbirths, orphaned as a child, cancer x3). Truth is, you often choose whether to let life make you miserable. I am truly blessed with a wonderful husband, beautiful children, financial security, a fairly indulgent lifestyle, very dear friends, a job I love. We've worked hard to achieve that and deserve to be happy.

lovelearning thank you for your concern :) I have seen my doctor, had depression for many years, then PND. I'm ok, I just have my down times, especially in January even though my birthday was Friday.

I am on medication, reviewed regularly. It's nice to know a stranger cares, so thank you :)

Life is about ups and downs.. too many ups or downs it becomes tedious, or tortuous. It must be about balance, you have to live, that's the main thing.. and if you are lucky having decent people around you to share the experience of life. I've gone years wondering what's wrong with me and why most other people seemed to have a better life, but I was dwelling on the past which serves no purpose other than to confine you. Choose your friends wisely.. and embrace positivity, instead of the negativity which abounds us all at this time.

theothercatpurred, get to your GP ASAP

Insist on a referral to mental health services

TheFabledSnake, belated Happy Birthday

I'm neither happy nor unhappy (at the moment).
I'm definitely a pessimist/realist/cynic.
I ruminate too much over poor past choices to allow myself to be happy in the here and now and I over think the future.
Aside from that though I'm fine and have loads to be thankful for, i'm good on paper which will do.

Perhaps it also depends on where you are in life's journey. I'm retired and have fulfilled most of my life ambitions. I have been happily married for 41 years and I have a grown-up family who have each turned out to be useful, well-adjusted adults. That was my major life ambition. One that came along part-way along the journey was the desire to earn enough to pay for it all. Growing up, all I heard was people complaining that they never had enough money so I determined that I was not going to be in that position and I was lucky enough to get into a career that ensured we always had sufficient for what we wanted to do. Now that I am retired I have no financial worries and once again can do the things I want to do.

On the other hand, about 5 years before I retired I suffered a serious illness that resulted in life-altering surgery. I do not enjoy the physical limitations it places on my life, but there is no alternative. I suppose I am happy that I cheated death. Also, since my early 20s I have suffered from an anxiety about a basic bodily function which also places a limitaation on my life.

One thing I do in retirement is cycling and I find when I am out on my bike I am counting my blessings. I have a great deal to be thankful for so I guess that all in all I would say I am happy.

I am very, very happy. 9/10 or more most days. I had a terrible time as a teenager (and literally have the scars to prove it) and I think maybe I used up all my sad in those years
I/we have gone through our fair share of shit, but it has served to highlight the fact that we are very lucky and we have a very good life.
DH and I have an amazing relationship that seems to just be getting stronger and better as time passes. We have 2 brilliant, fantastic children who are both still young enough to think we're the best people ever. I'm a SAHM by choice; I recognise that I am incredibly privileged to be able to spend as much time as I like with my kids, and never miss a single important moment. DH is happy to be the breadwinner, is v generous and never resents being the 'provider'. We are both content and secure in our roles within the family and appreciate the importance of what the other does.
We own our house (well, with a fairly hefty mortgage) and have a long term goal re 'the dream house' which seems achievable. We don't struggle, we are all healthy, we love each other, we make each other laugh. I had a mc before DC1 and another 2 before DC2 arrived; there was a time I really didn't think I'd have him and he (and DC1) are so incredibly precious to me. Of course some days are boring and hard and frustrating, but generally I just feel really, really lucky. I never take any of it for granted. I say to DH quite often that we will look back on these as the very best of days ❤️ If anything upsets me, it's a kind of reverse nostalgia - the knowledge that this precious time will be over all too soon.

Not happy at all. Recently gone back into full time permanent teaching job and I have pure hatred and contempt for the job. I don't want to be there, but we want to buy a house and have more kids and I spent a whole year trying to change career and no one wants to know. Can't get out, hate the prospect of staying in. I feel like I'm screaming internally the whole time but I can't let people know.

It's horrible because I have a lovely husband and wonderful, funny, amazing daughter but I honestly feel like I'm dying inside right now.

BossWitch - I could have written your post .

Very happy. No complaints about health, husband, children, relatives, career or any financial worries. 9.8/10 on the happiness scale. It can't last, but I will enjoy it while it does.

I am not a naturally happy person and was born miserable.

I'm the happiest I've ever been though. Life can be tough for a variety of reasons but I also have so much good in my life. So much love.

I am content and that is what I aim for. I've got awful anxiety but I'm also very strong and have come through a lot of crap and I very much bounce back after knocks which helps.

I have loads to be grateful for and a lot of external factors that like to rock the boat but I've never been happier. My happiness could well be someone else,s unhappiness. It is all subjective.

I am truly happy.
Me and my partner are now comfortably childfree.
We have together 7 years and are so happy and complete with each other.

We are both about to start uni a little later than planned (at 25), we have at beautiful little home that we enjoy spending time in.
We are planning a few holidays this year and doing some traveling over the summer.
Our lives haven't followed a 'life script' but I am happy about that.

We have had rough times. Cancers, childless and loss of fertility but have come out the other side so truly happy and fulfilled.
There was a time, when dealing with losses that I thought we couldn't be happy and I am proven wrong.

I spend my days at the moment decorating, doing art, learning and being fulfilled by my own hopes and dreams. I am very thankful to be able to do this.
It's hard not to feel happy and fulfilled when this is life.
My partner is my best friend. We have such amazing fun together, water fights, games, fave TV shows and hobbies. We love hanging out together.

If I could change one aspect of my life I'd be healthier, and I'm even working towards that.
Happiness is a state of mind. It's not about what you have or what you don't. If that were true I wouldn't have lived past half of our past.

Be thankful and always remember only you can change your life.