to have called in sick this morning

[N1ghtshade]

Because I didn't feel like commuting to kindergarten, ds who is 4 says she never wants to go back. my laundry needs major attention, house is a mess, my hair is a mess too, nothing decent to wear because.. laundry.

More importantly I don't want my just turned 10 year old DS to come home to an empty house --and watch tv all afternoon

Also in my team, two have left, one starts maternity leave in a week, and the remaining person apart from me has his contract ending next month with no guarantee of renewal--

DH has a well paying job, i earn about half of what he does but mine is contract based and only guaranteed until Jan next year. I had to reapply for my own position to avoid redundancy in April.

We are not on the housing ladder yet, and our goal this year was to save enough for a deposit. ( I'm probably being naive but I think we could save this amount by me staying home on sick leave for the rest of the year) 3 other people men have done this and basically got full pay for half the year until they quit. I've worked at this job for over 6 years now with no scope for promotion or variation of work, and I'd like to work for myself as a web developer, or online marketer.

AIBU to stay home for the rest of the year?
DS has dyslexia and is in the final year of primary school. DD will be starting school next year and I feel like I should be bonding with her before that begins, and DS 2,5 needs potty training which isn't happening in kindergarten setting.

I think somewhere you knew it wasn't right which is why you posted not just snuggled down with Jeremy Kyle.

Are you in the UK? why does your DS finish school at 12.30. Can you use flexible working request to help reduce your hours.

I'm probably being naive but I think we could save this amount by me staying home on sick leave for the rest of the year

This is why those that are genuinely ill are given such a hard time.

OP if you were to do this it is fraud.

chocolateavacado99 When I was able to work I didn't take a duvet day no.

When life gets too much I don't think it's unreasonable to take 1 day off 'sick' to get on top of things and sort yourself out. We have to be better at taking care of our mental health and if you're stressed and overwhelmed then it's better to tackle it at source.

However you would be unreasonable to stay off for longer than 1 day - a day is enough to get sorted and have a think about how you can change stuff going forward.

Wow. Have none of you ever had a mental health (duvet day)?

Have you read the thread? It's not the one day which most people are objecting to. It was the OP's suggestion of taking the rest of the year off sick.

chocolateavocado (

I don't think you are being unreasonable.

After having almost 3 months off sick last year (drs orders) I have come to the conclusion that most bosses with bleed you dry and having a happy life outside of work is a lot more important that keeping bosses happy.

not just snuggled down with Jeremy Kyle

Urgh, that's such a vile thought, I do feel ill now! Calling in sick might be justified!

Thankfully the OP is in Germany & might not even know who he is! 😁

Leave your job if you dislike it that much, but going off sick because you feel like it is dishonest and unfair on colleagues. Consider how your sickness record will look when you want to apply for your next job.

For the love of chuff.... I'm a single mum, I run my own business and haven't had a single penny from my daughter's father. Ever. I have to run my house, business, car, life and everything else with not a single ounce of regular, reliable help. I do it with routines, military precision and a shed load of organising.

I just don't have sick days off unless I'm heading to hospital and whilst I appreciate you're having an off day, pull on your big girl pants and get it together.

Baubles,

Yes, where I am the policy is to hire more mgmt at 3x the pay of the lower downs where cuts are being made 'to the bone' those were the actual words used by the head-of when it was redundancy time.

Thank-you Frazzled, Shillwheeler Norma, mge, witchofzog and co. for the practical tips.
I do find writing lists helps to take a weight off mentally and things are a bit easier to work out then.

Time to get off MN now, Ciao

You sound like you have too much on your plate. I would say with 3 kids under 11, working full time and studying for a degree, something has to give or you will make yourself ill. Why on earth if you are both earning, haven't you sorted proper childcare for a ten year old? try to reduce your hours to get abetter work/ life balance or look for another job.

YANBU to want to call in sick so you can have what I refer to as a "mental health day" (Where you're not physically sick/ill/unwell, but you just need a day to yourself to get your head straight) I have suffered from anxiety and depression since I was a teenager and my therapist suggested this years ago as a good way to keep on top of my mental health.

YABU to want to go on the long term sick for no real reason beyond you don't feel like going in but you still want to get paid.

I wonder how many people berating the OP here are actually typing their responses from work.

Imperial - I would be fired if I went on MN at work !! we are not even allowed to have our mobile phones on us.

Ha I never have time to MN at work. Barely get time to check my phone for messages. It's my day off!

Is trying to get a year off sick whilst getting paid wrong? Yes
Would I do it if I thought I could get away with it? Hell YES

If I worked for a small employer who were personal friends I would probably not be able to do it. But if I worked for a large multi national organisation I would do it in a heartbeat

You only have one chance to live your life

I know nothing about your employer but I do not owe mine or my colleagues anything.

But.....I do not do it because taking a year off sick would seriously impact on my ability to get such a 'good' job again and on my pension. But I equally sit and dream about doing this - I had three months off sick last year, June, July, August - I had surgery I had to recover from so after the first couple of weeks felt perfectly well but could not drive or use a computer it was total bliss.

You sound stressed and overwhelmed. Soldiering on when you feel like that is likely to result in total burn out and poor mental health. You also haven;t been able to take as much annual leave as you wanted and having those extra days might have helped you get back into balance. Many organisations require their staff to take at least two consecutive weeks of annual leave - have you had 2 weeks off in the last year? I think it's fine to take a couple of days off.

I know nothing about your employer but I do not owe mine or my colleagues anything.

Erm, yes you do. You are being paid to do a job. So you owe them the work being done.

OP, you sound like you have a lot on your plate, however, you know YABU to try your plan, take today, have a meeting with management, and if needed, send your laundry out.

Tea break so I can post a reply here,

@hellonheels,

Nope I haven't had longer than 5 days in over a year. As for my son he was going to my MILs who lives around the corner, until late last year, she isn't able to do this anymore. She is still a major help to me and I Give her €€€ each month to show my appreciation and help out as she now pays rent in her own home (to BIL)

I'll certainly be kinder to myself this year and I think taking a study break is the first and easiest place to start. Lots of red tape in getting hours reduced an it's not looking likely as apart from no other staff...on Friday I needed to take a half day off for family and new boss gave me a hard time about it. I ended up handing in a half day official leave just to leave 2 hours earlier than everyone else, and still worked to support other staff on my commute home.

... at the poster who pointed out that using company time and internet for MN or surfing is not seen as fraud, stealing.

Not sure if this is a deliberately goody post but here is my tuppence worth. A few years ago I was genuinely ill with hyperemesis, I was being sick up to fifty times a day and was hospitalised on six occasions. I was signed off work as I was physically unable to be there (turning over in bed made me vomit even !), the person I worked with was off with "stress" but was well enough to go on holiday, run a half marathon etc etc. Work rang me constantly asking when I was going to be back as they couldn't contact the stressed person, my Gp even rang to speak to my HR manager to say how ill I was. I ended up instructing a solicitor to get them to stop hassling me (I was off for seven weeks) the stressed person who was blatantly taking the piss had none of this grief. I think you are a morally reprehensible individual and can only hope you do truly get what you are pretending to have

Goady not goody

Many organisations require their staff to take at least two consecutive weeks of annual leave

Many more don't

I wonder how many people berating the OP here are actually typing their responses from work.

No I am trying to recover from a very serious illness.

When I was at work I wouldn't have access to my phone let alone MN.

Shiraz

the stressed person also off sick dont begrudge every single stressed person off sick.
you need to have a rethink about your attitude imo

There are some really unpleasant posts in this thread. OP is stressed - that can have serious impact on health. Those of you posting the 'I had it worse' comments should stop with the self absorption, it shouldn't be a race to the bottom here.